


Listen To My Heart

by kattyk (zenithblue)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Community College, Complete, F/M, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Smut, Sweet, Teacher Castiel, Teacher Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-05 12:54:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 50,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3120896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zenithblue/pseuds/kattyk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Community College AU, Dean and Castiel are teachers, and Dean decides to give Cas an education in music.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean Winchester smiled as he looked around his classroom. Thirty six new faces looked back at him, some enthusiastic, some clearly still half asleep, one or two looked terrified. It was the first day of community college for many of these people and as well as projecting a range of moods, the faces before him demonstrated a variety of ages and ethnicities. One of the things Dean loved about teaching engineering at community college in Lawrence, Kansas was the variety of people he got to meet. He was still in touch with many of his former pupils, and it made him happy to see them doing well in their lives. He hoped this year would be the same.

Dean ran his hand through close cropped dark blond hair and mentally rehearsed his opening day speech for a moment as everyone settled into seats and rummaged in bags. He smiled at the enthusiastic looking blonde girl in the second row, Jo Harvelle was like a sister to him, and it was always good to see a familiar face on game day. She smirked back at him, and he just hoped she wasn't going to make his first class another of their games of one upmanship. Once he felt like everyone was focused enough on him, he figured it was time to start the class. He picked up a pile of green papers and, bracing himself, began handing them out to the waiting people. 

'Ok class, this here is introduction to engineering, and my name is Dean Winchester. It's a basic class, meant to be mostly theory. The green sheets I'm passing out are your syllabus for the next fifteen weeks, and as you can see, we don't take the theory part too seriously. There is plenty of time to put what you've learned into practice, using a variety of materials. You'll also see that we have a final class project which will be competitive, and team based, although you'll all receive individual scores too. I'll talk more about that later, as well as what to do if you need extra help, or you need to see me for any reason. For now, I want you to get to know your class mates, so we're going to rearrange the furniture a bit. From now on when you come into class I want you to set these individual desks into groups of four, and at the end of the class we'll put them back again. That way you all will get to know your future team mates and competitors. Ok make it happen.'

He looked out at the class as they all looked back at him dazed for a moment, and then Dean did a mental retrack. Had he missed something? He didn't think so, but he wasn't one for long speeches, and Jo was already looking like she wanted to say something snarky to him, so he waved his arms in a vaguely 'off you go' gesture to the front row, who immediately jumped out of their seats and started shuffling the small individual desks together. Thankfully the rest of the class followed suit. Awesome. 

Under the noise of the shuffling, Dean breathed for a moment. He loved teaching these people, but that didn't mean he didn't get nervous on the first day of class. A new class was an unknown quantity, although less so this year with Jo in his room. As the noise quieted he looked up, people were beginning to settle again. Dean realised he should give out the rest of his instructions, rather than standing there like a deer in the headlights. 

'People, I want you to make sure that you have at least one textbook on each table, I know some of you don't have your books yet, so for today we're going to learn the art of sharing. I want you to read through the first chapter together, and then talk through the questions at the end of the chapter. I also want you to introduce yourselves to each other, make some friends, and swap contact information. Later in the semester this will be useful, trust me.'

Dean remembered his own time in community college well, it was his first step in gaining the teaching qualifications that allowed him to teach now, and he would never have made it through without the support of the friends he made during that time. His focus had been split between trying to complete his classes, working for his surrogate father Bobby, who ran an auto repair shop, and taking care of his younger brother Sammy, and more than once he'd felt like he'd bitten off more than he could chew. Benny and Charlie had seen to it that he'd made it through, and he hoped he had done the same for them. Dean's life was a bit more straight forward now, Sammy was at college, Dean had graduated and found this job, but he still remembered that feeling of being out of his depth. He didn't want his students to feel overwhelmed like that and so he encouraged them to make friends and lean on each other for help when they needed it.

As the class settled into a steady hum of discussion noise, Dean wandered from table to table, meeting students and answering questions about the book, the class and college life in general. He was pretty happy with the way things were going, people seemed to be getting along, and there seemed to be no drama. As Dean was returning to his desk though, he heard the opening strains of what he was ashamed to be able to recognise as a Taylor Swift song, and he knew there was something he'd forgotten to discuss with the class. 

'Guys, can I have your attention for a minute? Great. I don't have many rules in this class, but one of my few rules is about cell phones. If yours goes off in class, you get to bring in pie for the whole class next time. No exceptions. So hands up, who has the Taylor Swift ringtone?'

As the class all looked at each other, and in bags and pockets for cell phones, the music continued to play, and eventually Jo announced, 'Dean, I don't think that's a phone, I think it's coming from downstairs.'

Huh. Music, coming from the classroom below. 'Jo, who's in the room below this one, do you know?' Dean asked. He didn't pay a whole lot of attention to the goings on of other staff, if he was honest. They were all about twenty years older than him, and if Dean was honest, he felt like they looked down on him a little. 

'I think it's Mr Novak,' Jo hedged, as another member of the class, a skinny guy who Dean thought was named Garth piped up, 'It's Mr Novak, he's new. He's teaching woodshop.'

Novak, the name rang a bell. Dean had a sudden flash of blue eyes, sexily messy dark hair, grouchy disposition. He'd run into Mr Novak at the coffee table at the lecturer orientation day last week. Neither Dean nor Novak had introduced themselves, but Novak had made an impression on Dean all the same. Novak hadn't said a word, but didn't look the type to be into tragic romance pop music. Dean hummed for a minute, then smiled, and rummaged in the duffle bag he always brought to class with him. It contained notes and plans, as well as clothes for the evenings he still helped Bobby out at the auto shop. It also held a cassette tape, which Dean pulled out of the bag in triumph. 'Jo, get over here', he called, as he scrawled a note on a piece of paper, and taped it to the cassette, hopefully so that Jo couldn't read it. He handed the cassette and the note to Jo, and instructed her to run down to Novak's classroom and pass it to the teacher. As she left, with a slightly baffled look on her face, he turned back to the class, who were all, to a one, staring at him. He sighed. 'Back to work people. And the cell phone rule still stands. Pie. For everyone. Don't forget it.'


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel Novak loved working with his hands. Whether it was wood, stone, metal, or more unconventional materials, he loved to build, create and sculpt. Unfortunately the life of a starving artist he'd tried to cultivate had veered from the romantic into genuinely worrying about starving territory, and so when the Lawrence community college had advertised for a woodshop teacher, he'd realised there might be worse jobs on the planet, and had put in an application. Teacher orientation had not been a great experience for the most part, and now, he was looking around the classroom slightly nervously as his first group of students filed in and took their seats. Castiel's classroom was really two classrooms, the one he was standing in held desks, chairs, and a bank of computers and printers for design work, and through a door at the back of the room was a store room full of materials and a work shed filled with all the machinery a community college workshop could hope to offer, along with what Castiel hoped was plenty of soundproofing given the elderly state of some of the equipment. 

As everyone settled down Castiel took a deep breath, picked up a stack of green paper, handed them to the first person he could reach and asked them to pass the sheets out to the class. 'Hello everyone, I'm Mr Novak, I'll be teaching you introduction to shop. We're going to be making some interesting projects, with a variety of tools and materials, and hopefully you'll all discover some new skills, as well as a creative side. The papers you're holding will tell you a bit about what the next few weeks will hold in this class. We're going to start though, with the dull stuff, safety briefings. To try and keep your attention a bit, around the room I've laid out the tools you'll likely be using with some do's and dont's to keep you from losing an arm. I want you to pair up and fill out this quiz, based on the information you find. I know you're all probably itching to get your hands on the tools themselves, and we will, but only once we complete the safety briefing, so to sweeten the deal a bit, I'll allow one of you to choose today's music. We'll generally have music playing in class for any of the more active stuff we're doing, although not for the tests, for obvious reasons. Feel free to bring in your cassette tapes, although I'll have the final say over the selection of course. Does anyone have a cassette they'd like to play today? Unfortunately the school hasn't quite embraced the modern technology that is the CD player yet.'

A dark haired petite woman put her hand up and smiled at the same time. 'What's your name?' asked Castiel. 'Lisa' came the response, 'I have a cassette in my car I can go fetch if you'd like? My car's kinda old so I only have a cassette player in there.'

'Sure, it's not anything offensive is it?' Castiel looked more closely at the young woman. She was very pretty, more cheerleading squad than grungy garage band, based on what Castiel could see.

'No Mr Novak, it's mostly just Taylor Swift and country music.'

Castiel sent Lisa to fetch her cassette, and soon the class was carrying out the safety briefing to the strains of Ms Swift. Castiel smiled, he was optimistic that this class could be fun, and that it might even restart his creativity. The starving artist thing had unfortunately had a lot to do with Castiel hitting the sculptural equivalent of writers block after a particularly messy breakup, but now Castiel felt like he might finally be coming out from underneath the fog of that particular nightmare. As he watched students moving around the room, checking out the tools, he noticed a petite blonde woman had strolled into his classroom, almost like she owned the place. 

'Are you late, Ms..?'

'No sir, I'm not in this class. Um...' Jo was really not sure what to say to the tall dark haired man looking grumpily down at her. Dean had sent her on a strange mission for sure. 

Castiel noted the look of concern on the young woman's face, he was probably scowling. He seemed to do that a lot lately. He tried to rearrange his features to soften his look a little, asking, 'So what can I do for you then?'

'I'm Jo Harvelle. Mr Winchester sent me. He teaches engineering in the classroom above this one. He asked me to give you this.' Jo handed Castiel what appeared to be a cassette tape wrapped in a piece of paper. Castiel glanced at the ceiling briefly and frowned, as he tried to place the name in his memory of teacher orientation. He'd not been at his best that day, the whole idea of working for a living had been quite overwhelming, and he was not embarrassed to say that after weeks of locking himself away from the world, his people skills had been rusty. As a result he had barely spoken to anyone at the meeting. But he did recall wide green and gold eyes, short blond hair, and powerful upper body build, as well as a smile which had, for a second, made him rethink his post break up vow of celibacy. But only for a second. Getting involved with a fellow teacher, especially a male one, would not make for a promising start to his teaching career.

'Sir?' Jo was still holding out the cassette. Castiel stuttered, he'd been miles away. He took the offering from Jo, and sent her back to her class. He sat down slowly at his desk, turning the paper wrapped object over in his hands, wondering. Finally he opened the paper, surprised to see an aggressive scrawl of handwriting across the inside of the sheet. 

'Dear Mr Novak, 

Not being a fan of Taylor Swift, I was thinking that perhaps you could try the enclosed if we're both going to have to listen to your music choices. 

Dean Winchester'

Castiel hummed a moment, and picked up the cassette again, eyeing the label written in the same scrawl as the note. AC/DC. He'd heard of the group, but was, to say the least, unfamiliar with their work. He looked back at the note, and noticed for the first time a postscript and a phone number under the fold.

'P.S. Give me a call if you're looking for something new to listen to.'

Castiel wondered how he was supposed to take that, and then wondered if he would indeed call. He lost himself in a train of thought about his decision to stay single, and how green eyes and lush lips would factor into that, before realising he was probably just over thinking things. He smiled as he ejected Lisa's cassette, reminding the groaning members of the class that he had final veto over the music. As the opening guitar riff of Back in Black pounded out through the speakers of the school's ancient sound system, Castiel felt a heat of anticipation growing in him which had long been absent. 

As Dean caught the opening riff of the song through the floor of his classroom, he smiled too, and wondered if Mr Novak had recognised the open invite to call for what it was, a shameless attempt to get to know the woodshop teacher much better.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel pulled on the tan trenchcoat he wore every day, and gathered his things to leave for the college. He looked around his small kitchen, wondering what he'd forgotten. Many of his belongings were still in boxes and not knowing where everythign was made Castiel feel ever so slightly disorientated, like he'd perpetually forgotten something. His eye caught the cassette tape, sitting on the counter next to the coffee pot and his cheeks flushed slightly. He'd brought the tape home to listen to more fully, and had wound up listening to it in bed.

_Castiel was exhausted, his first day of classes had certainly been challenging, but interesting too. He showered the dust and grime of the work shop away and crawled into bed in his softest pyjama pants, not bothering with a shirt. September was still warm in Kansas, and he needed a decent night's sleep if he was to face students again tomorrow. Castiel had brought Dean's cassette to bed with him, and now plugged it into the Walkman he normally used to play classical music to help him sleep. He slotted the headphones over his ears and settled back, intending to really listen to the music his colleague had sent to him. As the guitars and drums pulsed, Castiel found his mind drifting. For a moment he thought about Balthazar, his ex boyfriend. Their relationship had had it's ups and downs, but even so, Castiel had not seen the end coming. He sighed and shook his head, dwelling on the past wasn't healthy, he knew that. He'd spent too much time brooding over that particular set of events, to the detriment of everything else in his life. He'd left all that behind when he moved from San Francisco in an attempt to move on. He was building a new life, meeting new people, and although he had no intention of getting involved with any of them it was good to be making friends. One person in particular though, stood out. Dean Winchester. Though Castiel had never even said so much as a word to Dean, the man had made a major impression, and Castiel could picture him now._

_He saw those green eyes again, sparkling as the plush lips smiled at him, dark blond short hair, artfully messy, strong arms, a smooth powerful chest hidden beneath a tshirt and plaid overshirt. Castiel's heart started to beat faster, as the pace of the music built, and he ran his hands down his own chest, thinking all the while that he shouldn't, couldn't be getting turned on by the thought of a man he'd barely met. But there it was, his cock growing thicker and his heart speeding up, he was hot under the comforter and as his right hand trailed down his stomach, he pushed off the blanket with his left arm, eyes still closed, imagining that it was Dean's hand running down his chest, across his stomach, warm and firm. He wondered how Dean's lips would taste as he dipped in for a kiss, and would his kisses be possessive and fierce,or sweet and gentle? How would he smell, what woudl his mouth taste like?_

_Castiel knew that his imagination was running wild, but now, as he pushed his hand underneath the waistband of his pyjamas, freeing his cock, his mind was seeing those beautiful lips, red, hot and wet, and wrapping around his cock, as green eyes gazed up at him, pupils blown wide. Castiel fisted his own hand around his cock, realizing with a gasp that he was fully aroused, shivering despite the heat as he imagined Dean's tongue flickering over his head, licking stripes up the underneath of his reddened, weeping cock. Castiel pulled his hand slowly up, and down the shaft, whimpering already. He hadn't been this hard, this fast, in a long time, and he knew it wouldn't last. A few short thrusts and Castiel groaned, imagining Dean taking his cock deep into the back of his throat, swallowing everything Castiel gave him. That was enough to send Castiel over the edge, and he arched off the bed, coming with a shout, which trailed into a shudder, as Castiel relaxed again, stroking his cock through the orgasm, until he could feel himself softening again._

_Castiel felt boneless, exhausted but in a delicious way, soft and warm and slightly lightheaded. He sighed as he ran his hand back up his chest and discovered he was also sticky. He dragged the headphones, still playing, off his head, and wrenched himself up from the bed. He padded into the tiny bathroom, cleaning himself up with a washcloth. Yawning he headed back to the bed, pulling the headphones back on, and the blanket over himself. He drifted to sleep, with AC/DC still in his ears, and he slept like the dead, his first good night's sleep in weeks._

Castiel grabbed the tape off the kitchen counter and dropped it in his pocket. He felt a jolt of warmth inside himself, knowing that keeping the cassette close to him all day would make it hard to concentrate, but for some reason he didn't want to be parted from it. He had no intention of getting involved with anyone, his vow of celibacy was still strong, but there was nothing wrong with a little day dreaming, right? As he pulled open his car door and dropped his bag onto the passenger seat he realized he was smiling, actually smiling, a rare thing lately. He hummed under his breath as he started the car, and then laughed out loud when he noticed he was humming Back in Black.

Castiel pulled into the campus parking lot just in time to see a tall figure in a leather jacket climbing out of a stunning black car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thanks to those of you who've taken the time to read this. This is my first attempt at fanfic, and I don't have an editor so any mistakes are mine alone. I have a good idea of where this story is going, so hopefully updates will be regular. Feel free to leave comments! Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel recognized Dean instantly, but hesitated over whether to go over and say hello. If they didn't actually meet, then it won't be so hard for Castiel to keep the pledge he made to himself not to get involved with someone again. He was determined not to get his heart broken again, especially so soon after recovering from his disastrous split from Balthazar. That had nearly broken him, and Castiel couldn't go there again, not yet. But he couldn't deny that the teacher was attractive, would it hurt so much just to say hello? And besides, they worked in the same building, running into him was inevitable. All the while Castiel was having this mental war with himself he failed to notice Dean approaching, slowly, with a look on his face almost as if he was encountering a nervous animal. In fact Castiel was oblivious until Dean was standing right in front of him, watching Castiel fumble with his car keys as he tried to lock his car. Castiel looked up with a jolt as he heard a deep voice calling his name. 

'Mr Novak, right?'

Castiel looked up and fell into green eyes. Dean was a couple of inches taller than him, and from this distance Castiel could see the constellation of freckles across the skin of Dean's nose and cheeks. He noted a dusting of stubble across a strong jaw line, and that gorgeous, gorgeous mouth was smiling at him. And talking to him. And Castiel was staring, mute.

'Mr Novak?' Dean tried again, frowning slightly. Something in Castiel started to sing at the sound of Dean calling him Mr Novak.

'Uh, yes?' Castiel, wavered and then tried again, more firmly, with a mental shake to clear his head, 'Yes. You must be Mr Winchester?' 

'Dean, you can call me Dean. Hi.'

'Well in that case, you should call me Castiel. Hello Dean.' 

'That's an unusual name Castiel, where'd that come from?'

'My parents were religious, they named us all after angels, Michael got off lucky, Gabriel and I, not so much.' 

'Huh, Castiel, I like it. Hello Castiel.' Dean was smiling again, and Castiel couldn't help but smile back at him. Dean's smile was glorious, it lit up his whole face and Castiel noticed that his eyes crinkled at the corners. 

'I, uh, should say, thank you. For the tape. It was interesting, and a definite improvement on Lisa's selection. I've never heard any of AC/DC's music so it was interesting. Thank you for sending it down to me.' Castiel realized he was waffling, and blushed slightly when he thought about just how much he'd enjoyed Dean's gift last night. He shut his mouth with a click.

Dean grinned even wider. 'Well if you liked that Cas, I've got plenty more you can try. Come this way.'

Dean took off, heading back to his car. Castiel thought about it for a millisecond and then followed, his body seemed to have made his mind up for him. 

'This is your car? It's beautiful.' Castiel admired the sleek black car, which appeared to be immaculate, despite it's age.

'You like her? She's a 1967 Impala, she was my dad's before she was mine. I restored her myself.'

'She?'

'Yeah, uh, she's my baby.' Dean grinned again and felt himself turn a little pink, he was proud of the car and with good reason. He was also secretly thrilled that Cas liked her. Cas, he was already thinking of him as Cas. That was interesting. 

Dean shook free of his wandering thoughts and focused on the back seat of the impala, where a box sat on the floor. He rummaged for a second, and came up with another tape, and held it out to Castiel, who took it and squinted at the label. Led Zeppelin. He smiled back up at Dean, and reached into his pocket for the other cassette, holding it out to Dean. 

'Nah, man keep it for a while. I have plenty of music, and I'm always happy to share. If you haven't heard AC/DC then I'm guessing you've missed out on Led Zep too, although I can't for the life of me figure out how you go through life not hearing such great tunes.'

Castiel blushed a little, 'Like I said, my family were super religious. We listened to a lot of classical music and hymns. We didn't watch a lot of tv either.'

'Oh man, you've missed out on so much. I feel like Yoda, there's so much to teach you.'

'Yoda?'

'Star Wars? Tell me you've seen Star Wars?'

Castiel shook his head slowly, he'd heard of the movies, but he'd never gotten around to watching them, like most movies to be honest. 

'Ok well in that case, you need to come over to my place this weekend for a Star Wars marathon. We can get pizza maybe, hang out, I've got a bunch of vinyl you're gonna love too. What do you say?'

Feeling thoroughly steamrollered, and with his last shreds of resolve crumbling in the face of those stunning green eyes, which were now sparkling with excitement, Castiel nodded slowly. 'Ok, that sounds... good. Ah... Should I bring anything?'

Dean's face lit up at Castiel's acceptance of his invitation. 'You can bring beer if you like, but it's not mandatory. Or pie. I like pie. I'll supply the movies and the popcorn. Come by around noon on Saturday, I'll send Jo down with the address tomorrow.'

'Ok then, I will do that. I should probably get to class now though.'

'Yeah me too, nice to properly meet you Cas, I'll see you later.'

Dean smiled again and then was off, heading towards the main entrance of the tech building where both of their classrooms were. Castiel stood still for a few moments. He realized, faintly, that he was in trouble here. He'd sworn not to get involved with anyone, but there was no stopping the attraction he felt towards Dean. He had no idea if the other man was attracted to him at all, he could just be looking to make a new friend. He might not even be attracted to men, although something about the way he'd looked at Cas made Cas think otherwise. And now he was thinking of himself with the nickname that Dean had bestowed upon him. No one had ever given him a nickname before, except Balthazar, who'd called him Cassie, when he'd thought Cas was being silly. Castiel decided that he liked his new name, it went with his new life and his new, not dwelling on bad memories, not getting involved, attitude towards things. Just as long as he could see Saturday as not being a date, then he'd stay on the straight and narrow. What could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah! Getting these two to talk to each other was harder than I expected! Back at college so updates will probably be about once a week from now on.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean was feeling pleased with himself about something, Jo could tell, as he called her over in the middle of group project work during their Wednesday class, and handed her another cassette tape wrapped in paper. When he asked her to take the tape down to Mr Novak again, she thought his eyes lit up a little and she wondered what might be behind that little glimpse of happy glow. When she delivered the tape to Mr Novak and his eyes lit up too, she thought her suspicions were confirmed, there was something happening there. She'd tried to get a peek at what was written on the paper, but it was wrapped up tight, she could see Dean had written something though, and it drove her crazy not being able to read it. Someone should really teach Dean about modern technology like text messaging, save her running up and down the stairs with his love notes, she thought huffily.

Jo and her mom Ellen had often speculated about Dean and his lack of settling down, and while he'd never actually come out and said it in words, Jo was pretty sure he was bisexual. She wasn't sure why Dean wouldn't admit it to his friends, although she wondered if Dean's father had made his opinions known on the subject and put Dean off being open about the way he was. Dean was definitely an equal opportunities flirt, winning over girls and guys alike at the Roadhouse, the bar her mom owned. Many a time Jo had watched Dean charm his way out of a confrontation with that hundred watt smile and pretty green eyes, and it seemed like male or female, no one could resist his charisma. Hell, she would admit she once had a teensy tiny crush on him herself. Now he was more like the older brother she'd never asked for, and she couldn't imagine any other kind of relationship with him. But there was definitely something up with Dean and the woodshop teacher. Jo resolved to make it her mission to find out what.

~ ~ ~

On Friday nights the Roadhouse was a comfortable mix of dust gathering regulars warming familiar seats and younger college types enjoying their first stop on their way downtown to somewhere a little more fast paced. It was a dive bar, with old scarred wooden tables, a dirty floor and a juke box full of classics. It had no pretensions about being anything else. Dean loved it here because it felt like home, and in fact on and off it had been home at times for him and Sammy. Their dad had dumped them there more than once while he went off to work. Ellen had taken care of them both and Dean had always felt grateful for those times when he could be a brother and not a dad to Sam, thanks to her care.

Dean had his usual spot at the end of the bar, from which he could see the pool table, in case a likely hustle presented itself, and the door, in case he had to reprise his occasional role as unofficial unpaid bouncer. He wasn't expecting trouble, but he liked to be able to help out Ellen when she needed it, to repay her kindness in the past. To be fair to Ellen though, most of the trouble makers would much rather tussle with Dean than take her on, she was wonderful but legitimately terrifying, and it was a braver man than Dean who'd cross her. Dean was sticking to beer tonight, he'd gone through a phase after Sammy had left for college when he'd tried to drink the loneliness and general feeling of being overwhelmed away with harder stuff, but he could remember the mortification of Ellen having to clean him up after one too many, and so now he generally stuck to the lighter stuff, at least when she was watching. Jo was behind the bar, serving beers and trading insults with the veteran regulars, and when Dean indicated his empty glass she was ready with another beer almost straight away. She dumped it down in front of him and looked at him with that steely gaze that reminded Dean so much of her mom. She wanted something, Dean could tell, and he found himself thinking that maybe the Roadhouse wasn't the best plan for his Friday evening after all.

'So', Jo eyeballed Dean, one eyebrow cocked. 'What's with the notes?'

Dean may or may not have turned slightly pink. He hoped it was just the warmth of the bar and the beer, and not his face betraying him.

'Notes?' Dean tried for innocent, but he could already see that Jo was not going to let this one go. Damn it.

'Come on Dean, don't try and pull that one one me, what's in the notes you've been sending to the hot woodwork teacher?'

'Hot woodwork teacher?' Dean cursed internally as Ellen chose that moment to appear behind her daughter. Although in her early fifties, Ellen had clearly passed on good genes to her daughter, both were slim and fair, and Ellen possessed a mature elegance that seemed out of place in a dive like the Roadhouse. At that moment though she was giving Dean a look identical to the one Jo had just given him. Dean sighed, he knew this was coming eventually, but he was not ready to lay himself bare, and besides he had no idea if Cas was gay or even into him, and there was definitely no actual relationship, despite what Dean might have imagined in the privacy of his shower tonight as he was getting ready to head to the bar. His inner voice rambled on and he zoned out for a moment listening to it, but then he noticed that the two women were still staring at him expectantly.  Having both of them stare him down truly was formidable.

'Jo's making stuff up. Ignore her.' He tried to brush the conversation off, but Jo was having none of it.

'Dean's been sending notes during class, to the hot woodwork teacher downstairs from us', she announced, sticking her tongue out at Dean when she thought her mom wasn't looking.

' _Oh you wait_ ', thought Dean, ' _I'll get you back for that_.' Aloud he said to Ellen, 'The guy was playing awful Taylor Swift music loud enough that my whole engineering group had to suffer it, so I sent him some better music to share with us all. That's all.'

'Does hot woodwork teacher have a name?' asked Ellen, who had clearly been expecting Dean to talk about a female teacher, and had to carefully school her face into a neutral expression.

'His name is Castiel Novak. He's new around here I think, and he seems a nice guy, I don't know if he knows too many people though.' Dean hesitated before his next comment, because he knew it would put the cat amongst the pigeons, but screw it. Once again, nothing was going on.  Even if Dean wanted something to be going on.  Which he might.  He didn't know yet and he was damned if he was going to be dragged over the coals over something that didn't even exist yet.  He took a sip of beer, and muttered, 'He's coming over tomorrow for a movie marathon. Apparently he's never seen Star Wars.'

Ellen's eyebrow did a perfect imitation of Jo's cocked eyebrow, but mercifully she said nothing, perhaps understanding that this was something fragile for Dean, he'd never been open about his sexuality, and he wasn't about to be now, and he certainly wasn't in a place where he could deal with mockery. Ellen took pity on him, she saw Jo opening her mouth, no doubt to say something snarky, and cut her off. 'Joanna Beth, there are customers that need seein' to, off you go.'

Jo closed her mouth with a humph, and turned on her toes, not about to disobey her mother, but clearly annoyed at being denied the chance to rip at Dean, who was smiling gratefully at Ellen. She smiled gently back and left him to his beer and peace, leaving Dean slightly dazed, wondering why he's gotten off so lightly. At that moment his ancient cell phone buzzed. He squinted at the unfamiliar number in his message list. The only people who ever texted him were Sam, Jo and Charlie, and he had all their numbers saved in his phone. Even Benny hadn't really mastered the art, preferring to call when he wanted to get in touch. Dean opened the message;

_Dean, I'm looking forward to tomorrow, please let me know if there is anything besides pie and beer I should bring. I'll see you around 11. Cas._

He read the message twice in Cas's gravel swallowed voice, and felt a little warmer at the thought of Cas saying his name. He smiled at the way Cas had used full words and punctuation, Sam would love that.  He was always nagging at Dean to stop using text speak, reminding him that he got free messages on his plan, he didn't have to worry about how long they were.  Dean mostly used text speak to annoy Sammy these days, he secretly found it a little annoying too.  Which is why his reply to Cas was carefully composed, to say that Cas didn't need to bring anything else, and that 11 was perfect. Then he saved Cas's number into his phone, and took a swallow of beer to calm his nerves a little, as he scrolled through his phone's contacts.

Wow, Cas's number took his contacts list into double figures. Maybe Cas wasn't the only one who needed to make new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean, and Taylor Swift, it's killing me! No spoilers for anyone who hasn't seen last night's episode yet, but those of you that have watched it can imagine how much I was laughing!
> 
> Originally this was supposed to be all smut, but it's turning into something of a slower burner, which I like, I think these guys need to get to know each other a little more. But there will be smut, I promise.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Castiel scowled into his wardrobe, as if it had personally slighted him. He stood, wrapped in a towel, fresh from the shower. He'd been trying to trying to figure out what on earth to wear for twenty minutes now. This wasn't a date, he kept telling himself, and it was daytime, and they would be indoors, just watching movies, but Cas still wished to look good. How did people make casual yet stylish look so effortless? He sighed, and pulled on a pair of snug fitting dark blue jersey boxer briefs, dropping the towel, and looked himself over in the long mirror on his wardrobe door. Years of sculpting artworks, combined with a relatively healthy diet and regular running, meant that his body was smooth and toned. His legs were muscular, but not bulky, and his stomach was almost as flat as Cas would like. His upper body strength was expressed through a broad chest and shoulders and toned arms. Most of the time Castiel was happy with what he saw when he looked in the mirror. Despite being closer to 30 than 20, he still felt that he looked young, and healthy. His only negative was the frown lines which scribbled across his forehead, he tried to scowl less, he really did, but his default face setting seemed to be serious.

Focusing again on the matter in hand, Castiel pulled a dark pair of jeans out of the wardrobe and slipped them on. That was the easy part. He looked at his selection of shirts again. Would a shirt be too formal? Probably. Compromise, then. From a dresser he fished out a plain black t-shirt, pulling it over his head, and reached back into the wardrobe for a dark blue shirt with a soft collar.  He pulled it on over the t-shirt, leaving it unbuttoned. Socks and black Converse finished his outfit, and he was ready to go. He grabbed the bags containing the beer and the pie he'd bought this morning off his counter, and snagged his wallet, phone and keys. At the last minute he grabbed one of Dean's tapes, this one was Bon Jovi.  He seemed to carry at least one cassette like a talisman.  Time to go.

~ ~ ~

Dean looked up at his clock, which read 10.45, and then he scrutinized his small apartment, daring it to be untidy. The kitchen was clean, there was popcorn ready to pop, and beer and soda in the fridge. Beside the TV he'd piled his Star Wars DVDs, ready to go. He'd cleared all the usual crap off his soft grey couch, except for the cream colored throw blanket which hung off the back. He knew where the pizza menus were, he'd even dusted and vacuumed. Even the bathroom and his bedroom were spotless. His apartment was small, but comfortable and he was pretty house proud, but this was excessive, even for him. Something in Dean, which he was trying hard not to think too much about, deeply wanted to make a good impression. Almost exactly as the clock clicked over to eleven, a knock sounded at his door. Dean took a deep breath, and padded out into the hall to open the door and greet his guest.

He pulled open the door and smiled at the unsure looking man standing in front of him.

'Hey Cas, let me take those bags for you. Come on in.'

Castiel followed Dean into the hall, and noticing Dean was in his socks, toed off his sneakers as he obediently handed over the paper bags he'd brought. Dean peeked into the bags he was now holding and grinned.

'Pie! Awesome, what flavor is it?'

'It's apple caramel, I hope you like it. There's vanilla ice cream in the other bag too, it should go in the freezer.'

Dean's eyes lit up and he headed into the kitchen, with Cas following, looking around at Dean's apartment, hoping to learn more about the man he was following. The hallway held photographs of Dean and a taller man with shaggy dark hair, and the same tall man with a smaller blond woman, all smiles. A third photo displayed Dean in workshop gear, covered in dirt and oil, standing next to a slightly grumpy looking older man who sported a beard and a worn trucker cap. So Dean had people in his life whom he cared about. They moved into the kitchen, which was small and neat. A shiny coffee maker held prime counter space, and a small table and two chairs tucked into one corner. Through a doorway he could see into the lounge area of the apartment. Everything was neat and tidy.

Castiel looked back around at Dean, expecting him to be placing things in the freezer and fridge, only to realize that Dean was in fact looking at him as he checked out the bits of the apartment visible from their position in the kitchen. Dean's lip twitched, and he tilted his head.

'Want the nickel tour?'

'Sure', said Cas, suddenly willing to follow Dean anywhere.

Dean showed him around the rest of the apartment, which consisted of a bathroom, Dean's bedroom, with a bed perfectly made and shelves with stacks of vinyl records next to an old looking record player.  Last was a small office with a desk piled high with paperwork remarkably similar to the desk in Cas's study. Grading and lesson planning, the joys of being a teacher. They wound their way back into the living room, and settled onto the couch.

'I still can't believe you've never seen Star Wars man, how is that even possible?' Dean demanded of Cas. They were sitting on opposite ends of the couch, and Dean had his legs stretched out, feet up on a small black coffee table.

'Well like I said, my parents were heavily religious, my father was a preacher, and they didn't really believe in television, unless it was a televised religious event or service. When I left for college I had hoped that it would be a chance to spread my wings a bit, but my parents managed to have me room with my older brother Michael for the first two years, and I suppose after that I never really developed the habit of watching television or movies.'

'Families can be hard work sometimes,' Dean responded sympathetically, and Castiel thought a cloud passed over Dean's face for a moment, though it was gone almost instantly.

'Mine especially was hard work, Dean. But I suppose I should be grateful, many people have it worse than I did.'

Dean opened his mouth to say something, and then seemed to think better of it. Instead he smiled at Cas, and nodded. 'I guess that's true. So if you don't watch movies, and you clearly have no musical education, then what do you do for fun Cas?' Dean raised an eyebrow suggestively at the man on the end of his couch.

'Well I used to be an artist. I used to make sculptures out of reclaimed materials, and I liked to draw too. Recently though I've been experiencing a bit of a creative block. It's why I took the job at the college actually. I thought that inspiring other people to make art might help me to find some inspiration of my own, but so far nothing is sparking. So at the moment I listen to random rock cassettes for fun, and apparently I'm also about to watch movies for fun.'

Cas smiled at Dean, and Dean's heart just about stopped. It was a small, shy smile but it lit his whole face, the lines on his brow lifted, and his eyes twinkled. Dean definitely liked to see Cas happy.

'Well ok then, we should get this show on the road. Lets go make popcorn, and maybe coffee? It's a little early for beer.'

Cas nodded, 'Coffee sounds perfect', and as Dean got up to head for the kitchen, he stood and followed, marvelling again at his willingness to follow this man.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split their movie date into two chapters, but don't worry, I won't make you wait for part two!


	7. Chapter 7

Dean and Castiel were sprawled on the couch, relaxed and comfortable together, surrounded by the remnants of the things they'd consumed as they'd watched the sci-fi trilogy, pizza boxes, beer bottles, an empty foil pie dish. They'd started neatly enough on the pie with a slice each on a plate, with ice cream, but as the day had worn on, they'd shared the rest of the pie, eating it directly from it's foil tray. Castiel wanted to feed Dean pie every day for the rest of his life. The way Dean's pupils had dilated with the first bite, and the little moan of pleasure he'd made as he swallowed the forkful of apple caramel, were sending Castiel's blood to all the wrong places, and he desperately wanted to know what else would entice those noises from Dean. Other foods? A touch in the right place? Maybe a kiss?

Dean had insisted that they would start Cas's movie experiences with the classic Star Wars trilogy, saving the newer movies for another time, echoing the order he'd watched them as a younger man. It also meant that Dean had an opportunity to invite Cas around again some time in the future, which he dearly wanted to do. The movies worked out at around six hours or so of viewing time, but Dean and Castiel had sat talking together long after the credits had rolled on the last movie, and while they'd started the movie marathon sitting fairly primly at opposite ends of Dean's couch, by the end of the third movie they were sitting almost shoulder to shoulder in the middle of the couch together. Dean had his feet up on the coffee table again and Cas had his legs curled up underneath him. They had talked and laughed about all sorts of things, first about the films themselves, and then about other movies Dean believed that Cas should watch. Dean was especially effusive about the Indiana Jones Trilogy (we don't talk about the fourth movie damn it), as well as Clint Eastwood's entire back catalog. After movies they moved on to music, and Castiel thanked Dean again for the tapes. Dean promised to send more, and already seemed to have a program of musical education in mind for Cas, who was amused and occasionally baffled by the passion Dean had for the music he loved. From music they moved to Cas's art, and he showed Dean pictures of some of his pieces, taken on his phone. Dean was blown away by the beauty of Cas's work. He took everyday items and made ethereal, otherworldly sculptures which evoked lightness and peace.

Things got a little deeper when Dean asked Castiel what he thought was causing his creative block. Castiel sighed.

'I had a bad breakup. He... I...' Cas sighed again and looked down into his lap, tucking his feet closer beneath him, and Dean thought for a moment that he looked so vulnerable, all Dean wanted to do was wrap his arms around the man and protect him.

'Cas, I'm sorry, man, you don't have to talk about this if you don't want to.' Dean reached out, although he didn't need to reach far, they were still sitting close together. He turned to face Cas, curling his own feet underneath him to mirror Cas's position, and put a hand on the dark haired man's shoulder. Cas looked up, into Dean's eyes, which were full of worry.

'It's ok Dean, I'm just not too good at putting these things into words. Balthazar, he and I were happy. At least I thought we were. I had no idea there was anything wrong, until I came home early one afternoon and...' Castiel trailed off. He hadn't really talked about this with anyone, not his family, or any of the few friends he had.  He just hadn't been able to face the humiliation.  He wasn't sure he really wanted to tell Dean all the gory details, about what he'd seen that day or what had happened afterwards, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to move on until he'd talked about it, and after spending more than eight hours together he now felt incredibly comfortable with Dean. He took a breath. Dean was still watching him intently, still looking concerned, and then Cas realised that the reassuring weight of Dean's hand on his shoulder hadn't moved. He felt fortified, and resolved to be as open as he could be. He looked down into his lap again, his fingers twisting and untwisting as he willed the words to come together.

'I came home one afternoon and I heard noises from our bedroom.'

Dean sighed, he was pretty sure he knew what was coming. He squeezed Cas's shoulder, circling his thumb across Cas's collarbone.

'So I went into the bedroom to see what was happening. Balthazar was in bed. And he wasn't alone. I don't know what I expected to find when I heard the noises, but I wasn't prepared.  I think I just stared for a minute until they noticed me. He looked at me. I looked at him. He didn't even say sorry. He just turned to this man, in our bed, and told him to leave. And when he'd gone, Balthy looked at me and said, I think we should talk.'

Castiel closed his eyes. The image of Balthazar in their bed, in that moment, with that unknown man, was burned into his memory.

'He told me he was unhappy, and that he'd only done it because I wasn't there for him. I was too wrapped up in my work, and I didn't focus enough on him. He needed someone and I wasn't giving him that. It was all my fault. I knew I got wrapped up in my work, when I got into it, I could be distracted for days, and I guess in those times I wasn't much of a boyfriend. He needed more than I gave him. I should have been better.

I haven't been able to work since then. I sold a few pieces I still had in the workshop, but when the money from those sales ran out I guess the pressure piled on even more, and my creativity fled. I was broke. I miss it, I miss the feeling of being able to make my imagination come to life. But every time I try to sketch out an idea nothing happens. Things that used to fill me with ideas leave me with nothing now. I thought maybe working at the school would take the financial pressure off, and help me get back to working again. But it's not yielded results yet.  It was a year ago, and I swore I'd never even look at another man again.  I didn't exactly handle it well after he left.  I was a mess.  Still am in some ways'

He looked up at Dean again, who had listened quietly, the light circling of his thumb on Cas's collarbone had not stopped the whole time Cas was confessing his greatest secret. That he was a failure, at his work, at his relationship, at life in general, had not seemed to faze Dean.

'Cas,' Dean's voice was soft, and a little rough, 'Cas, you didn't deserve that. If he was unhappy, then ok, he was unhappy, but he should have told you, he should have talked to you. That's not the way you should have found out.' Dean's hand moved gently, from Castiel's shoulder, across the back of his neck, to wrap around the top of Cas's far shoulder. Dean pulled the other man tenderly closer to him, nestled him under his arm, and said again, softly, 'You didn't deserve that.'

Dean was careful and sweet with Cas, as he tucked him close to comfort him, but inside he was burning with anger. To mess around behind someone's back, that was a dick move. He was fuming on Cas's behalf. No one deserved that kind of treatment. He briefly considered that his response was excessively protective towards a man he'd only just met, but he couldn't help it. Cas brought out his nurturing, protective side. He felt Cas's head rest on his shoulder, and Cas's gravel voice was softer.

'It's ok Dean, I'm working through it. I just need to understand where I went wrong and how to be better next time, and I'll be ok.'

Dean pulled his arm away, and Cas almost whined at the loss of contact. But Dean didn't pull away completely. He gently gripped Cas by his shoulders, pulling the man to look at him, and ran his hands down the biceps of his friend, staring deep into those mesmerizing blue eyes.

'Cas, you weren't the one who did wrong. You love what you do, I can tell by the way you talk about it. Anyone who loves you should love you for all of you, including your passion for your work. If this guy couldn't do that, then he didn't deserve you.'

Cas's breathing hitched as he looked up into the peridot eyes gazing intently at him. He heard what Dean was saying, but it was hard to accept. It meant a way of thinking completely opposed to everything Cas had believed until now. Yet, the way Dean looked at him was compelling. He tried to think about whether Balthazar had ever looked at him like that, but his thoughts were fritzing, all he could focus on was those eyes, the feel of Dean's hands on his upper arms, how close their mouths were. His eyes flicked briefly to Dean's lips at that thought, and then back to the blond man's eyes, and unconsciously he licked his own lips. That seemed to break some kid of spell for Dean, who dropped his gaze to look down at Cas's pink, soft mouth, as he closed the small distance between them, and gently, oh so gently, placed a kiss on those lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok three parts.....


	8. Chapter 8

Dean's eyes fluttered closed for a moment as he pressed the gentlest of kisses to the lips of the man sitting opposite him. Darkness was falling outside, and inside, the only light was from the muted television, which flickered blue across the skin of the two men, as their lips brushed. Dean pulled back and looked into Castiel's eyes, which reflected the flickering light, and were now wide with what appeared to be shock. Crap. He'd screwed up. Son of a bitch. He'd said he hadn't looked at another man since, did that mean Dean? Was that a subtle hint Dean totally missed? Cas was going to freak. He looked like he was about to freak. Shit, shit, shit.

'Cas, I'm sorry, I never should have...' was all Dean managed to express before Cas brought their lips together again. Cas's hands reached up and skimmed the shape of Dean's shoulders and biceps, down his forearms, and Dean released Cas's arms and tangled his fingers through those of the man who's lips pressed firmly to his. Cas kissed him sweetly, once, twice, and then Dean felt a warm tongue flick across his bottom lip, nudging him into opening up. As he opened his lips to Castiel, the kiss deepened, Cas explored his mouth, and Dean ventured his tongue into Cas's mouth in turn, which elicited a happy sigh from the dark haired man. Dean could feel stubble rasping across his chin, and suddenly loved that feeling. He released one of Cas's hands to reach up and caress his face, wanting to know more of the man who was kissing him. He brushed his fingers across smooth cheek and felt Cas tilt his head softly into his palm. Dean ran his hand across Cas's jaw, feeling the rasp of stubble, and snaked his hand around to the nape of Cas's neck, tilting his head back as he leaned closer over the man, eager to discover more places where their bodies complemented each other.

Cas was falling. Tumbling. He'd never meant for this to happen but now his willpower was gone, Elvis had left the building. When Dean had pressed his lips to Cas's a thousand thoughts had screamed through his mind, telling him to stop, he'd only get hurt, his heart was going to be smashed to pieces again. But the screaming was drowned out by a small voice, in a dark forgotten corner of his heart, which simply breathed one word. Yes. As Dean began to apologize, the voice got a little louder, and when Cas couldn't resist it any more he simply obeyed. Kissing Dean was the only thing he could do, the only thought he could sustain, and it was beautiful. As his tongue explored this strange, new mouth, he tasted pie and beer and popcorn and something else, something that was simply Dean. He had pressed the kiss deeper, but when Dean had encouraged his head back and moved his powerful body over him, Cas had willingly submitted. Their kiss moved from sweet and exploratory to something deeper still, a passion began to build, stoked when Castiel ran his free hand around Dean's waist and up his back, taking in the blond man's firm, muscular build. He tugged Dean closer still and the taller man was now pressed against Cas, who automatically moved underneath Dean to accommodate his long figure, spreading his legs slightly and angling his hips so that they were better aligned along the couch. This seemed to have a searing impact on Dean, who kissed him harder and released Cas's other hand to run his own down Cas's torso, pausing at his waist for a moment, before slipping a hand under the hem of his shirt and t-shirt to graze the skin of Cas's hip.

Cas gasped, breaking their kiss as he threw his head back further still, wrapping his arm around Dean's shoulders, Dean's hand still in his hair. Dean took the opportunity to mouth soft wet kisses along that stubble covered jawline and down Castiel's exposed throat, as his thumb made circle motions at the top of Cas's hip bone. Both men could feel the power of the moment, they were pressed so close together that their arousal was unmistakable, and as Dean canted his hips slightly, he pressed into Cas and their cocks brushed, beginning to strain against the layers of fabric between them. Cas whimpered slightly, the physical sensation was almost overwhelming and they were both still fully clothed. Dean was still paying generous attention to kissing every inch of Cas's neck and a particularly sensitive spot right behind Cas's earlobe saw Cas's whole body twitch up, eliciting a small groan from Dean at the delicious friction between them.

But then Dean's thoughts seemed to clear, he sucked a gentle kiss at the point where Cas's jaw met his earlobe, and pulled back to look into the eyes of the man beneath him. Blue, like the ocean, but blown wide, just tiny rings of colour around an oasis of black pupil gazed back up at him. Castiel's pink lips were moist, swollen, almost bruised looking from their kisses, and Cas's messy hair was just the right side of bed head sexy. Cas was a little short of breath as Dean looked down at him, and Dean noted that he was breathing a little harder too.

'Cas, I... I...' Dean panted a little and found that he had no idea what he was trying to tell the man trapped beneath his body. He rubbed his hand across his face and through his hair, trying to gather his thoughts through the fog of lust which was currently filling his brain.

'Dean?'

'Cas, I... wow, I didn't mean to just jump on you like that. I never meant to, I, uh, crap. Sorry, I'm not good at this.'

Dean groaned and lifted himself back up into a seating position, and Castiel followed, suddenly worried. Had he pushed the other man too far? What had he done wrong?

'Dean, what's wrong?'

'I'm sorry Cas, I never meant to do that. I don't want you to think that you telling me all that stuff, which I know must have been hard, I don't want you to think I'm just jumping on you because you're vulnerable or something. You said you weren't looking at guys and I want to respect that, I do, and I don't want to hurt you. But I like you Cas. I've had fun today, I'd really like to do it again. I just can't take advantage of you after you just spilled your guts to me like that. If you want us to spend more time together, I'm down for that, and whatever might happen, well, I want it to be at your pace.'

Castiel cycled through worry and horror and then comprehension as Dean made his impromptu speech. Oh. Oh... Dean was worried about him, he liked him, he didn't want to take advantage of him. He wanted to spend time with him. Oh. That little breathy voice inside Castiel's heart broke into song. Cas smiled at Dean.

'You want us to spend more time together?' Cas asked, positioning himself close to Dean again, side by side on the couch.

'Uh, yeah I do. Is that ok? Do you?' Dean wavered slightly. That was what Cas had got from that sentence? Not the apology, or the point about his vulnerability, but the wanting to see him again. Huh.

'Yes. Yes it's ok, I'd like that too. And thank you, I appreciate it. Your efforts to not take advantage of me are very noble.'

Dean turned a little pink. 'I'm not noble, just not an asshole', he huffed a little, wondering if Cas was mocking him.

Cas noticed the huff, understood that Dean thought he was being sarcastic, and moved to sooth the man who was doing an excellent impression of Cas when he made his confession, head down, hands twisting.

'No, truly Dean, it means a lot that you would think that way. It took me a long time to get over Balthazar, and I guess if my creativity isn't back then maybe I'm not really over it. I just don't want to get hurt again, I don't know if I'm ready for that.' Cas reached into Dean's lap and took Dean's hand again, rubbing his thumb across the taller man's knuckle. It was a strong hand, calloused in places, ink stained too. But Cas already knew it to be gentle as well as powerful.

Dean's breath caught slightly as he felt the brush of thumb across his knuckles. He looked at Cas who was looking down at their paired hands.  Boy, this ex had done a number on Cas's self esteem. Dean resolved to make Cas believe in himself, care for himself again. Cas looked up at Dean and smiled softly.  

'It's the same way any decent guy who cares about someone would think, Cas. I try to be a decent guy. I can't promise you anything but I'll try not to hurt you.'

'I'll take your word for it Dean. Thank you. I should probably head home, it's getting late.'

'You don't have to leave Cas, you can be here as long as you want. Tomorrow's Sunday, all I do is sleep and grade papers, and eat breakfast food. There's no rush to go to bed.'

If he was honest, Dean didn't want the sweet, bed headed man sitting next to him to ever leave his apartment. He knew after just one day together that it would feel different without him here. It seemed Cas wasn't in any rush to go back to his lonely apartment either, as he smiled and relaxed against Dean's side.

Maybe I can stay a little while longer...' Cas almost whispered, doubtfully. Dean responded by tucking an arm around him, and murmuring into his hair,

'We have so many movies you need to watch. You can't leave now, we're just getting started.'

~ ~ ~

Dean groaned, and looked over at the flickering television screen, which was cycling through the DVD menu for a spaghetti western, one of his favourites. He must have fallen asleep on the couch again. Then he discovered that there was a soft weight snoring sweetly on his chest, and he smiled. Slowly, so as not to disturb Cas, he untangled his arm and checked his watch. 2.47am. Time for bed definitely. No way he was going to make Cas drive home now.  He ran his hand gently over the adorably snuffling head on his chest, and whispered to Cas to wake him up.

'Come on sleepy, let's hit the hay.'

Cas murmured for a moment, but as Dean shifted he lifted his head a little and blinked at Dean.

'Come on baby, let's go sleep somewhere more comfortable.' Cas grumbled, but sat up and Dean untangled himself and stood, turning the TV off with the remote. He reached out in the dark for Cas, and finding his hands, pulled him to his feet also. He led Cas through the hall, flicked on the bathroom light and nudged Cas inside, digging out a spare toothbrush for him. As Cas did what he needed in the bathroom, Dean dug out a pair of soft sweats and a t-shirt for Cas, dropping them outside the bathroom door, and padding back to his room to change.

Cas ambled in to his bedroom a few moments later, all changed for bed, looking a little bewildered and rubbing one eye. Dean pulled down the bed covers, indicating to Cas to climb in, while Dean hit the bathroom too. Once they were both under the sheets Dean reached over to Cas, petting the messy hair now contrasted against his white pillow case.

'We'll take it slow as you need Cas, I just want to spend time with you. I won't try anything here tonight, or at all, unless you want me to.  If you just want a friend, that's what I'll be, I promise.' It would be difficult, Dean was already starting to care for this man, but he would do it.  Cas deserved a better man than he'd experienced in the past.  Dean could be that man, and he would not demand anything more than friendship in return.  He wanted to show this man that there were good people in the world, and he especially wanted this gorgeous man to believe in himself, to see in himself the beauty Dean saw. 

Cas smiled sleepily at Dean and nodded, and his eyes started to flicker shut again. Dean thought that was just frigging adorable, but didn't say a word, just rolled over and turned off his lamp, settling down to go back to sleep. As he felt a warm body press against him and an arm wrap around his waist though, he allowed himself to hope that just maybe, there was something more than friendship in his future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The previous three chapters were meant to be one, but I guess I got carried away. i have at least another five chapters of story to bring it all together, maybe more. But I know where I'm going so, look out for regular updates! Thank you so much for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

'So Dean, you seem kind of obsessed with pie, if you don't mind me saying?'

Dean and Cas were having dinner at a local diner. Dean had watched in amusement as Cas had devoured a cheeseburger like it was his last meal, making happy little eating noises which made Dean's blood flow south way too fast. But now Dean was making remarkably similar noises over his cherry pie. 

'Hey, don't come between a man and his pie. It's just not right.'

Cas laughed, 'I wouldn't dare, I see how you look at that pie.'

'Jealous Cas?' Dean cocked an eyebrow and gave the scruffy haired man opposite him a seductive look over the forkful of fruit and pastry. As his tongue came out to lick crumbs of pastry off the edge of the fork, Cas zeroed in on wet tongue and pink lips, and almost whimpered. He could feel the heat flooding his cheeks, and at that moment all he wanted was to be that pie, to feel that tongue flick across his skin, to be the sole focus of Dean's attention. Lord, what was his brain doing? It dawned on him that it probably wasn't his brain doing the thinking here. But Dean was now observing him with great interest, which made his flush even worse. He knew the effect his behaviour was having on Cas and he was exploiting it for all it was worth. That rat bastard. Castiel loved it.

When Castiel spoke his voice sounded an octave lower in his head, and he resisted the urge to clear his throat. He gathered himself and smirked across the table, trying to sound commanding. 

'Eat your pie, Mr Winchester. You shouldn't play with your food.'

At the sound of Cas's gruff voice, calling him by his last name, Dean's face turned a similar shade of pink, his breathing sped up and he suddenly focused hard on the pie. Cas got to stare at his green eyed friend for a moment, and gathered that he was struggling to keep himself under control just as much as Cas was. Cas swallowed, considered for a second, ran his hand through already messy hair, and then reached across the table. 

'Dean?' 

Dean looked up, and hummed, as Cas lightly touched his hand.

'You wanna get that pie to go?' Cas's voice was grit and gravel and ground. 

'You.. uh... You wanna go Cas?' The dials clicked in Dean's mind for a second, as Cas licked his dry lips, looking at Dean from under dark lashes, and then understanding dawned. Holy shit. Dean waved down a waitress and got a box for his pie in record time. They paid the check and Dean almost dragged Cas out of the diner. They were into October now, and the evening air was cool. They piled into the Impala and Dean looked over from the driving seat, levelling a stare at Castiel which seemed to ask a hundred questions, although Dean spoke only one out loud.

'Your place or mine?' 

In the past six weeks they'd pretty much split the time they spent together equally between both places. Their relationship hadn't really progressed much beyond what happened that first night together, but there had been a few very charged moments where Dean had felt it could have gone further. He'd backed off for Cas, he had been careful not to push him further than he was ready for. But the way Cas had looked at him over the pie just now, made Dean think that maybe the status quo was about to change.

'Mine is closer,' rasped Cas, and wow, that voice did crazy things to Dean.

'Your place it is then.' Dean put his foot down.


	10. Chapter 10

Castiel unlocked his front door, his hands trembling slightly with excitement. He got the door open finally, and Dean followed him through it. Almost as soon as the door closed, Cas rounded on Dean, his eyes flashing.

'Do you have any idea what you do to me?'

Dean smirked, cocky to the end. 'Maybe you can show me?'

Cas groaned and fisted Dean's well loved leather jacket, pulling him close, feeling hot breath on his face, sweet like pie. He looked up into intense green eyes, Dean wasn't smirking any more. Cas had never been this aggressive before, and it was hitting all of his buttons. As soft lips pressed against Dean's ready mouth, Dean had to hold back his own groan. A warm, moist tongue pressed through Dean's lips, opening his mouth, slipping inside, as a strong body was pressed against him, pushing him up against the door. Dean finally caught up and kissed back, running his hands around lithe firm hips, skimming his thumbs under the burgundy shirt to explore smooth skin beneath. Cas's breath caught, and he moved his lips from Dean's mouth, to trace along a stubbled jaw, sucking gently, leaving a trail of heat and moisture, nibbling his way to Dean's earlobe, nuzzled behind it and trailing down his throat. Dean threw his head back and groaned out loud this time.

'Cas,' his voice was already broken, and Cas just continued, enjoying his exploration of Dean's collar bone. Dean tried again.

'Cas, can we, uh, move this party somewhere more comfortable? That feels incredible, but ah, haah, can we ahhh...'

'Bedroom.' Cas spit the word out in a growl.

'You, ah, you sure?'

Castiel didn't answer, he just took Dean by the hand and towed him to his bedroom. He had a flash of the the first time he'd brought one of Dean's tapes home, recalling his late night fantasies, and wondered if they were about to come true. As his knees almost wobbled at the thought of it, he flicked on the lamp in his small bedroom, and turned to face Dean, who had an odd look on his face. Was he freaking out?

'Dean?'

'You didn't answer me Cas, you sure about this?'

Dean looked concerned, standing firm in his resolve not to do anything too fast, but Cas had made his mind up, he was done with holding back.

'Yes Dean, I'm sure.'

Dean looked down into ocean deep blue eyes, a flush across smooth cheeks, and a jawline set in determination.

'Well ok then, like I said Cas, at your speed.'

Cas nodded and reached up to kiss the man, threading fingers through blond hair at the nape of his neck, tugging to move those lips closed to his own. He snaked his other hand around Dean's waist, and under his t-shirt, feeling the muscles of his lower back ripple under warm smooth skin. Dean ran his hands down strong arms and skimmed to place his hands back on Cas's waist, until he discovered that by doing so he was obstructing Cas's efforts to pull his t-shirt off over his head, which he seriously didn't want to interrupt.  He hummed a soft laugh against soft pink lips, and lifted his arms up to accommodate Cas's ministrations. Their kiss broke and Dean took the opportunity to work on the buttons on Cas's shirt, until Cas trapped his head in his t-shirt, and he couldn't see what he was doing anymore.  More to the point he couldn't see what Cas was doing, and so the tongue on his exposed nipple was a warm thrill, producing goosebumps across his chest and along his arms, still tangled in his shirt. As Cas released his hold on the shirt to scratch sharp fingernails down his chest, Dean took over the clothing duty and pulled his shirt off his head, dropping it softly to the floor.

Cas paused to take in the man standing before him. He was more beautiful in life than anything his imagination had ever been able to conjure, and it left Cas breathless. Dean looked powerful and vulnerable all at once, the way his shoulder and pectoral muscles were defined and moved in the soft light of the bedroom lamp as he lowered his arms hinted at the strength bound up in his chest, but the way he looked at Castiel was exposed and raw, open. He stood before Castiel, meeting his eyes, waiting, silently reminding the other man of his promise to let him set the pace.

Cas finished unbuttoning his own shirt, and pulled it off, dropping it to the floor too, as Dean's eyes widened, sweeping over Cas's upper body. Cas could hear the click of Dean's throat and tracked the movement of his adam's apple as he swallowed, hard. His breathing sped up slightly, and his fingers twitched but the blond man didn't move from his position.

Cas reached out, pulling Dean closer, the touch of skin on skin as their chests met was searing. The touch ignited something in both of them, and suddenly they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Castiel crowded Dean towards the bed as their hands explored new expanses of skin. Dean felt the bed on the back of his legs and when Cas didn't stop pressing, sat down with a bounce, Cas almost falling on top of him, braced at the last moment on Dean's shoulders, and managed to stay upright, both men laughing. Their new position gave Dean new areas to explore, and he did so with his tongue, and his hands, tracing the shape of Cas's ribcage and then working lower, fluttering kisses across an expanse of smooth navel, chancing a small lick into Cas's bellybutton, which earned him a gasp and a wriggle.

Dean gave a low chuckle, 'You're ticklish huh?'

Cas just whimpered, as Dean resumed his exploration lower, sucking kisses below Cas's bellybutton, across sharp hipbones he couldn't resist nibbling, which must have felt pretty good, the fingers now wound through Dean's hair tightened, and Dean hummed at the satisfying tug on his scalp.

Dean found his way blocked by the waistband of Cas's snug jeans. He reached out long fingers to make way, pausing to look up at the blue eyes watching him, to make sure.  He wanted to make this so good for this angel in front of him.  He curled his fingers around a black leather belt as he gazed beneath heavy lidded eyes, for confirmation that he wasn't going too far. Cas looked down, flushed, and nodded. Dean wasted no more time. Unbuckling the leather belt and unbuttoning the jeans, Dean slid his hands down under the waistband, splaying his fingers, his thumbs meeting in the middle at the top of a fine trail of hair leading down into the waistband of dark jockey shorts, and onwards to a place Dean was keen to explore, soon. He smoothed strong, calloused hands around from hipbone to the top of a perfect ass, easing the jeans off his man's hips, running his hands over that firm curve and down, flickering his fingers over the back of Cas's knees, which encouraged an honest to god giggle from Cas. Dean filed that away for future reference, as he ran his hands down, pooling Cas's jeans, as he eased off Cas's shoes and socks, and then tugged off the jeans and tossed them on the floor.

As he looked up again, he nosed along the inside of Cas's thigh, taking in his spicy heady scent and nibbling occasionally until his nose brushed the jockey fabric, which was doing a poor job of hiding a rock hard cock. Dean wanted to taste, but he wasn't going to make Cas stand any more. He stood, gripped Cas around his hips and lifted him. Gasping, Cas wrapped his body instinctively around Dean's and kissed him deeply, Dean turned, moved to the end of the bed and laid Cas down carefully, breathing hard. Pressed together, they were both painfully aroused.

'Gonna make it so good for you Cas, so good.'  Dean crooned hot breathy promises into the blue eyed man's ear as he caught his breath.

'Too. Many. Clothes,' Cas ground out between breaths.  Dean shot off the bed, and shucked his shoes and jeans like he was following orders. As soon as his socks hit the floor he crawled back onto the bed, nibbling at Cas's ankle, and then licking and biting up the inside of his calf, made his way up the stunning body laid out below him, listening to and cataloguing the sighs and moans he heard as he hit sweet spots.  Dean made his way further, up the inside of Cas's thigh, licking and tasting every inch he could get his lips and tongue to. Cas was almost writhing beneath him, Dean was taking what seemed like hours to explore, and between dizzying nibbles Cas found himself thinking that no one had ever revered him like this.  It felt like worship, like prayer.

Cas's arousal was aching, leaking, and his jockeys were damp with sweat and precum, and then with Dean's saliva as he mouthed his way along Cas's erection, hooking his fingers over the elastic waistband and then pulling gently, smoothly, to free Cas's rock hard cock.  The cool air on his groin made Cas shiver, and then he moaned as he felt the hot flat of Dean's tongue lick a stripe up the shaft of Cas's cock. In one second all of Castiel's fantasies came true, and were instantly disintegrated at the same time. Nothing Cas had ever imagined could ever have been as incredible as this feeling. Dean gripped his hips firmly and licked again, loving the way Cas writhed and wriggled beneath him, head thrown back, hands making fists of the comforter they were lying on. As Cas struggled to breathe, Dean took Cas's cock into his mouth, flicking his tongue around it's head, and underneath, over the sensitive cluster of nerves there, making Cas gasp out his name, which drove Dean crazy. He pulled off for a second to look up, check on Cas and catch his own breath. He gazed along the bed at Cas, and murmured to the man lying wrecked below him.

'You ok Cas?'

Cas nodded, and finally seemed to breathe, 'please.... Dean...' That seemed to be all he could express, and Dean smiled, applying himself again to the task in front of him. He studied Cas's cock for a moment, he had not been disappointed when he'd first seen it. It was long, thick, and the head was a deep blush pink colour, he knew it would feel full and heavy in his mouth. He reached out and flicked his tongue over that swollen head, and then swallowed Cas down again, earning himself another gratifying gasp. He sucked rhythmically, using his hand when his mouth didn't reach far enough, listening hard for the sounds which told him what felt good, noting what made his man merely happy, and what made him lose all control, editing his technique to bring out what were fast becoming his favourite sounds from Cas, until Cas's breaths sounded more like sobs and he began to jerk under Dean's hands.

'Dean, I'm... Oh... I'm going to...'

Dean groaned around Cas, the sound vibrating around him, and that tipped Cas over the edge, as his world fractured for a second. Waves of pleasure flowed through him as he emptied into Dean's hot wet mouth, and when he finished Cas felt wrung out and blissful. Dean swallowed everything that Cas gave him, and when Cas was done he released him gently, kissing his way back up Cas's chest , until he captured that soft pink mouth again, wrapping his arms around Cas. Cas could taste himself as he licked into Dean's mouth and that was dizzying.

Cas lay still for a moment, seeing stars, but as the other man's body moved over his, the press of his erection into Cas's hip lifted him from his reverie. He stretched languidly, wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him over onto his back, surprising Dean, who was happy to curl up and drift away, his job well done, and instead was now lying beneath the hottest man he'd ever met. Cas had just been thoroughly worshipped though and he wanted to do the same.

'Cas, you don't have to, ahh... mnph...'

Dean trailed off as Cas nibbled at his nipple again, alternately using his tongue and teeth to make the pink nub stand proud and sensitive. When he was satisfied with his efforts he moved on to the other nipple, lavishing it with equal attention. Dean just groaned, he had no idea his own nipples were so sensitive, no one had ever lavished such attention on them. Cas used the flat of his tongue to sooth the sensitivity, and continued on his journey down Dean's glorious torso. All Dean could think about was the effect Cas's mouth had had on his nipples, combined with the general direction he was now sucking and nibbling, and Dean's brain checked out. All he could do now was feel. Cas felt Dean relax into his touch and smiled, smoothing warm wide hands across Dean's stomach, feeling the rise and fall of abdominal muscles and the heat rolling off Dean's body.

Cas couldn't resist, as he crept lower, ever lower, nibbling and nipping at Dean's skin, everywhere he saw a golden freckle. And they were everywhere, speckled over Dean's skin. Dean couldn't figure out how Cas was choosing his path, it seemed random, which was thrilling, he couldn't tell where lips and tongue and teeth were going to fall next. But Dean wasn't sure how much longer he could take this, he wasn't a patient man at the best of times and he'd been thinking about this for weeks, in showers, and late at night in bed.

'Cas... ahhh...' he ground out through heavy breaths, 'you're driving me crazy... feels so good... want you so much... please?' The last word trailed into a cry as Cas bit down gently on the inside of Dean's thigh, his nose now buried into Dean's crotch. He grinned as he heard the need in Dean's voice, his cocky confident man reduced to a quivering begging mess beneath him. He decided not to tease him any more, hooking his fingers into the waistband of Dean's tight black shorts. He pulled gently and Dean lifted his hips to smooth the way. He wriggled the shorts down Dean's firm thighs, over his calf muscles, following with wet kisses. Finally he dropped the shorts on the floor, and kissed his way back up, hearing Dean's breathing stutter as Cas reached his destination. He reached out his tongue and lapped at the precum beading at the head of Dean's perfect cock. He was a little bigger than Cas, Cas thought, but perfectly formed, and irresistible. As he took Dean into his mouth Dean let out the most glorious breathy whine, and Cas resolved to do whatever he could to make Dean make that noise for the rest of his days. He sucked Dean down, as far as he could, which turned out to be pretty far, and Dean honest to god yelped as he felt the head of his incredibly sensitive cock hit the back of Cas's throat, sending Dean's thoughts haywire.

Cas used his lips and tongue, hollowed his cheeks, pulled out every amazing move he had, determined to make Dean see the same stars he'd seen. And his moves seemed to be working, he could feel Dean twitching and rolling beneath him, clearly trying to restrain himself from fucking into Cas's mouth. Cas loved it, loved that he had such power over this man. He sped up a little and ran one hand from Dean's hip to cup his balls, tugging them gently before slipping a finger back to swirl a caress around the opening of Dean's hole. At that touch Dean, went wild, and cried out to Cas, to try and warn him of what was about to happen. Cas swallowed, continuing the circling motion with his finger, and that was it, Dean's orgasm exploded through him, and flooding the back of Cas's throat with what seemed like years worth of pent up sexual frustration. Cas swallowed and swallowed, and then released Dean with a wet pop. He smiled and crawled his way back up Dean's now limp and pliant body, feeling strong arms wrap around him as he settled at Dean's side, nestling into the sleepy man.

'Cas, that was... wow.' he smiled sleepily at blue eyes and dark hair, as Cas smiled back.

'That was ok?'

'What do you think Cas? I think you broke me.'

Cas laughed softly at the man sprawled next to him, who looked thoroughly fucked and debauched, still panting. His hair was every which way, a sheen of sweat over his skin. His eyes were blown wide, lips full and wet, face flushed, which made his freckles stand out more than ever. His flush continued down that sculpted chest, and Cas just couldn't look any lower, he wasn't a teenager any more, and he would just drive himself crazy with looking, because good god the man was beautiful, every inch of him.

'I know the feeling Dean.' He flashed a grin at Dean, who smiled shyly back. All of a sudden they both felt a little self conscious. Cas gazed at Dean, his own mind still spinning, both at the way Dean had worshipped him, and the sounds he'd wrung out of this incredible man, and suddenly he didn't want Dean to leave.  He opened his mouth to ask, closed it again and then opened his mouth again.  He'd given the man incredible oral sex, he could ask him this.

'Will you stay?' Cas asked hesitantly.

Dean had secretly hoped that Cas wouldn't want him to leave, he didn't want this to be that kind of night, that kind of sex, that kind of relationship.  He gazed back at that intense stare, and said simply, 

'If you'll have me, I'll stay.'

Cas sighed happily, and tugged a blanket over them both.  He curled into Dean's waiting arms, and they drifted away amid soft touches and kisses.


	11. Chapter 11

Dean blinked his eyes open, to unfamiliar surroundings. The light falling through the curtains was weak, it must still be early. As he moved to roll over he realized his limbs were tangled up in someone else's and he froze for a second before his head cleared of the sleep fog, and he remembered where he was. He took a moment to closely examine the features of the man slumbering next to him in the feeble early morning light. Those arresting blue eyes were closed but his face was still stunning. In sleep, all of Castiel's frown lines were soft and the firm jaw was now covered with dark stubble. The soft lips which had driven Dean almost crazy the previous night were now relaxed, plump and pink. Cas was perfect, and in sleep he had an innocent, vulnerable quality.

Dean's thoughts drifted back to the night before. There was no doubt that he and Cas had been getting closer, and he had deeply hoped their friendship would turn into something more, even though he'd kept his word and let Cas take the lead on that. It seemed clear now though, that there was something more. This would be the second time they woke up together, and even though nothing serious had happened that first time, they definitely couldn't say that now. Their relationship was definitely moving forward. Dean just hoped that this wasn't some kind of physical only rebound relationship for Cas, because Dean was finding himself coming to care deeply for the guy. Which was a new, but not unwelcome feeling, although it unnerved Dean a little. Was it time to face up to who he really was? He was still mulling things over as he drifted back to sleep, unconsciously snuggling closer to Cas, who slept on oblivious to Dean's existential mental wrestling.

When Cas opened his eyes, much later, he discovered that Dean's green eyes were flecked through with gold, and framed with long lashes that were heart stopping in the morning light. They were also staring directly into his. He didn't move for a moment, waiting to see what the other man would do, and then remembered Dean's promise the previous night.

_'Ok, everything at my speed. What is my speed?'_ Cas wondered to himself, still mesmerized by the eyes staring deep into him. He smiled softly at Dean, who's eyes crinkled into what must also have been a smile, if Cas had been able to break his gaze to look at the rest of Dean's face. Castiel reached up a hand, running his fingers softly along the line of Dean's jaw, and pulled Dean closer, closing the gap between them and kissing those plush lips.

'Good morning Dean.'

'Hey Cas, did you sleep well?'

'I did, thank you, did you?'

'Yeah, yeah I really did.'

Cas smiled and kissed Dean again, loving the feeling of warm lips, limbs wrapped around him, simple happiness flowing through him.

'Do we have to move? I could stay here all day, how about you?' Dean mumbled into Cas's hair as Cas rested his head on Dean's chest, just as a growl of hunger from Dean's stomach made it's feelings known on the subject.

'Well that depends Dean, do you intend to have breakfast, or, well, lunch, delivered to our bed?' Cas squinted at the clock on his nightstand and was surprised to find they'd slept til almost noon.

'Good point Cas, do you have any food in the house?, Lets go see shall we?'

Dean dropped another kiss on Cas's warm lips, before gently untangling himself and rolling out of bed. After a moment Cas followed.

Once Cas's coffee machine was burbling, Dean rummaged through the fridge, and Cas watched, marvelling at how comfortable he felt having this man moving about his kitchen. Eggs, bacon, sausage and bread appeared on the counter, and Dean started looking for pans and dishes. Cas suggested the cupboard next to the cooker, and Dean looked up sheepishly, as he suddenly noticed that he was just helping himself and taking over the kitchen.

'Ahh, sorry Cas, it's Sunday, I cook breakfast, it's a habit I got into with Sammy years ago, I didn't mean to take over your kitchen. I can get out of the way if you like?'

Cas just smiled, if Dean wanted to feed him then that was wonderful as far as he was concerned, but he couldn't resist teasing the other man just a little, and so he wandered over, angling himself between Dean and the cooker and gazed up at him, trying hard to pull together a grumpy expression. He got as far as, 'Well, Dean, this is my kitchen, talk about taking liberties...' before he started giggling and he couldn't do it, he couldn't tease this sweet man who suddenly looked like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

He reached out, slipping his hands around Dean's waist and planted a kiss on his lips.

'I was joking, if you want to help yourself to my kitchen, be my guest. Nothing here is off limits.'

Dean grinned as he set down the pan he'd been holding to free his hand to get a better grip on the man in front of him, and kissed him back.

'You shouldn't tease me you know, I might have to get revenge...'

Cas just grinned and stepped closer, kissing Dean again, sucking on his bottom lip, causing a sharp intake of breath.

'Hey, Cas,' Dean's voice was thick with want, 'When you say nothing is off limits, you mean nothing, at all?'

Cas arched an eyebrow, and smirked at Dean.

'If it's in this kitchen, you can have it for breakfast.'

Cas's fingers were walking patterns up and down the skin of Dean's back under his t-shirt.

'If you keep saying things like that, we're not going to make it to breakfast.' Dean almost growled at Cas, as the soft pads of his fingertips became sharp fingernails, scratching gently on Dean's skin, just above the waistband of the boxer shorts he'd thrown on, on his way to the kitchen earlier. Cas held Dean's gaze, watching the pupils blow wide as Dean's breath caught, and then, just as he thought his efforts were going to pay off, that Dean was going to drag him back to bed, cave man style, Dean's stomach gurgled and protested loudly, making them both sputter with laughter. Cas laid a soft kiss on Dean's lips, and disentangled himself, secretly loving the groan coming from the other man as he stepped away.

'Food first, then, well, then we'll see what happens next.'

Cas perched on the kitchen table to watch as Dean swallowed and nodded, composed himself a little, and then went back to the process of cooking breakfast. While he cooked they chatted in an easy way, Dean talked about his brother Sammy, and his ridiculous healthy eating habits, 'no bacon, can you believe it? And egg white only omelets. It's crap,' and they talked about college, some of the kids in Castiel's class had been taught by Dean in the past, so he shared tips on how to manage them. Breakfast when served was a feast, and it was clear that Dean was a competent cook.

Dean looked up from his almost empty plate and smiled at Cas, who had applied himself to the mound of food with vigour, and felt his heart tighten a little. This was so domesticated, so simple and yet it made Dean so happy.

'So, Cas, do you think you'd like to do this again sometime?'

Cas looked up at Dean who was smiling nervously at him.

'You mean breakfast? You do make an excellent breakfast, feel free to pop round and help yourself to the contents of my kitchen any time. Or did you mean the sex?'

Wow, the man was blunt, Dean looked shocked, until he saw the sparkle in the blue eyes opposite him and spluttered laughter, laughing harder still when Cas joined in. They were past the position of shyness, he guessed, and so he figured he'd just have to match that bluntness with some of his own.

'Yeah, smart ass, the sex. I don't have any frame of reference for your cooking yet, so jury's out on the breakfast thing. It is your turn next after all.'

Cas stopped laughing and aimed a look at Dean which made fire pool in his belly, he looked like he was about to eat Dean, and well, Dean was down with that plan.

'I'm not done with this breakfast yet, I still have room for dessert, if you'd like to share?' Cas's voice had dropped into that husky, gravelly range which did incredible things to Dean, who wondered where this whole discussion was going.

With one hand Cas picked up the left over cherry pie from last night, the pie which had caused them to be here in the first place, and with the other he took Dean's hand, pulling firmly, to get him to follow. Dean looked from the man to the pie, and back again. He had a pretty clear idea of what was about to happen and it felt like Christmas had come early. As Cas led him to the bedroom, placed the pie on the nightstand, and pulled his t-shirt off over his head, Dean breathed in Cas's ear.

'Yeah Cas, I can share. But only the pie. I don't share anything else, you get me?'

Cas nodded, understanding passing between them. Without any awkwardness, or any big, seriously uncomfortable talks, they both knew that this was it for them, the only person for them, now, was the other. That damn pie had broken down Cas's walls, gotten them into bed together, and helped them both to understand where the other stood, solidifying what they thought, hoped, they might have, into something defined and reassuring. It was a remarkably talented dessert. Cas wondered if it could also get Dean to make some more of those glorious noises he'd made the night before. He was beginning to see why Dean was so obsessed with pie.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean was conducting office hours when there was a tap at his open door. He looked up to see Cas hovering in his doorway, dressed for the workshop, in an old denim button down shirt and cargo pants, sleeves rolled up and dust in his hair, and Dean added that to the list of things that he thought were just adorable. Cas had taken to popping into Dean's office for a coffee once his classes were finished. While their class schedules were similar, their office hours were out of sync, which gave Cas the chance to hang out in one of his new favourite places, unless Dean was with a student. It was becoming a habit both of them enjoyed.

'Hey Cas, nice to see you're still in one piece. Everyone else make it through without serious injury?'

Today had been scheduled as a day of hands on work for his Tuesday class, and when they'd been texting last night, Cas had confessed that he was worried something might go wrong, and worse, that he might be blamed for it, he apparently always worried about practical classes. Cas knew it was an irrational fear, the class was made up of mostly grown adults, but still, drills and jigsaw cutters inevitably came with risks. Dean had tried to reassure him, but he still hoped for Cas's sake that nothing too dramatic had happened.

'We had a few splinters and a cut finger, despite my many warnings, but we only troubled the first aid kit, not the medical center, so for that I can be thankful. Less paperwork, you know? How's your day going?' Cas looked around the office, which reflected Dean's personality almost as much as his home did. There were projects from past students, and pictures of former classes, as well as the ubiquitous picture of Dean and his brother, along with a shot of a much younger Dean standing, grinning, between a bearded guy in a soft hat, and a small red headed girl throwing a peace sign. A smaller cousin of the coffee machine which held pride of place in Dean's kitchen sat on a shelf by the window, with a small fridge beneath it. Everywhere there were books, engineering manuals, math books, fiction books, all kinds. Dean was sitting behind a desk, leaning back in his chair, surrounded by paperwork and files.

'Well I'd call that a win Cas, no one died, no one got fired, call it a success and move on. It's been pretty relaxed here, they don't normally panic this early in the semester, so, all quiet. You want some coffee?'

'Sure, I'll get it, stay put, I'm up.' Cas poured them both coffee, handing Dean's over black, loving that he knew how the man took his coffee. He doctored his own with cream and sugar, and settled down in the chair opposite Dean. They were comfortably chatting about their respective mornings when a whirlwind of blonde hair barged into Dean's office without even spotting Castiel. She threw a sheaf of papers down on Dean's desk and started waving her hands wildly as she spoke.

'Hey Dean, look, this assignment, it doesn't make sense. I can't figure out how you think...' Jo trailed off as she spotted Cas rising from the chair she was moving towards.

'Whoops! Sorry to interrupt guys, we can do this another time, I'll catch you later Dean!', Jo gave Dean a meaningful look, grabbed her papers back, and barrelled out out just as quickly as she'd come in, leaving Castiel baffled and Dean just sighing, not even giving either man time to tell her to stay.

'Crap', Dean scrubbed his face with his hands, and looked up at Castiel. 'I'm never going to hear the end of this now.'

Castiel, a little confused, looked expectantly at Dean to expand on his comments. Dean noticed those blue eyes staring at him, looking lost.

'I've known Jo and her mom for years, her dad and mine used to work together. She's been obsessing over you since I sent her down to you with that first tape.'

'Obsessing over me? She's going to be disappointed, she's not really my type.' He smirked at Dean, who sniggered a little, trying to imagine a universe where Jo and Castiel could be together. A match made in hell, even if he did swing that way, she'd likely wipe the floor with him.

'Very funny man, sorry to burst your bubble, but I think she knows that. I mean she's been trying to figure out what's going on with us, and it's driving her nuts that I won't confirm her little theory that we're a couple.'

Castiel looked up from the coffee he was smiling softly into, frowning suddenly. Why was Dean hiding their relationship? As far as he was concerned they were an item, exclusive and all that. They might be trying to take things slowly, but there was definitely a _them_. Or had he totally misunderstood Dean's point about sharing? There had been no huge public displays of affection at the college, for the sake of professionalism, but other than that, Cas hadn't got the sense that Dean was hiding them away. He hadn't met any of Dean's extended family yet, or friends, but it was early days he supposed, and there was no way he was planning to introduce Dean to any of his family right now, so that was normal, right? Ok, now he was more confused than ever, and more than a little bit worried. He could feel himself starting to panic.

'So, is there a reason you're not confirming her theory?' Castiel was expecting Dean to say something about how they were taking it slow, or that he was respecting Cas's boundaries, or that they hadn't really talked about who they were telling and when, all of which he was ready for and sympathized with, so when what came out of Dean's mouth was none of those things, he was thrown for a bit of a loop.

'Well the thing is Cas...' Dean suddenly looked supremely uncomfortable. Cas felt his own heart speed up, ' _Oh god_ ', he thought miserably, ' _here it comes, he's going to break my heart, before we've even started._ '

'The thing is, I have my own reasons for taking things slowly. You see, my family don't really know about my... I've not really been straight with my family. About not being straight.' Dean's lip quirked a little at the wordplay, but on the whole he just looked sad, and way more lost than Cas had just been feeling.

Oh. Well, that wasn't what Cas had expected at all. He momentarily dialled back the full blown freak out to more of a murmur, trying hard to focus on the point Dean was making instead. He studied the man before him for a moment, wondering. This big, gorgeous, confident man who could take him apart with hands and lips and tongue, or even just a look and a word, was hiding himself from his family. Cas hesitated for a moment before gently pulling the thread on that particular thought.

'Is there a reason for you not being honest about who you are with your family?' Cas's voice was soft, but he was concerned. Was he ashamed of Cas? Dean was hanging his head, and Cas hated the look he saw on Dean's face. It was a mixture of guilt and fear and sorrow. Was this the point at which Dean says he doesn't want them to be together? That he can't handle this? The freak out was getting louder in his mind again, as he waited for Dean to answer his question. ' _Come on, Dean, say something,_ ' he pleaded silently, but out loud, still trying to maintain an image of control, all he murmured was, 'Dean?'

Eventually Dean looked up again. 'Jo's pretty much figured it out, even though I've never told her she's right. I don't know how she got there, but she has. And she's ok with it, she teases me sometimes, like over you, but she doesn't seem to have a problem with me liking guys. I think Sammy would be ok too. But I could never face telling the rest of them. My dad, he was in the military, he wouldn't really approve. He was a man's man, you know, he'd have called me a sissy, or worse.' Dean winces, as something dark flits through his mind. He chose not to share that particular memory.

'Was a man's man?' Just as Dean had seen his own confession coming all those weeks ago, Cas thought he could imagine what Dean was about to tell him.

'I guess I should give you a bit of family history. Let you know what you're taking on being friends...' Dean trailed off, that wasn't quite what they were any more was it? He looked into Cas's eyes, and felt stronger, somehow. When he spoke again his voice was a little firmer. 'What you're taking on, being in a relationship with me. Long story short, my mom died when I was about four, Sammy was only about six months old, and my dad sort of lost it. He drank a lot, left me alone to take care of Sammy a lot. He'd have probably killed me if I'd told him his good little soldier was a...' Dean sighed again, scrutinizing his coffee like it was the single most interesting thing on the planet, anything not to meet Cas's eye.

'Anyway, when I was seventeen he wrapped his truck around a lamp post, driving drunk, and left us for good, and that was that. Jo's mom Ellen, and Bobby, the guy who owns the autoshop, they basically eventually took us in and cared for us, but for a while it was just me and Sammy. Sam needed me, all of me, not me having an existential crisis, and I just couldn't deal with anything else. I've never really found a good time to tell people since then. So I stuck with women, and if I did meet a guy, I kept it to myself. Probably why those things never lasted. Plus now I'm a lecturer, I don't know how the students would take it, not to mention the Dean, or the board.'

Cas imagined there was a lot more to the story, he figured there were some complex emotions and experiences going on behind the scenes, but he didn't want to push things. Instead, he smiled and said, 'Would it make you feel any better if I told you the horrific story about my coming out?'

'Was it that bad?'

'Worse. On second thoughts that might not help. Another time maybe. So, if Jo's going to keep bugging you, what are you going to do?'

Cas went for the easier of the two questions swirling around his brain. The other would hopefully keep, for a while at least.

'I know I need to tell them. Especially now you and me are... well, you and me, you know, together.' Dean smiled shyly at Cas, and there was the second of his questions answered, and relief washed over Cas, who smiled sweetly back at Dean.

'I just don't know how to do it. I don't want to let them down.'

Cas found that it was his turn to reassure Dean, and that felt strange, although it made him feel kind of warm inside.

'Look Dean, and believe me this is from personal experience, if they love you, it won't be a let down. They'll just be happy that you're showing them all of you. Maybe just start with Sam and go from there if you think he'll be ok with it?'

'Maybe Cas. Like I said, I know I need to tell them, and I will I guess. I've been working up to it for years. I'll get there eventually.'

'I think you'll do anything you set your mind on Dean, you seem like a remarkably capable man. I'm not here to put pressure on you, I wouldn't do that. But I will give you moral support if you need it.'

'Thanks Cas, I'm not sure that what you just said is true but it means a lot.'

They smiled at each other across Dean's desk, both enjoying the warmth of the affection growing between them. Dean felt a small weight off his shoulders. He was unaccustomed to that kind of praise, and not really knowing how to deal with it, he deliberately changed the subject, lightening his tone.

'So Cas, did you like the tape I left for you?'

Recognizing the change of subject for what it was, a plea to move on from something about which Dean could only talk so much, his own self worth, Cas went with the abrupt change of topic. He had found a Pink Floyd tape on his desk this morning, and when he spotted it, he'd practically glowed.  It was a thoughtful gesture, meant to reassure Cas's nerves about the upcoming practical session and to know Dean was thinking of him had helped significantly.  Dean knew he'd found it when he had heard the opening to The Wall coming up through the floor of his classroom. 

'I enjoyed it very much, thank you, so did the students, they thought it was very suitable for a classroom setting.  I was wondering though, should I be giving you some of these tapes back?  I have about a dozen now I think.'  Who was Cas kidding?  He knew exactly how many of Dean's tapes he had, he was becoming a tiny bit obsessive over them.

'Naw, Cas, don't worry.  After you liked the first couple so much I sort of started making you your own copies of my stuff.  You can keep those.  They're for you.'

Dean blushed, ducking his head a little, thinking about how sappy he probably sounded, and Cas thought that was just too damn cute.  He'd been making tapes for him, and Cas had an image in his mind of Dean sitting in front of a cassette deck, selecting and copying tapes, carefully labelling them.  It was a simple gesture, but it was very sweet, and he told Dean so.  They sat there grinning at each other, talking softly about the music Dean had chosen, and what he had planned to choose next, long after Dean's office hours had finished for the day.


	13. Chapter 13

'Heya Sammy, hows law school going? Meet any hot chicks in the library?'

Dean spent most of his Saturday working on the Impala, and talking himself into being the man Cas seemed to think he was. He'd finally come back into his apartment and cleaned up, still debating with himself, and even after his shower, cold beer in one hand, phone in the other, he still wasn't sure whether he was really going to follow through with this call. Rationally, he knew that Sam was his brother, he loved him, and he would still love Dean if he came out as bisexual. Sam had never shown any of the kinds of opinions that had made Dean and their father John, butt heads. But there was a significant part of Dean which fostered a cold fear underneath the rational thinking, a part which believed that confessing his true nature to his family would only result in rejection, and he wasn't sure if he could lose another family, in fact he knew he couldn't, especially one he'd worked so hard to build and care for.

In the end though it was Cas who got him to pick up the phone, without doing a thing, without even being there. He pictured Cas smiling at him over coffee last week, talking about how capable he believed Dean to be, looking at him with open affection, and suddenly he felt like he could do anything. In a moment of mostly genuine confidence, and a little surface bravado, he picked up the phone and thumbed through his short list of contacts until he found Sam's name. He took a swallow of his beer and dialled. Sam answered almost immediately. On a Saturday.  Didn't the kid have a life?

He and Sam talked regularly, although not as often as Dean would like. They chatted for a while, Dean mocked Sam's apparent lack of social life, his brother claimed to be getting no action with the ladies, which Dean didn't believe for a second.  Women loved that whole Sasquatch thing his ridiculously tall brother had going on, and yet, the guy was home alone on the weekend.  Dean despaired over his brother's love life, the kid spent way too much time with his head in a book to notice the girls falling at his feet. But he couldn't complain too much, his brother's nerdy habits had gotten him into the law program at Stanford, and Dean couldn't be prouder. He could almost hear the bitchface down the phone though so he changed the subject. They moved on to Sam's course work, Dean's classes, and their various friends. They were getting to the point where they'd normally hang up and so Dean took a breath. _'_ _Now or never_ _'_ , he told himself. _'Cas thinks I can do this',_ and that thought was surprisingly empowering. Sam was his brother, he wasn't going to judge, right?

'Look Sammy, you know Thanksgiving is coming up soon right?'

Sam could tell instantly that something was up. 'Dude, _I know_ Thanksgiving is, like, four weeks away, but I'm surprised you do. What's going on? You never plan ahead. Wait, is there a girl involved? Are you bringing a girl to dinner at Ellen's?'

Damn it, how did his giant moose of a brother make that connection so quickly? Must be that giant moose brain of his. Thanksgiving at Bobby and Ellen's had been tradition for several years now, and neither of them would dare go anywhere else. Sam had brought a girl once, a cute little blonde chick called Jess, during his first year of college, and Dean had ribbed him mercilessly for days, even though secretly he'd quite liked Jess. Neither of them had brought a guest to that particular dinner since. Dean bringing someone to Thanksgiving meant that he knew he was opening himself up to the same treatment from Sam.  It was a brave move.

'Well look Sammy, the thing is, yeah, I am planning to ask someone to come to dinner, someone special, so you better be nice.'

'Come on man, spit it out, what's her name?  Is it someone I know?'

Dean took a deep breath and all in one sentence without pausing to breath he blurted his news out.

'It'saguyandhisname'sCas.'

'What?'

Dean sighed, cleared his throat, and tried again.

'I'm bringing someone special to Thanksgiving dinner. It's a guy and his name is Cas.'

Dean screwed his eyes shut and waited, not breathing.

'A guy.'

'Yes.'

'Named Cas.'

'Yes, it's short for Castiel.'

'Castiel. So you're bringing this _guy_ , Castiel, to Thanksgiving dinner.'

'Well I haven't asked him yet, but yeah, yes, I hope so.  Sammy, are you going to repeat everything I just said?'

Dean was getting nervous, and a little snappy. Sam wasn't really responding like he'd hoped. He braced himself for whatever Sam was about to unleash over the phone, immediately rethinking his plan to come clean to the rest of his adopted family. Those old feelings of being overwhelmed and a little lost were starting to rise up again.

'Well that's great Dean, about time too.' Sam's voice was warm, almost like he was smiling down the phone.

Huh? Dean's eyebrows shot skyward, and he belatedly noticed that his mouth was hanging open. Sam knew? How long had he known? And why wasn't he taking the piss?

'What do you mean, about time too?'

'Well, just that it's about time you stopped making out like you're straight. Jo and I knew it years ago, we've just been waiting for you to meet the right guy. We figured once you met someone you really liked, you'd tell us. So you must really like this guy huh? What does he do?'

'What, how, how did you know years ago?'

'Dude, you obviously didn't want to talk about it, but please, no one could be as into Dr Sexy as you are and be straight.  And then there was that thing with, what was his name, the Jewish guy, Aaron?'

'Nothing happened with Aaron,' Dean grumbled, stunned at his brother's revelation.

'Right.  I saw the way he looked at you, and how you looked at him.  You're telling me you didn't go for it with him?'

Well this was all very interesting and so on, but Dean was about done discussing his past relationship failures.

'Let's just accept nothing happened and move on Sammy.  So are you going to be nice to Cas or what?'

'Sure, I'll be nice.  Why wouldn't I be nice?  You're always nice to my dates.  Right?  What's he like anyway?  What does he do?'

'He's a lecturer like me, at the same place. He's teaching intro to woodshop this year, it's his first year. He's an artist too, really talented. He's a good guy, and yeah, I do like him, but it's pretty early days, so no ganging up on him with Jo over dinner. I mean it Sam, be nice.'

'I wouldn't dream of being anything else, wouldn't want to hurt your fragile ego now.'

'Bitch'

'Jerk'

'Yeah, yeah.  Look, I gotta go, man.  Talk to you later?'

'Sure, bye Dean, say hi to everyone for me.'

Dean hung up the phone and released a soft breath of relief. Sam somehow always managed to surprise him. He knew there would probably be a phone call from his brother in Jo's short term future, and he wanted to get in there first, before she blabbed to Ellen and Bobby and god knows who else.   He kind of knew that telling Sam was setting the ball rolling, and that there was no backing down now, but he was still nervous, despite his big little brother's reaction. So he texted Cas, hoping he was serious about that moral support he'd offered.

'Hey Cas, wanna meet some of my adopted family tonight?'

The reply was swift and positive, 'Sure, when and where?'

Dean gave instructions for Cas to meet him at the Roadhouse for dinner at 6.30, and smiled when he received a reply promising to be there. He was really doing this, opening up to his family. It had only been a few weeks, but Cas was having a powerful effect on Dean, he gave him confidence, a reason to be a better man, and a belief that his family would be there to support him no matter what. It was a new feeling, but one Dean was enjoying trying on for size.

 


	14. Chapter 14

Dean was early to the Roadhouse, and paced outside nervously, suddenly understanding that he'd basically asked Cas to meet his family, which was a pretty serious move for a couple of guys who were taking it slow. While he looked out for Cas's little car to pull into the lot he chewed over whether he was asking too much of Cas, pushing too far. He cared about the man, and he was in no way planning to break his heart, but at the same time he understood some of how rough Cas had had it before they'd met, and he was trying to be sensitive to that. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't register that Cas was standing behind him watching him marching up and down the parking lot, clearly deep in thought, until Dean turned and almost walked into him.

'Cas, get out of my ass.' Dean yelped as he nearly barrelled the smaller man over.

'I was never in your...' At Dean's look though, Cas trailed off, gathering from the tense look on Dean's face that he was experiencing some stress, and probably wouldn't appreciate the sarcasm he was working up to.

'Is everything ok Dean?' Cas reached a hand out to Dean, slowly, as if to quieten a startled animal, but stopped when he saw Dean freeze.

'Dean, what's going on, what's the matter?'

'I spoke to Sammy today. I told him, about us. And about me, obviously. He took it pretty well, seemed like he's known for years, was just waiting for me to meet the right guy apparently.' At this he stopped pacing and flicked a small smile at the dark haired man frowning in front of him.

'Ok, so you spoke to Sam, and that went well. That's great, I'm happy for you. Buy why are you so worked up then?'

'Well because I'm about to tell Ellen and Bobby the same thing. And then introduce them to you. Which I gotta admit I'm a bit nervous about. And then I just realized that it's an awful lot to ask of you, to stand there with me while I come out to my family, and that I don't want to push you too hard and that we were taking it slow, and I don't want to screw this up, and this is a lot to ask and...'

Dean was babbling, Cas could tell when he repeated himself and took off pacing again. Cas gently took his hand, making him stop in the parking lot. He turned Dean to look him in the eye, and smiled softly.

'If you want me there, I'd be honoured. I promised you moral support, and you have it. I'll be here for you.'

Dean let out the breath he hadn't known he was holding and his heart slowed slightly. He looked down at the hand Cas was holding, and Cas made to let go, ready to let Dean choose how and when they would display their affection. But Dean simply wove their fingers together, and looked into Cas's eyes for fortification. He nodded at Cas, whispered a thank you, and pushed open the door to the bar.

As they made their way to the bar, Cas's eyes adjusted to the gloom, and he looked around at the dive bar, he'd driven past it many times but had never ventured inside before. It was pretty quiet, early Saturday evening, there were a few people who looked like they might be regulars, and some intrepid younger drinkers, making a start on their Saturday night. Dean headed straight for the bar and only let go of Cas to pull off his jacket and hang it over the back of a stool, rolling up the sleeves of his plaid shirt as he sat. Cas shed his jacket and climbed onto the stool next to Dean. Cas thought Dean seemed to be calming slightly, the familiar surroundings settling him. He waved at the bartender, who looked about 15 years old, but must be over 21.

'Hey Alfie, Bobby and Ellen around?'

'Sure Dean, they're in the kitchen, go on back. Drink?'

'Thanks dude, beer for me, whaddya want Cas?'

'Beer for me too, whatever's on draught, thanks.'

Dean hopped off the stool again, hesitated for a second and then grabbed Cas's hand, leading him into the bar's kitchen, letting go of his hand to stuff both of his own hands in his pockets, looking defensive already.  Cas sympathized with the gesture, and he wasn't about to make Dean feel more uncomfortable by mentioning it, so instead he looked around the kitchen, which was old, but spotless.  Burgers sizzled on the grill, fries were cooking in hot oil, and a woman was waving a large knife and shouting at a shorter man with a trucker cap and a beard.  Cas recognized the guy in the trucker cap from the photograph in Dean's hallway. This must be Bobby.  Bobby seemed to be having a debate, or losing a debate it would be more fair to say, with the woman, who was elegant, with long fair hair and twinkling brown eyes, and had very definite opinions on Bobby's dinner options.  She looked up and spotted Dean hovering in the doorway of the kitchen.

'Dean, hey sweetheart, tell Bobby he cannot have burgers for dinner every night. Doctors orders if he wants to live past sixty.'

'Damn it woman, don't you get the boy ganging up on me now. A bit of red meat never killed anyone.'

Ellen snorted and looked at Bobby, and Cas vowed never to get on the wrong side of the woman. But at that moment Ellen noticed that Dean had brought someone into the kitchen with him. Ellen levelled an appraising look at Cas, who reminded himself silently that he was an adult, and thought hard to himself, ' _don't squirm!_ '

Dean finally opened his mouth to say something.  Then closed it.  Then opened it again.  This was harder than he thought.  Both Ellen and Bobby were now looking at him expectantly.

'Ellen, Bobby, I want you to meet someone.  This is Cas, uh, Castiel Novak.  Cas, this here is Ellen and Bobby Singer.'  And with that he pulled his hands out of his pockets, took a breath, and grabbed Cas's hand, twining their fingers together once more.  He looked hard at their hands for a moment, before looking up and around the kitchen at the people there, three of the most important people in his life right now, all looking at him.

'Cas and me, well, we're...'  He trailed off, he really had not thought this through.  Crap.  What were they?  How did he describe them?  He felt his throat closing.  Fortunately his man came to the rescue, with a reassuring squeeze of his hand.  He looked into Dean's eyes and something passed between them, Dean pleading for help, Cas seeking permission to say what Dean apparently couldn't get out, Dean silently nodding in gratitude and relief. 

'Dean and I, we're dating.' He said simply, looking up at Dean for confirmation.  Dean swallowed and nodded again, this time in affirmation.  He was gazing at Cas like he'd hung the moon, but seemed disinclined to add anything to Cas's declaration, so Cas continued, 'it's nice to meet you, Mr and Mrs Singer.  Dean's told me a lot about you both.'

Ellen looked them both up and down for a minute, and nodded.  Bobby just had a soft smile on his face, he looked pleased and a little bit proud too.

'So, I take it you're the hot woodwork teacher I've heard so much about? Jo's going to drive you crazy now, you know, she hasn't been able to stop going on about you guys.  Castiel, huh?  Nice to meet you, you can call me Ellen and the man wanting to eat himself into an early grave there is my husband Bobby.  Welcome to the Roadhouse Cas.'

And with that, the matter of Dean's new relationship was apparently settled.  Cas looked from Dean to Ellen and back several times, before his mind gathered the words in the right order. He raised his eyebrows at Dean.

'Hot woodwork teacher?'

'Yeah, I think Jo may have used that description for you. Sorry.'  Dean looked suitably sheepish, and was turning very pink, but he had finally regained use of his vocal chords, thank god, and so he forged on.  He had something important that he wanted to ask Ellen.

'Um, Ellen, I was, well I was wondering, well if Cas wants to,' he looked at Cas, who raised an eyebrow, but remained silent, while Dean veered close to babbling territory again, 'only if you want to, you don't have to, there's no pressure, but anyway...'  Turning back to Ellen, Dean finally got to the point, 'I was wondering if there was room for one more for Thanksgiving?'

'Boy, you know there's always room for ten more at Ellen's Thanksgiving. But in answer to your question, if Castiel here wants to join this rag tag lot for the holidays, he'll be welcome.  Ya don't ever need to ask, ya idjit.'  Bobby laughed and clapped Dean on the arm, rolling his eyes.

Ellen was just smiling and nodding, still scrutinizing Cas, who could feel himself wilting under the fierce stare. He was starting to understand how some of his students might feel when he stared too hard at them. Eventually, though, she smiled, and Cas felt like he'd passed some kind of test.

'You boys want some dinner? I have burgers ready to go on.'

'Sure, thanks Ellen, burgers sound great. We'll head back out and sit. Thanks.'

Ellen smiled at Dean and gave him a quick, but firm, hug, and Dean breathed a sigh of utter relief as her arms wrapped around him.  She murmured something about being proud of him, and Dean turned scarlet.  He ducked his head, reaching for Cas's hand, making to lead Cas back out to the bar.  Before he could make good their escape though, Ellen caught Cas's other arm and pulled him into a brief hug too, muttering something in Cas's ear, which Dean couldn't catch. Cas flushed, and Dean scowled a little, gathering his boyfriend back from Ellen and leading them out into the bar.

'What did she say to you?' He demanded as he took a long sip of his beer, willing his flushed skin to calm down.

'She just said welcome to the family, and that I had better be good to you.'

'Right, well you better be, she's right.' His daunting task out of the way, Dean was now able to relax, smile and joke.

'I will, she's kinda scary, in a really lovely, really terrifying way.  The knife in her hand didn't help.  Did you mean what you said about Thanksgiving?'

'Yeah, Cas, I wouldn't have asked if I hadn't, especially not with an audience.'

'Well, I''d like that, I really would. I'd love to come, thank you.'

'Don't you have family you need to go to?'

'No. Well I do have family but I won't be going there. I wasn't going to go anyway, I was going to stay here in Lawrence. It's a long story, but I haven't done the family Thanksgiving for several years.'

Dean could see it was a painful topic, and gently nudged Cas with his knee,

'You want to talk about it?'

'Not really, not right now anyway. It's definitely a three beer conversation.'

Dean knew how that was, and didn't push it.  Cas would open up when he was ready.

'Well, you got the seal of approval from Bobby and Ellen, so come join us misfits and odd bods instead. It's not exactly a formal thing, I think you'll like it.'

Cas understood the subtext of the sentence for what Dean was telling himself. I, Dean, got the seal of approval from Bobby and Ellen, for who I am, and I'm still a part of the group, still loved, still wanted, and the man I chose is welcomed too. Cas could tell it was an enormous weight of Dean's shoulders, he seemed to even sit a little taller.

Their food came out and once again Cas devoured his like it was the last meal he might eat. Dean reminded himself that they needed to have a conversation about the sex noises Cas made when they ate in public. They made it almost impossible for Dean to concentrate on his own food, but then he thought, nah, screw it, it's Cas, he could hear those noises all day long and be happy.

'You like that huh?'

'Very much.' Cas replied, blinking up at Dean, and Dean got the sense that he wasn't just talking about the burger. Warmth spread throughout his body and he leaned a little closer to the gorgeous man sitting next to him.

'Me too,' he whispered conspiratorially.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have the next seven chapters drafted, they're just waiting to be edited, which means the next few updates will be quite frequent. I think maybe another eight to ten chapters after that, and we'll be done (which, yes I know, is ridiculous). This wasn't meant to be anywhere near this long, I haven't even got to the bit that gave me the whole idea for the story yet! But anyway, I love these boys, and I just can't help writing about them!
> 
> Thank you so so much for reading this far, I can't tell you what it means to me to see the kudos and bookmarks and everything that means people are actually reading this!


	15. Chapter 15

'Hey Cas?'

'Hnmph?'

Cas was curled against Dean on his couch, they'd spent their Sunday updating Cas's knowledge of popular culture with a few episodes of Star Trek, and a Doctor Sexy marathon. Cas had started to doze on Dean's chest and was making adorable snuffly noises which Dean had come to recognize as his falling asleep noises. But Dean had something to say, and he wanted to make sure his man was awake to hear it.

'Cas, you with me here?'

Cas lifted his head to look up at Dean, and caught a look of fondness on Dean's face.

'I'm with you Dean, it's just been a long week. And it's Monday again tomorrow already. How did that happen?'

'I don't know babe, I guess it keeps coming around. Anyway look Cas, there was something I wanted to say.'

Cas sat up, a look of concentration on his face.

'What is it?'

'Woah Cas where are you going?'

'You had something to say, I was listening.'

'You can listen from where you were, I kinda like having you curled up next to me. You're warm, it's... it's nice. I like it.'

Dean held his arms open to Cas, who smiled and settled back in his boyfriends arms. 'So what did you want to say?'

'Well, actually part of it was just that I like having you here like this.' He dropped a kiss on the top of Cas's head, nosing through his mussed hair.

'I like this too, I feel like I'm learning a lot. Although I'm still wondering when Kirk and Spock are going to get it together.'

'Huh? They're not, well, they're friends Cas, colleagues. They're not gay.'

'Really? There seemed to be an awful lot of subtext for just friends and colleagues, don't you think?'

'What? You think so? I'm never going to watch that show the same way again.'

'Well next time look out for the subtext, it's there.'

'I'm not going to say I never thought about Kirk, or Spock, sometimes, you know, when I... Ah anyway, just never together you know?'

'Dean, are we getting off track here? I do find your sexual fantasies fascinating, but you had something you wanted to say, and I'm guessing that's not it. Although if it is, by all means keep going, I want to know all about you and Captain Kirk.'

Dean thought he might never get used to how direct Cas could be, especially about sex. But he really kind of liked it.

'Maybe we'll save that conversation for later, huh? Me and Kirk, that's some pretty special stuff.' Dean chuckled softly. 'Anyway, yeah we did get off track a bit. Sorry. What I really wanted to say was thank you.'

Cas turned and squinted a little at the green eyes which looked softly back at him.

'Thank you? What for?'

'Well, it was what you said last week, in my office, about me being capable of anything. There's probably not many people have thought that about me, and I can count on one hand the number of people who've ever said that kind of thing to me.'

Dean tightened his grip on the smaller man, pulling him close again, breathing in the fresh smell of his own shampoo in Cas's hair. The strangest things made him feel warm inside, and the scent of his own bathroom stuff on Cas was definitely one of them.

'So anyway, it was what you said last week, that made me think I'd be ok talking to Sammy, and when that went well, I knew that talking to Bobby and Ellen would be ok too. And it was. But I wouldn't have done it, I don't think, if it wasn't for you.  And when you bailed me out, when I couldn't get the words out, that meant a lot.  And you know, the fact that we're together, and we're happy, you are happy right?'

Cas nodded under his chin and snuggled closer to Dean, wrapping an arm around his waist.

'So yeah, I wanted to tell them, I've wanted to for a while, but more so now because of us.  I felt like I could tell them because of what you said.  And you helped me so much, and you didn't laugh at me when I got stuck.  So thank you.'

By now Dean was mumbling into Cas's hair, peppering the top of his head with kisses as he expressed his gratitude.

'You know, I think you could have done it sooner or later without my encouragement. You're stronger than you think, and you're a smart man, you'd have worked out eventually that your family love you unconditionally.'

Dean huffed at that, and Cas pulled away to look Dean in the eye, keen to make his point understood.

'Dean, it's true, you're a good man. You'd have found your way to being open with your family when you were ready. I just came along at the right time.'

'Well, I'm glad you came along, that's for sure.'

Dean pulled Cas into a soft kiss, coaxing his lips open, slipping his tongue inside to gently explore. Cas let out a soft sigh and seemed to melt into Dean, wrapping himself around the blond man, making contact in as many places as possible.  He loved the feeling of this man pressed against him, warm and strong. He felt Dean's hands slip under his t-shirt and his sighs turned into little moans as he mentally tracked the course Dean's hands took, feeling them travel across his stomach and up, over his chest, to lift the t-shirt off over Cas's head. Cool air and Dean's touch combined to bring up goosebumps across his shoulders, and Dean moved to kiss along his left shoulder, following the trail of the goosebumps, warm and moist. Cas took the chance to slip his own hands under Dean's shirt, enjoying the hiss from Dean as he scratched his way across Dean's lower back.

Dean brought his lips back up to meet Cas's mouth, and nipped at his lower lip, loving the way Cas twitched against him. Cas went to work unbuttoning the shirt standing in his way, and pushed it off gold freckled shoulders, smoothing the way down until he had Dean's arms trapped with his shirt.

'You need a hand there Cas?' Dean's voice was soft, but with an edge.

'Not at all, I have you right where I want you.'

Cas smirked at Dean as he used one hand to keep Dean's wrists trapped together behind his back, while he ran the other up his chest and throat, running his fingers along the stubble sprinkled along Dean's jawline.  Dean let out a small moan, as Cas pressed him back into the couch, and he wondered fleetingly what Cas might do to him now he had him where he wanted him. He didn't have to wait long to find out, as Cas released his arms, but left his shirt tangled around his wrists. With a growled warning not to move, Cas worked his way down Dean's chest, licking and kissing, until he reached the waistband of the jeans Dean was wearing. Without hesitating he unbuttoned them, gasping a little as he discovered how hard Dean was under the thick denim. Dean raised his eyebrows at Cas, and murmured to him, 'You like what you see there Cas?'

Cas licked his lips as he wriggled the jeans and boxers off, and dropped them on the floor. He moved back up to wrap his fist around Dean's cock, which was already standing at attention. Dean made to move, to reach out to Cas, but Cas stopped him with a look, and Dean lay back, subdued by flashing blue eyes. Apparently Cas was taking control tonight, and Dean was happy to get on that train. As Cas pumped up and down his length, Dean let his head fall back and closed his eyes. They flew open again with a whimper when he felt Cas's mouth close over his throbbing cock. As Cas swallowed him down, until his nose met wiry hair, Dean groaned, and made a mental note to learn how to do that, maybe Cas would teach him.

Cas sucked up and down a few times before releasing Dean with a wet sound, and looked up at Dean who was staring intently at Cas, still following direction, he had not moved his arms. Good, Cas decided to see if he could push Dean's buttons a little more. He pulled Dean's legs open as he took one of his balls in his mouth, sucking and pulling gently, before moving lower to sweep his tongue back and around the rim of Dean's hole. Dean yelped and jumped as he felt Cas's hot wet tongue invading his most intimate places. Cas gripped his hips and held him still as he used his tongue to gently probe Dean, pushing further into the opening, making Dean's breath speed up, until he was almost panting. Cas could see Dean wanting to reach down and touch himself, and Cas was amazed at how willing the man was to follow an instruction. He could feel Dean trembling under his hands as he licked and laved, bringing his man close to the edge, but not quite over it. He kept working until he thought, by the sounds the man was making, that he couldn't take any more, and he gripped Dean's shaft, stroking him once, twice, and then Dean was crying out, spilling out all over Cas's hand and his own stomach. Cas stroked him through his orgasm until the whimpering stopped, and Dean's breathing settled. He grabbed his t-shirt and gently cleaned Dean's stomach, wiping his own hand clean too, and moved back up Dean's now relaxed body, smiling at the look on Dean's face, fucked out and drained, lips plump and eyes wide.

Dean's mouth quirked into a smile, 'Can I ahhh, can I move my arms now?'

Cas grinned and nodded, sitting up to allow Dean to free himself and flex his wrists a little.

'So, Cas, you like to tie guys up huh? I didn't know you were a kinky son of a bitch.'

Cas's grin got bigger.

'I got the impression that you enjoyed the experience too Dean, maybe I'm not the only kinky son of a bitch here.'

'Huh, maybe not. I can't say I didn't enjoy that. But I don't think I should be the only one to have fun tonight babe, you wanna lie back and let me see if I can make you happy?'

Cas swallowed and nodded, lying back and closing his eyes as he relaxed against Dean's touch.


	16. Chapter 16

On Tuesday evening, Dean got an email from Charlie. Her message admonished him soundly for not being in touch more, reminded him that he was still to beat her in Call of Duty, and bugged him about her upcoming Halloween party. He was to come, he was to wear a costume, and if in any way it was humanly possible, he was to bring a date. Dean laughed at that last point, he was pretty sure he was bringing a date. He was also pretty sure Cas was not the kind of date Charlie would expect.

He pecked out a quick reply, promising to follow all of her instructions to the letter, and to kick her ass next time they played online together. He wondered for a minute about a costume, but figured he could pull together a passable cowboy without too much trouble. The party was Saturday night, that gave him a few days.

He texted Cas, to see if he was in, and to find out how he felt about costume parties. Turns out Cas was very much in favour.

~ ~ ~

He'd promised to pick Cas up on his way, and so he still had no idea what costume to expect, despite Dean practically begging to know, Cas had held firm, it would be a surprise. This had left Dean in a bit of a tailspin, he'd spent the week imagining his man in a variety of hot outfits, doctor, fireman, cop, pirate, superhero, priest. Cas had danced through his imagination in them all, and looked hot as hell in every one. The priest one especially was surprisingly effective on his libido. Dean felt he'd made his cowboy look convincing, hoping to have a similar effect on Cas. He'd gone for old, worn denim which was snug over his ass and hips, leather chaps, a dark blue denim shirt, a leather waistcoat, and cowboy hat topping off the look. Boots, belt and toy gun completed his costume. Dean strolled up to Cas's door and knocked lightly, he was a little early, but he'd wanted time to get a good look at Cas before they went to the party. He also thought it was only fair to brief Cas on some of his friends, namely Charlie.

The door opened and Dean nearly swallowed his tongue. Cas was dressed head to foot in black. Tight black pants and heavy boots sat below a black sleeveless tunic, belted with a narrow silver rope. The tunic exposed his muscular arms, and the pants were clinging to his legs in ways which made Dean's mind race. His hair was wild, and he held a long silver sword in his hand. His scowl usually caused him to look grumpy, but tonight, combined with the all black outfit and the sex hair, it just made him look powerful. But it was as he turned to grab his keys, and Dean caught sight of the back of the costume, that Dean truly forgot to breathe. A pair of sleek, full black wings cascaded from his shoulder blades, down Castiel's back, almost to the floor, and where they moved he could see that the back of the tunic was no more than see through mesh. Dean probably wouldn't admit it but he was pretty sure he whimpered at that point. Cas looked dangerous, sex and power and hotness, and Dean was the one who got to take him home tonight.

'Jesus, Cas, you look... wow,' was about all Dean could manage to squeak out.

'Hmm, you're not so bad yourself, can I get a view of those chaps from the back?' Cas licked his lips, appraising his boyfriend's outfit carefully, and Dean could feel heat rising as he was looked up and down. He did a slow turn in front of Cas, tipped his hat and said, 'Howdy,' and that seemed to send Cas into a bit of a fluster. They stared at each other for a moment, before Dean lunged, pressing Cas up against the wall of his hallway, kissing him urgently. He tried hard to convey to Cas everything he was feeling with that kiss, how hot he thought the angel was, how much he wanted him right there, and he knew Cas felt the same by the way he was moaning into his mouth, running his hands firmly over Deans denim encased ass and leather clad hips, pulling the two of them tighter together until they were grinding against the wall.

Dean groaned as he pulled away a little, panting and looked up at Cas.

'If we don't stop right now, we might not make this party. And as much as I want to show you exactly how good you look in those wings, and you do, believe me babe, fuck, I really, really want you to meet my friends.'

Cas just grinned. He had gone for the angel idea as a kind of easy out, it was an obvious choice thanks to his name and his upbringing. But he hadn't wanted to be some silly, white clad, cloud hopping, harp playing stereotype. Angels were warriors of god, they were soldiers, they fought wars, meted out brutality and punishment, destroyed whole cities in God's name. He wanted to represent that, and well, if that happened to turn Dean into a gibbering fool, then all the better. To be fair the leather chaps were doing a fairly good job of that on him too, especially combined with Dean's slight bow legged stride, he wasn't sure how in hell he was going to keep his hands off Dean all night, but he was willing to give it a try.

'Delayed gratification can be very rewarding you know.'

'Oh, angel, I think you'll be worth the wait. Now come on, get your feathery ass in my car before I lose what's left of my willpower.'

Once Cas had gently folded himself and those stunning wings into the car, and they were on their way to the party, Dean looked over at him.

'So, where on earth did you get a pair of jet black wings designed for a six foot tall man anyway?'

'I made them myself. After you called on Tuesday I thought about what I wanted to dress as and I started messing around with wire, and fishing line, and feathers. Turns out it's not that hard, just time consuming. It took a couple of nights, and I think I bought every black feather in Kansas. But it was fun. I forgot how it was to be making stuff, seeing an idea come to life. It was very rewarding, to make them. Especially rewarding was your reaction.' Cas looked a little smug, he had every right to be pleased with himself though, as Dean reached out and ran a hand gently down the feathers.

'They're really soft, wow. You're incredibly talented Cas, I reckon I could probably come up with a structural frame for something like this, but I don't know how you made them so light, and how they move so much. You're amazing. They're gorgeous. You're gorgeous.'

His hand slid down the wing, and found it's way to holding Cas's hand, squeezing it gently as he drove.

~ ~ ~

Getting out of the car, Cas adjusted his costume slightly, grabbed his sword, which was made of foam and painted to look realistic, and looked up at the large house outside of which they had just parked. Music and noise was pumping from the windows and doors, and he could hear people laughing and shouting. He might look like an all powerful warrior of heaven, but suddenly, he felt nervous. Would Dean's friends like him? Would he like them? Was Dean going to be open to them about his relationship?

As if he could sense this minor panic, Dean appeared beside Cas, putting his hat on, and held out his hand.

'You ready to meet my friends, angel?' he drawled, and when Cas took his hand, he led him to the door and into the house.

They made their way through a mass of bodies, Dean saying hi every now and again, until they made it to the kitchen. Dean dropped the beer they'd brought into the fridge, and yelled over the music at a guy sitting at the table, to ask where Charlie was. In the den apparently.

Still towing Cas in his wake, Dean headed for the den, where he found a pile of people on the floor and the couch, drinking shots and shouting at each other. A small red headed woman, dressed in medieval armour and tunic, spotted him and, leaping athletically over the people on the floor, flew into Dean, wrapping him in a hug.

'Dean, you don't call, you never write, what the hell man?'

'Hey, sorry, I've just been a bit distracted lately. You know how it is, anyway I'm here now. Is Benny here yet?'

'Not yet, but he's on his way. Apparently he's coming as a vampire. Again.' Charlie and Dean both groaned at this. Apparently this was Benny's go to costume for as long as they could remember. He'd been pissed when the Twilight books came out and people started asking him why he didn't sparkle.

'Anyway,' Charlie pressed, 'you promised this girl you were bringing a date. So, where is she? Is she hot? Is that why you've been so distracted?'

Dean reached behind him, where Cas was hovering, grabbed his date by the hand, and pulled him forward, wrapping his arm around the angel's waist, underneath the wings, feeling the cool feathers flow over his arm.

'Cas, this is Charlie, the little sister I never wanted or asked for, and my best friend since college. Charlie, this is Castiel, he's my date, and yeah, I think he's pretty hot.' At that last comment he looked from Charlie to Cas, his grin predatory.

'Damn Dean, about time. Welcome to the club.' Charlie reached for a high five, which Dean met, laughing. 'Nice to meet you Cas, you ever play computer games?'

Dean sputtered. 'Why does everyone keep saying that anyway? About time? Sammy said that when I told him too. Is there anyone who doesn't know that I like guys as well as girls?'

'Dean, the minute I met you, I knew you weren't playing with a straight bat. Remember when you talked me through flirting with that security guy so you could get past him, into the dean's office in college? You were way too good at flirting with guys to be straight. And if you were, your talents were sorely wasted. So yeah, I figured.'

'And it didn't bother you, me not telling you?'

'No, it was your truth to tell, when you were ready. Seems like you're ready now, so I'm happy for you. Now go fetch your boyfriend and me a beer.'

With that she grabbed Cas by the arm, and dragged him towards the pile of people, who were still downing shots and were now singing.

'So Cas, you ever play Call of Duty? Want me to teach you how to kick your boyfriend's fabulous ass?'


	17. Chapter 17

Dean manoeuvred the Impala into a parking space at Cas's apartment, and looked over at the man in his passenger seat. The thick dark hair was even more dishevelled, from Charlie's boisterous goodbye hug. They had not been allowed to leave the Halloween party without making many promises to hang out again in the very near future. Cas and Charlie had got along surprisingly well, given her obsession with geek culture, and Cas's complete lack of exposure to the same. Dean was thrilled, he didn't know what he would have done if they had hated each other on sight. He was pretty sure it would have been awkward, although he did concede that it was almost impossible to dislike Charlie, the sheer force of her personality just wouldn't allow it. Even Benny had liked Cas though, and that was a rare thing indeed.

'Dean? You ok? You're staring.'

Cas's voice was soft, gravelly, and made Dean's insides pool with warmth. He loved the sound of Cas's voice, it did indecent things to his thought processes.

'Sorry Cas, I was miles away. Did you have a good time tonight? I hope my friends weren't too much? Charlie can be, well, intense.'

Cas laughed, she certainly was. When she found out he'd never read the Harry Potter series, she'd thrust The Sorcerer's Stone into his hands, insisting he take it and read it this very night, personally devastated that Cas had not experienced the wonder and wisdom that was Hermione Granger. She'd talked excitedly about how cool it was that he could get to experience it all for the first time, and made him promise to text her with his thoughts once he'd finished the book. Cas was grateful, and he was touched by her enthusiasm, but he had some very different plans for the rest of this evening, if the green eyed man next to him was amenable.

'I had a great time, your friends were very welcoming. I hope you don't think our night is over though. I was planning on picking up where we left off in my hallway earlier. I've spent half the night looking at your ass in that outfit, I'd rather like to see it out of those jeans.'

Dean spluttered a bit. 'Wow Cas, normally you ask a guy in for a coffee or something. You're really direct, you know that?'

'I just know what I want Dean. I spent enough time over the past year doubting myself, but you...'

For the first time Cas's directness left him. He swallowed and looked up into tender green eyes, which were watching him closely, waiting patiently for him to say something which was clearly important to him. He'd never had this feeling before, like standing on the edge of a cliff, wanting to throw himself off. It was a terrifying, dizzying feeling, and yet he was happy, because he felt like if he jumped, Dean would be jumping with him. And with this amazing man at his side, he might just fly instead of crashing to a heap. Balthazar had never made him this excited, this aroused, this passionate. He had begun to question whether he'd ever really loved the man, and whether that, as much as the man's adultery, had caused their break up.

In comparison, Cas was starting to wonder if what he felt for Dean was more than affection, lust and admiration. He suspected that he was falling for the cowboy sitting next to him, and despite all his issues with trust, with his own self worth and confidence, he was surprisingly alright with letting himself fall. He, miraculously, trusted in Dean to be there when he did. After all, Dean had shown his own faith in Castiel, in sharing himself with his family and friends, finally being open and honest with them. Cas knew that Dean was a man of actions more than words, and that action told him much about the man sitting beside him, how he felt about Cas, and what he wanted from his future. It was time for them both to embrace that future, and take the next step, at least that was what he hoped.

'You make me feel like I know what I want. And that I might be able to have it.'

'And what's that Cas, what is it that you want?' Dean asked softly, reaching out to take his man's hand.

'You. All of you. In every way.'

Dean cupped his jaw, bringing him in for a deep kiss before looking tenderly into ocean blue eyes.

'Are you sure?'

'I'm sure, more sure than I've been of anything. I want you, I want you inside me, I want to feel you around me. I want it all Dean, every way possible, all with you.'

Dean's pulse was racing and he could feel his heart pounding as he pulled Cas in for a bruising kiss, feeling, rather than hearing the man whimper against his lips. They broke apart only to breath, hearts thudding in sync.

'Is that a yes?'

Dean nodded slowly, licking his lips as though contemplating something delicious.

'Oh. Good. Good.'

Dean moved forward to kiss the man again, but was stopped when a finger pressed to his lips.

'Not that this isn't incredible and all, but do you think perhaps we might be more comfortable inside, perhaps the bedroom?'

Dean blinked slowly, the thought of what Cas wanted to do to him, what he was offering to Dean, had obliterated any awareness of where they were, still in the front of the Impala, windows now foggy, engine still running. He cut the engine smartly, practically throwing himself out of the door, and followed Cas up the steps to his door, almost groaning as he caught flashes of skin through that mesh see through shirt beneath the swaying wings Cas was still wearing.


	18. Chapter 18

Cas led Dean by the hand through his apartment. Dean knew his way around the place but Cas didn't want to break the link between them now. They moved into the bedroom, and Cas closed the door, flicking on a small lamp, casting a soft glow across the room. He turned to look at Dean who was hovering by the door, suddenly uncertain.

'Come here Dean.'

The voice was gentle, but there was no mistaking the command in it. Dean swallowed once, met the eyes of his lover and moved across to the bed.

'You know, I actually don't mind you being direct Cas, I like that you know what you want, even more, I like that it's me you want. I uh, I want you too.'

Dean was standing in front of Cas by this point, close enough to count the dark eyelashes which framed his stunning eyes. He ran his hand along the stubbled jaw, enjoying the scratch of the hair against his palm, as he lifted Cas's mouth to his own. Their kiss was slow at first, but deepened, and as Cas pressed against Dean, he thought he could feel the man's arousal already, and gasped.

Dean pulled away and laughed though. 'Sorry babe, ah, yeah...' and he unbuckled the holster holding his toy gun, dropping it to the floor.  Cas laughed and pulled him close again, running one hand up that broad firm chest, around the back of his neck, and up, to pull the hat off his head, and drop it on the floor with the gun.  Their laughter seemed to dispel the nervousness they had both been feeling and they relaxed together.  Cas pushed the leather waistcoat off Dean's shoulders and down his arms.  That too dropped to the floor, joining the pile of discarded costume items. Next came the shirt, and here Cas seemed to get distracted, by miles and miles of firm, golden skin and those freckles he was coming to adore. He was nibbling his way along a collar bone, when he realised that Dean was likely to need some help in disassembling the angel outfit he'd created. He looked up at Dean and whispered, 'let me'.

Stepping back slightly, Cas unknotted the rope and dropped that and the foam sword to the floor. He unhooked the wings from the harness he'd made for them, and carefully hung them on the post at the end of the bed, where they flowed glossily to the floor. Dean was looking at him like he was starving and Cas was dinner, and when the blond man spoke his voice rumbled with wanting.

'I think I can manage the rest, angel, come here.'

Dean slipped the black shirt up, over his man's head and dropped it next to the belt and sword. As Cas toed off his boots, he undid the man's pants and pushed them down, all the while exploring the hollow of Cas's throat with his tongue, Cas rolling his head back, eyes closed in pleasure. He came back to himself enough to step out of his pants, and nudge Dean up onto the bed. He followed as Dean scooted back, until they were tangled together, kissing and exploring with hands and tongues. Cas rolled Dean on his back, and studied the man for a second. Shirtless, clad in worn, snug denim and those ridiculous chaps, splayed out in front of him, skin flushed with arousal, the man looked every inch the front cover of a sordid western romance novel. Cas thought he could probably stare for hours, charting every inch of this man and still not be satisfied. He regained his focus though when Dean moved beneath him, reaching a hand down to touch his shoulder. He pressed a kiss to Dean's navel, and went to work, helping the man out of the last elements of his costume.

He moved back up the bed and pressed his body against his boyfriend, feeling the wonderful friction between them as their arousal met, separated by the thin fabric of their underwear. He moved his hips to press closer, and Dean did the same, groaning at the feeling of them rubbing together. As their lips met, they rutted together, hot and needy, until Cas moaned out Dean's name and pulled back to breathe a moment.

'Want you Cas, angel, please,' Dean murmured, voice thick with longing.

'How do you want this Dean?  Tell me what you want babe. I told you what I want, it's your turn now.'

Dean nodded, he could do that. In the arms of this man he could do anything. He gazed into the eyes of his lover and kissed him again, slow and savouring.

'I want you to make love to me, please Cas, I want you inside me.'

Cas nodded and pressed another kiss to his man, at the same time rolling him onto his back again.

'If you're sure, then yes.'

'I'm sure angel, we'll get to the other stuff I promise, I want to make love to you so bad, but please, I want to feel you.'

Cas held himself up over Dean, kissing down his body, loving the sounds he wrung from the man beneath him as he met a sensitive spot. When he reached his hips, he sucked gently on the skin there, looking up to check what Dean was ok with. As Dean nodded he sucked harder, marking this man as his own, and then soothing the mark with a flat tongue. Dean moaned, and Cas continued his journey.

He worked Dean's shorts free, and dropped them to the floor. Dean watched him remove his own shorts and retrieve the supplies they needed from a bedside drawer.

'Hey, angel, I'm, well, I haven't done this in a long time, but I did get tested, when I thought you and me might, well, you know. Anyway, just so you know, I'm clean.'

Cas nodded, and grinned, he'd gotten tested too, for the same reason, probably at about the same time too. He hadn't mentioned it because he didn't want to assume, with Dean's revelations about his hiding of his sexuality, whether or not Dean would want to go beyond the things they had already done together. But he'd clearly thought about it, and prepared for it, and Cas adored his thoughtfulness.

'Me too, I got tested a couple of weeks ago, all clean,' he murmured, as he dropped the condom back in the drawer.

'Good, because I want to feel you, all of you.'

Cas kept the bottle of lube and made his way back to the bed, moving over Dean's warm body, dropping kisses here and there, as he made himself comfortable between the man's legs. Dean opened for him, almost instinctively, spreading his knees to accommodate the dark haired man between them. As Cas peppered kisses along the join of his leg and groin, Dean heard the cap of the lube bottle, and he took a breath, he was really going to do this. He searched himself for nerves for a moment, and discovered few. He was ready, he wanted this, and the force of his need was breathtaking.

As Cas slipped his mouth over the head of Dean's, by now, rock hard cock, he heard the man sigh with pleasure. Bobbing his head up and down a few times, Cas knew Dean was fully aroused, and when he looked up he could see the man had his head back, eyes closed. Cas pressed a well lubricated finger to Dean's entrance and Dean gasped. Sill sucking, Cas used his finger to circle a couple of times, coaxing Dean to open for him, to relax, to allow him entry. After a few moments he was able to slide his finger in gently, slowly, taking all the time in the world over this gorgeous man who was trusting him completely.

With a final flick of his tongue, Cas released Dean's cock as he slowly used his finger to fuck into him, opening him up for more. Dean was whimpering and Cas leaned up to check on his man, not breaking his rhythm, but pressing a kiss to Dean's shoulder, as Dean opened his eyes to look at his angel.

'Ok?'

Dean nodded, opening his legs wider as if to say, more, please. Cas smiled at his willingness, and when he judged the man was ready, added a second finger, pressing into Dean, opening him up and at the same time searching, looking for something special. Cas felt his finger brush over a small firm mound and by the way Dean responded, yelping as if electrified, he knew he'd found what he was looking for.

'Fuck Cas, that feels so good angel, want you so bad.' The brush with his prostate seemed to open a floodgate, and Dean was mumbling and moaning, filthy obscene noises that made Cas just want to slam into him and fuck him senseless, but he forced himself to wait, to take this slowly, there would never be another first time for him to make love to Dean and he wanted to do it right. He added a third finger and Dean's moans got louder.  Cas was stretching him open, it felt so good, but it wasn't what he wanted, needed from the man.

'I know baby, soon, you're nearly there, baby, nearly there,' Cas crooned, and Dean realized his brain had taken off the brake to his mouth, his thoughts were being verbalized, yet he didn't care, couldn't care any more. All he wanted was this feeling to never end, to have Cas buried to the hilt inside him, moving inside him, making him fall apart.

Cas seemed to agree, because he pulled out gently, and Dean whined at the loss.

'Shh baby, I'm coming back, don't worry.'

Cas loved this, his cocky strong man, falling apart in his hands, fucked out and needy, almost begging for him. He couldn't wait any longer, he slicked his aching cock with more lube and lined himself up with Dean's entrance. Dean felt the nudge of Cas's cock, demanding access, and moaned, and as Cas inched into him, slowly, so slowly, that it felt like it took a lifetime, those moans became lower and lower until all Dean could do was gasp for air, his whole body was coiled tightly around Cas. It felt like Cas was the centre of his entire being, there was nothing else but the two of them, joined.

'Are you ok baby, you still with me?'

Dean looked up into Cas's eyes, and realized by the way his man was panting and trembling, that Cas too was swirling on the edge of the same pit of ecstasy he was circling. It was taking all of Cas's restraint to keep still, to wait for Dean to adjust to the feeling of being filled with Cas's cock.

Dean took a breath, and when he was able to speak, his voice was strained, needy, desperate.

'Move, please, please, I need...'

Cas began to move, shallow, slow thrusts at first, Dean was incredibly tight and the heat and the slide and the tightness were going to send him over the edge soon if he wasn't careful.  He wrestled himself under control eventually, and once he judged that he wasn't going to lose it on the spot, he began to speed up, and increase the length of his thrusts. It felt incredible, he could feel, and see his man coming apart in his arms.  He wanted to be able to do this every day, every night, he would never get tired of seeing Dean beneath him, moving with him on instinct alone, out of control and exposed like this. As he felt his orgasm begin to build, pooling white hot in the pit of his stomach, he adjusted their position slightly, and pressed himself over Dean, trapping the other man's weeping cock between them. Dean groaned at the contact on his cock, and then sobbed when the angle allowed Cas to brush his prostate with his thrusts.

'Cas I'm, ahh god, so good, so close, please don't stop, fuck!'

'So good for me baby, so good, I'm right here, right here with you, it's ok, come for me baby, that's it,'

Cas was on the edge and couldn't hold back much longer, he wanted to make Dean come first, though, and so he used every reserve of self control he had, to hold off, until suddenly Dean's movement faltered, and his grip on Cas tightened. Dean cried out what might have been Cas's name as his orgasm ripped through him, and then Cas couldn't stop it, nothing could stop it, his hips stuttered as Dean's body clenched around his cock and his orgasm followed Dean's by a second or two. He groaned as Dean's orgasm milked his own from him, and eventually he slowed his thrusts, rocking them both through the moment. His head fell to Dean's shoulder as he gasped for air. Dean was also panting, and Cas could feel both their hearts pounding.

After a few moments he gathered his wits enough to move off Dean, who seemed equally stunned by their finish. He got up on shaky legs and padded into the bathroom, where he found a washcloth. He returned to Dean who hadn't moved a millimetre, save to open his eyes and gaze in wonder at the man gently cleaning them both up.

After the cloth was discarded, in the washing hamper, near it, who cared, Cas lay down, pressing himself against Dean's warm, firm body. Dean shifted to fit them together more perfectly, and to wrap his arms around the smaller man. Cas looked up into green eyes, and traced a finger around plush, soft lips.

'Hey,' he ventured, and smiled at the man in who's arms he lay.

'Hey yourself. You ok?'

'I'm perfect. But what about you, was that ok?'

Dean grinned sleepily down at the wonderful, talented, gorgeous man in his arms. How could he be anything other than ok?

'That, angel, was incredible. You are incredible.  My angel,' he mumbled, and Cas could feel the body next to him becoming more relaxed, more pliant, as Dean drifted. He sat up and snagged a blanket, somehow most of them had found their way to the floor. Pulling it over the pair of them, he wormed his way back into Dean's embrace, and pressed a tender kiss to soft, slack lips. They twitched a little, and Cas thought he heard the word angel once more, sighed softly, reverently, as they both drifted to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

When Dean woke the next morning he discovered several things. Firstly, that it was daylight, and then, secondly that he was alone. He squinted at the clock on the nightstand through bleary eyes, and discovered a third thing, that it was almost eleven am. Good thing he'd had no plans for today, other than hanging out with Cas. Who wasn't here. Right. Dean could smell coffee though, so hopefully the guy hadn't gone very far. As he dragged himself out of bed he saw those glorious wings, still hanging over the bedpost, and memories of the night before came flooding back.  There was intense pleasure, Cas had certainly rocked his world, but there was more than that, something had passed between them, a new phase in their relationship maybe?  Dean felt himself letting go of the last of his doubts, and embracing the idea of being part of a couple.  He was happy to find that the feeling didn't scare the crap out of him, that had definitely been a problem in the past.  But now, he felt ready for it.  At least he would be, if he could find his angel.  That costume had done incredible things to him and angel seemed like the perfect name for his man, especially after the conversation they'd had at the party about how angels were really bad ass warriors who took no shit. That seemed to sum up Cas, his directness, his physique, the power he seemed to have over Dean. As a name, Angel fit perfectly for his man. Smiling, he grabbed a pair of old sweat pants he'd taken to keeping at his boyfriends place, and headed for the bathroom, followed by the kitchen. No Cas in either room, but there was coffee, so he poured himself a cup gratefully, and continued the search. He located his long lost love in the lounge. He had dressed in a t-shirt and boxers, and Dean thought both might belong to him, they seemed to swamp Cas's more slight frame. The man was sitting on the couch, pencil and sketch book in hand, drawing happily, with a far away look in his eyes. One of the feathers from Cas's Halloween costume lay on the table in front of him.

Dean tucked himself up on the other end of the couch, and just watched for a while, seeing yet another side to his man.  The only sound was the scratch of the pencil as Cas worked on, absorbed in the design he was creating. A cup of coffee sat on the table next to the feather, but it seemed to be untouched, and next to it was a pile of sketch books and pencils. Dean sipped at his coffee, thinking back to the first evening he and Cas had spent together, when Cas had described his loss of artistic motivation, and how hard he was finding it, not being able to work. Dean supposed that if the guy had a pencil in his hand again, that must be a good thing, and he certainly didn't want to interrupt something that was clearly so important to Cas, so he watched, fondly wondering what was happening inside that mind. He could see that when drawing, all of Cas's facial muscles seemed to relax, that finally there was no trace of that perpetual scowl.  He seemed focused, yet calm and content.  Dean thought about what Cas had told him, about how absorbed he could get in his work, and how his ex, Balthazar, had used that against him to justify going behind his back. The confession, as it was, had been a warning on many levels, on the one hand, ' _I'm going to be distracted by my work, are you sure you want to be involved in this?_ ', and on the other, _'this broke my heart, this is my vulnerability,_ '. Dean had made up his mind there and then to support and nurture Cas, in whatever he wanted to do, however obsessed or distracted he got.  He would not hurt the man because he was doing something he loved, simply to seek attention.   Now, he thought, was the time to prove he could do that.

He finished his coffee, shifted quietly off the couch, and picked up the full cup. Yep, stone cold.  He smiled indulgently. Moving softly into the kitchen, he dumped out the coffee from the mug and the remains in the pot, resetting the coffee maker to brew a fresh pot, since apparently the previous one had been there for some time. While that was working, he stuck his head in the fridge, and found nothing particularly useful for his plans, and so he wandered back into the bedroom to dress and grab his keys and wallet from where they'd landed next to his toy gun on the floor the night before. He went back to the kitchen where the coffee was now done, and poured a cup for Cas, adding the cream and sugar to make it just how he knew his man liked it. He took it back to the living room, set it down on the table, and then leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his man's temple.

Cas jumped a little, looked up and smiled, he'd been a million miles away.

'Dean! Hey, sorry, I didn't hear you get up,' he looked at the coffee in front of him, 'uh, or make me coffee. Thank you. I'm so sorry, I can put this away right now if you like, I guess I just got distracted.'  He grinned sheepishly.

Dean smiled, and moved the coffee so he could perch on the table for a moment. He gently tugged the sketch book free from Cas's hands, placing it on the couch, deliberately not looking at it. Instead he looked at Cas, who had the look of someone caught with his hand in the cookie jar, about to get a telling off.  Dean took his hands, and leaned in for a sweet, chaste kiss.

'Angel, I've been up long enough to watch you draw for at least half an hour, and to make a fresh pot of coffee.'

Cas looked down miserably, and mumbled another apology. Reaching out a single finger to lift his chin, Dean looked him clear in the eyes so he couldn't possibly misunderstand, since apparently he already had misconstrued Dean's point.

'Hey, don't apologize, I won't have that.' Dean was firm, and then his voice softened a little, 'I like watching you draw, and I'm real happy to see you doing it. I'm wasn't going to interrupt you at all, if I could have avoided it.  I'm only doing it now because I'm going out for a little while and I didn't want you to finish what you were doing, look up and find me gone. I thought that might freak you out a bit.' He ran his fingers along the blue eyed man's jaw in an attempt to comfort him.

'Have I driven you away already?' The joke was only really half a joke, and Cas's smile didn't reach his eyes.

'No. Not at all. Never. I would happily sit here on this couch and watch you all day, babe. For all my faults, and all my issues, you need to know this, I'm not him, and I'm not going to demand your attention when you're doing something that's so important to you. The only reason I'm going out is because you have next to nothing in the fridge, which means I can't feed you. If your fridge was full, I'd be in the kitchen and I would never have interrupted you at all, except to make sure you ate. I was just thinking that if you want to work, I'll keep you fed and warm, and give you company when you want it, quiet and space when you don't.'

'Really?'

'Yes, really. I was also thinking I'd swing by my place to pick up a few things, I can do my grading here, and maybe stay tonight too, cook you dinner, give you the whole day to just do what you need to do, with me to look after your every need. How does that sound?'

'Honestly? That sounds like bliss. But why?'

'Why? Because I'm hungry and apparently you don't shop.'

'No, I know that my fridge is empty, I guess I got distracted with the wing project, what I meant was why are you doing this for me?'

'I know what you meant Cas. I'm happy when you're happy, and this, this makes you happy, I can see it,' Dean gestured at the sketch book and continued, 'I like it here, I like spending time with you, whatever you're doing. We spend plenty of time watching the movies I choose, and listening to the music I choose, and I know I can be pushy about those things and you always just go with it, and I really appreciate that. This is me, just going with it. And taking care of you a little too.'

Cas was a little dazzled if he was honest. Dean was offering him things his ex would never have considered giving to him. He'd often hidden his work from Bal, or dropped it when Bal demanded his attention, he would whine about spending time together, and how Cas was always busy. Not once had he said, ' _you do what you want to do, let me take care of you._ ' The idea was intoxicating.

'If you're sure Dean, I don't want you to be bored here, you don't have to stay. I'm sure you have more important things to do than watch me obsess over an art project.'

Dean sighed.

'Let's keep this simple ok? Yes or no game.  Be honest, I can take it.'

Cas nodded, yes, good.

'You're drawing.'

More nodding.

'You want to draw. You're enjoying it. It feels good to be back on the horse again, right?'

More nodding, slower this time.

'You like having me around?' This came out a little tentatively but was met with vigorous nodding and Dean relaxed again.

'You like my cooking?'

Affirmative nodding.

'You like the idea of me looking after you while you work. It sounds like, and I quote, bliss.'

Nodding again.

In that case, I'm going to go, get some stuff, find some food, and come back to do just that. Ok? Yes or no?'

'Yes'

'Well ok then, see, not complicated.  I'll be back in about an hour, depending on the store. Is there anything you need?'

Cas felt incredibly bold all of a sudden, and said, 'Well, there is a list on the fridge, if you don't mind?'

'Of course I don't mind, angel, I'm offering.'

He placed the sketch book back into Cas's hands, and headed back to the kitchen for the shopping list. He heard Cas call from the living room.

'There's cash in my wallet, help yourself to what you need.' He already sounded distracted again.

'Like hell I will.' Dean muttered to himself, 'What part of taking care of you don't you get?'

Passing through the lounge, he pressed another kiss to the side of Cas's head, and suddenly felt an almost overwhelming urge, to confess something that was trapped, fluttering in his chest, three very important, very profound little words. He tamped down on that though hard, no way was he ready for that. Not yet. Cas didn't seem to notice his momentary panic, though he did look up.

'If you look in the drawer next to the front door there's a spare key. You can take that so you can get back in again.'

Dean opened the drawer and found the silver coloured key. Hanging from it was a keychain, with a tiny, perfect model of a sleek, black car, instantly recognizable to someone who'd spent a life time living with and loving an Impala. He looked back at Cas, eyebrows raised, this couldn't be a coincidence.  Apparently not, Cas no longer had his book in hand, and was instead watching him intently.

'I got it made a few days ago. I wanted you to be able to come and go from here as you pleased, since we seem to come here more than your place during the week. Don't think I expect you to do the same in return, I'm not pushing for anything, just offering.'

Dean was already clipping the rest of his keys to the Impala key chain though, with a goofy smile on his face. He came back to the couch, and pulled his boyfriend into a deep kiss.

'Thank you Cas. It means a lot. That you trust me with your home, that really means a lot angel.' There was that feeling again, those three words, bubbling to the surface. But it was too soon, it hadn't even been three months yet. Not yet. He pressed another kiss, this one softer, to warm pink lips.

'I'll leave you to it, ok? If you think of anything you want or need while I'm out, just call or text ok?'

'Thank you, I will.'

Dean got up and headed to the door, tucking his keys, with their new addition, carefully into his pocket.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some homophobia and generally shitty bullying behaviour. Sincerely sorry if it upsets anyone, but as sweet as this story is, no one's life is perfect.

'Right, today's assignment is being passed out. We're taking what we learned earlier in the week and applying it. You'll find materials at the back of the room in the large cans. As you can see your project is to build a bridge out of paper. It will need to be strong enough and wide enough to hold three eggs, and also needs to meet the minimum dimensions, especially height, that are given on the assignment sheet. Eggs are at the front of the room, each team will get only four. No they're not hard boiled, yes they will break, Teams will lose points for broken eggs, and the team with the least points gets to clean up. Teams are on the board, does anyone have any questions?'

Dean loved assignments like this. Taking the theory and making it practical, applying what they'd learned and adapting it to the problem. It's why he'd fallen in love with engineering in the first place.  This class seemed to be enjoying it too, practical sessions tended to have a more casual atmosphere, people sitting on the floor, and a lot of laughter and competitive banter between teams.  Dean felt like that was a better environment for learning, and so he encouraged the informality.  As he looked around at the people shuffling around the class room, grabbing materials and making space, he spotted a hand in the air.

'Gordon, you have a question?'

'Yeah Mr Winchester I do.'  Gordon sneered at his teacher.  'Is it true that you and that woodwork guy, Novak, are sleeping together?'

Dean was speechless, of all the questions he had anticipated, that wasn't it, where the hell had that come from?  There was informality and then there was downright rude.  Before he could remind Gordon of appropriate boundaries for discussion in the classroom though, Jo had rounded on Gordon, and snapped, viciously.

'What the fuck kind of question is that?  You need to learn to mind your own fucking business!'

'Jo, it's ok, calm down.' He said, at the same time as Gordon shot back at Jo.

'Well I've got a right to know, if my class is being taught by a--'

'I'm going to stop you right there Gordon, before you say something we both regret.' Dean interrupted sharply. 'My personal life is my own business, not up for discussion by you or anyone else in this room.  I don't pry into your lives, you don't pry into mine.'

'So it's true then, you're a fucking homo? And they let you teach college kids? Fucking pervert.'

Dean tried, he really did try, he could tell he was losing his temper, and he struggled with it wilfully.  He almost had it under control, but at that final word, he felt his resolve snap, and he lost it.

'Out!' He roared at Gordon. 'Get out of my classroom! Now!'

Jo was yelling at the same time, as were one or two other people, the classroom was thrown into chaos, and Gordon suddenly seemed to wilt visibly at the onslaught.  Looking around for support, and finding none, he grabbed his bag and bolted from the classroom, throwing a 'fuck you' over his shoulder as he left.

Dean's voice was controlled, but icy.   He looked around at the stunned students.  'Does anyone else have a problem with my private life? You're welcome to leave now if you do.'

Silence. Jo looked around menacingly to make sure.

'Ok then. I want to apologize for losing my temper, that wasn't professional, you all expect better from me, and I'm sorry. I think we'd better bring this to a close today and start again on Tuesday, please clear up your materials and then you can go for the day.'

As the class filed out, Jo lingered to try and say something, anything to Dean, to make him feel better, but the look he gave her stopped her cold. She fled along with the rest of the class, and Dean slumped at his desk, head in his hands.

He'd lost his temper with a student, he'd never, ever done that before. If the damn kid hadn't used that word, he was pretty sure he could have handled it, but as soon as the word 'pervert' had been uttered, all Dean had heard was his father's voice.

~ ~ ~

  
Cas wandered over to Dean's office after his class, as was his habit.  He was looking forward to a coffee and a chat. He wanted Dean's opinions on the sketches he'd been working up, he was hoping the man's engineering knowledge could help him make his design work in a way he hadn't yet been able to figure out for himself.

When he arrived though, he found door closed, which in itself wasn't unusual.  As Cas got closer though, he could see that there was a handwritten sign taped to the door, announcing that there would be no office hours today.  He recognized Dean's aggressive scrawl immediately, he'd kept all of the notes he'd received along with the cassettes Dean had sent, he wasn't sure which were now more precious to him. He was surprised to see the note though, Dean hadn't mentioned that he was planning an early finish.

Cas checked his phone, no texts or missed calls. He tapped out a message to Dean, to check that he was ok, and to ask did he want Cas to come by. When there was no reply after a few minutes, he began to grow concerned. It was rare for Dean to not reply to him immediately.  Cas dithered for a moment, trying to decide what to do, when he became aware of a presence at his elbow.

'Damn it, Winchester, where are you?' grumbled Jo, shoving on the locked door just to be sure the man wasn't inside, before noticing Cas, who was looking confused.

'Cas, uh, Mr Novak, have you seen Dean?'

'Jo, call me Cas, it's fine. I haven't seen him, I was about to ask you the same thing, actually. Was he ok in your class this morning? Is he sick?'

'Crap. He's not answering my calls or messages, yours either I'm guessing. Something happened this morning. You want to go get a coffee with me and I'll explain?  Give Dean a chance to get his head out of his ass and call one of us back?'

'Ah, sure, ok.'  Cas was more confused than ever and incredibly worried, but he followed Jo to the cafeteria. Over coffee Jo explained the altercation with Gordon, and Dean's reaction. When she revealed the things Gordon had called Dean, his heart sank. It wasn't the first time someone he cared about had suffered homophobic bullshit, and it would, no doubt, not be the last. But he knew something of Dean's fears, and could perhaps see why he reacted as he did. He sighed over his coffee.

'What do we do Jo?  Where is he, do you think?'

'I don't know, I've not seen Dean so angry since before his dad died. I thought he was going to blow a gasket or something. How do you deal, when someone says something like that, do you know?'

'Sadly I do know, I've had people say things like that to me in the past. It never gets easier, but you learn to live with it I suppose. All of this is still pretty new to Dean though, which makes it harder on him. I've dealt with this stuff for years, he, well, I was hoping he'd somehow never have to deal with crap like this.'

Jo commiserated, she'd seen her fair share of shitty behaviour, working in the bar, but she was rarely on the receiving end of it. 

'The guy's an asshole. Certified. Card carrying, the whole lot. His brother and their buddies come into the Roadhouse sometimes, they're all dicks, but they always seemed to respect Dean. That probably makes it worse.'

'Probably yes. If it could be worse I suppose. One thing for a stranger to say something like that, entirely another for someone you know to say something so vile.'

'So what are we going to do Cas?'

Cas shut his eyes and thought for a moment.  Dean was no doubt wounded and humiliated, and likely to be angry as well.  A whole load of people trying to make him feel better was just going to make him feel worse, in Cas's estimation.  Cas knew how this sort of stuff felt, he'd been there.  He would track Dean down and see if he could talk him through it.

'We aren't going to do anything, you have classes this afternoon, I assume, if you're still on campus. I'll go see if I can find Dean, and talk to him. I'll look after him Jo, don't worry.'

Jo smiled with relief for a second, she had been willing to skip out to look for Dean, but she knew how much grief she'd get from her mother if she got wind of it.  Her mom was obsessed with her getting an education and having a better life than going into the family business offered.  Plus, she thought, if Cas was looking out for Dean, she had some time to track down Gordon the creep and deal with him personally.  She scowled, in a scary imitation of Cas, and pinned the man with a solid glare.

'Ok, but you better keep in touch, here, this is my number, text me when you find him so I know he's ok.'  Cas typed it into his phone and sent her a text to confirm. Still nothing from Dean.

'I will, don't worry, and I'll text you if I don't find him too, you might have to give me ideas on where to look.'

'Sure thing, I'll talk to you later ok?'

With that Jo jumped up and headed out of the cafeteria at full speed, like she did everything in life. She looked like she was on a mission and Cas sincerely hoped for Gordon's sake that he wasn't top of her list.


	21. Chapter 21

Cas located the Impala in Dean's parking spot, just outside his apartment. He knocked on the door, and waited, but nothing happened. He knocked again a little louder, and still nothing. He was about to text Jo when his phone buzzed, with a message from her. He frowned for a moment, jumped in his car and headed for the Roadhouse.

Almost deserted at this time of day, the place felt weird, kind of eerie during daylight hours somehow, Cas mused as he pushed through the door. He spotted Ellen behind the bar, and headed that way. She had a grim look on her face.

'He's in bad shape Cas. My idiot bartender just kept serving him. Me or Jo or Bobby would have cut him off hours ago, and we never would have let him have the whisky in the first place, in his state of mind, but we weren't here. I stuck him in the office when I got back, about 20 minutes ago, and called Jo, she must have found you. What the hell happened? Are you going to take him home?'

After Cas explained the incident at the college, he promised faithfully to take Dean home, dry him out and keep an eye on him. Ellen led him through to the small office, muttering the whole time about Gordon and his buddies.  If nothing else they wouldn't be drinking in the Roadhouse again. Dean lay face down on a small couch, legs hanging off the end. Cas and Ellen got him to his feet, dragged him out of the bar, and loaded him into the car. Dean bitched the whole time, slurring and staggering.

'You look after him, you hear? Call me or Jo if you need us.'

Cas nodded and got in the car to drive home.

He hauled Dean into his apartment, depositing him unceremoniously on the couch. Mercifully Dean had slept the short drive home, coming around as Cas was dragging him out of the car.  Cas didn't know what he would say if Dean had kept up his bitter ranting, and without the limited help Dean had offered, getting him inside would have been tricky. While Dean sagged into the couch, Cas brewed strong coffee, and poured a glass of water. Peeking into the living room, he saw Dean fighting with his own shoes, uncoordinated thanks to the whisky, and so he took the glass of water in. He tugged off the taller man's shoes, helped him off with his jacket, and pressed the water into his hand.

'Drink,' he urged, as he sat down next to the man, 'slowly, it will help.'

'Got any whisky? That'll help more.'  Dean's voice was bitter and slurred.

'I don't think so Dean. Let's stick to water for now, ok? Did you have anything to eat today?'

Dean made a frown, and for a moment looked like a small boy, thinking through a hard problem. Then he shook his head slowly. 'No, no food. Jus' whisky. An' beer too.'  He sounded pleased with himself at remembering that, and Cas felt his heart melting.

'Ok, baby, you drink that and I'm going to make you a sandwich and some coffee. Alright?'

'You mad at me Cas? Everyone else is mad at me. You mad?'  Dean had gone from bitter to vulnerable, and it hurt Cas's heart to see what Gordon's words had done to the man he cared about.  When he responded his voice was soft, soothing.

'No, babe, I was just worried about you that's all. No one is mad at you. Drink the water, it will help, I promise.'

'Ellen's mad at me.'

'She's not, believe me, she was just worried about you too, she cares about you.'

Cas put together a sandwich, poured coffee and returned to the living room where Dean was staring morosely into space.

'Hey Cas. Didja know? I'mma pervert. An' a homo.'  The bitterness was back, and Cas sighed as he resumed his place on the couch.

'Jo told me what happened, but Dean, you need to know, what that kid said, it's not true, and you know it isn't. What he said was horrible, vile. But it's not true, and you did not deserve that.'

'S'true. Muss be true. Dad said so too.'  Tears were beginning to track down Dean's face and he wiped them away angrily.  Things were starting to make sense for Cas. Dean's over reaction probably had little to do with Gordon himself, and more to do with the parts of his past that Dean still hadn't felt able to confess.  Cas was gentle as he probed the man's last remark.  He had a sense that this would be painful for both of them, for Cas to hear his man's sorrow and not have the ability to fix it, but especially so for Dean to relive, if he'd kept it bottled up for so long.

'What do you mean, your Dad said so?'

Dean's eyes took on a far away look.

'Caught me in the back seat of the Impala in high school. With a kid from the football team. Got mad, called me a dirty pervert. Beat the crap out of me, made me swear never to do it again. Never ever ever. Winchester men aren't perverts, son. Pounded on me til I swore I'd never do it again. So I didn't. Promised dad. Not a pervert.'

Cas reached out a hand to Dean, but pulled back sharply when he saw the man flinch, eyes wide with fear.

'Dean, it's me, it's ok,' he crooned softly, 'I'm not going to hurt you, I promise.'

Dean looked as if he would break any second. Carefully so as not to startle the man, Cas took away the mostly empty water glass, and pulled Dean into his arms, cradling his blond head under his chin. Rocking him gently, he promised the man repeatedly, that there was nothing wrong with him, nothing wrong with who he loved, and that his friends and family all loved him for who he was. More importantly, he deserved to be loved, for who he was, all of who he was. He could feel Dean shaking, and the wet shirt told him that the man was crying but he just held him through it, soothing as best he could, until the worst of it passed.

As Dean eventually calmed and moved to sit up, Cas released him and searched his face, wondering what he could do to lift the pain he saw there. No wonder he'd been reluctant to tell people the truth, if he'd suffered so badly at his father's hands. That would scar anyone. Dean let out a shaky breath and looked hard at his boyfriend.

'Still wanna be with me now you know what I am? What people think I am?'

Cas got angry at this, but tried desperately to keep his voice even.

'Dean, you are many things. You are smart and funny and kind, gorgeous and caring and thoughtful and resourceful. You're a wonderful brother, a loyal friend and the best boyfriend I could dream of. You are more than I could describe in a million words. But of all the words I could choose to describe you, the ones your father used, the ones Gordon chose, they would never ever be on my list of words about Dean Winchester.'

Dean goggled at this pronouncement, and looked even more dazed when Cas continued.

'I've never wanted to be with anyone more than I want to be with you. Some vile homophobic bully is never ever going to change my opinion of you, and I wish, I wish I could make you see yourself as I see you. You'd laugh at Gordon, if you could see yourself through my eyes. You'd pity him. So in answer to your, frankly, ridiculous question. I want to be with you still. Yes.'

'Wow Cas, y're feisty when y're mad. Iss sexy.'

Cas huffed a laugh. 'I'm not mad. Well not at you anyway.'

'Promise?'

'Promise. Now, will you eat something? You're going to feel horrible in the morning otherwise.'

Cas managed to coax a sandwich into Dean, before he started to fall asleep. Settling Dean's head in his lap, with a large bowl close at hand just in case, Cas stroked Dean's hair softly as he drifted off.  Darkness was beginning to fall outside, and Cas left the lights off, to give Dean the chance to sleep.  He'd put him to bed later when he was sure his man was going to sleep without being ill.  He ran his fingers through Dean's soft hair, gently massaging his scalp and neck, hoping to comfort him a little.  Dean arched his head into the touch like a cat.

'S'nice. Cas?'

'Yes, babe?'

'You're good to me.'

'I like to be good to you. Go to sleep, I'll watch you, make sure you're ok.'

'My mom always said angels were watching over me. She'd've loved you.  Would've made her laugh to know she was right.'

'I wish I could have met her.'

'Me too angel. Gonna sleep now Cas, tired. Don't go 'way 'kay?'  Dean's voice was becoming heavier as he drifted towards oblivion.

'I'll be here when you wake up. I'll always be here, don't worry.'

'Kay. Love you Cas.'

Cas froze, Dean's last comment had been soft, and muffled by oncoming sleep, but the words were distinct enough. He looked down at the man cradled in his lap, face still blotched from crying, but smoothed and slackened with sleep. He could count every golden freckle, was beginning to know the location of each one, as well as he knew his own name, his own face. He ran his hand through the messy blond hair again, and Dean sighed softly in his sleep, his sensual mouth twitching into a small smile, as he settled again. Cas knew that Dean was drunk, and he knew that the same phrase was unlikely to come out of his mouth when he was sober. But that didn't mean that it wasn't true. Drunk people often said things from the heart. He assessed his reaction carefully. He wasn't freaking out, on the contrary, he was almost vibrating with happiness, and he knew that he wanted Dean's statement to be true, because he knew that he felt the same way. He'd seen the man in his worst state, drunk out of his mind, scared and hurting and vulnerable, and still he adored him. His first instinct was to care for Dean, to soothe his hurts, to protect him from past and future harm. Not only would he follow this man anywhere, he would put himself between Dean and any threat, no matter how big.

When Cas was sure, absolutely sure, that Dean was asleep, he whispered back simply, 'I love you too Dean.'


	22. Chapter 22

They didn't talk about what Dean had said. Cas wasn't sure if Dean even remembered confessing his love, and he certainly wasn't going to remind his boyfriend. At best that would embarrass the man and at worst it might scare him away.  Dean did however give Cas a key to his place, and before long they were spending most evenings together. The run up to Thanksgiving was a flurry of midterms, assignments, and associated grading for both of them. Cas was still sketching and Dean now found sketch books and pencils taking up space on his shelves and tables, as much as his records and dvds had migrated into Cas's apartment. Their lives were blending together, and while Dean was happy, he had a nagging feeling that this was all going too well. He tried not to listen to it though, that doubt in himself had torpedoed previous relationships, and he did not want to see that happen again. 

Thanksgiving came around before they really had time to think about it. Sam arrived from California on the Wednesday evening, and there was an impromptu family reunion at the Roadhouse. Cas finally got to meet Sam, and see Dean and his brother together.  They strolled into the bar at about eight pm, calling greetings to Ellen and Jo. The place seemed to be occupied mostly with Dean's family and friends, and a few older guys who were clearly avoiding wives, family and chaos at home. Ellen had laid food out for everyone, and Alfie was half serving behind the bar, half hanging out and making eyes at Jo.  Dean led Cas over to an incredibly tall man with a mane of glossy dark brown hair and possibly the broadest shoulders he'd ever seen, and after giving the man a hug, introduced them.

'Cas, this is my little brother Sammy, Sammy, this is my boyfriend, Cas.' He glared at Sam as if to say, you dare, just try it.

'Dean it's Sam, I'm not twelve any more man.'

Cas stuck out his hand and Sam shook it with a paw the size of a dinner plate. The man was truly a moose, Cas recalled the affectionate nickname Dean used for his brother.

'It's nice to meet you Sam, Dean's told me a lot about you.'

Sam groaned. 'None of it is true, I swear.'

'And that, Cas, is bitchface number 42. He's got a hundred of them, I'm telling ya.'

'Damn it Dean. Knock it off, I only just got here. And just remember, I can tell Cas here plenty of stories about you too.'

That seemed to shut Dean up for a moment, and so Sam turned to Cas, and asked him the first question that came to mind.

'So Cas, how come you're not with your family for Thanksgiving?'

Dean looked up, he was interested to hear this, Cas almost never spoke about his family, but Cas handled the question with aplomb, he was evasive without being offensive.

'My family and I don't really get along too well, we decided long ago that it would be better if we did not share family holidays, or any time together really.'

'Well that's too bad Cas, but hey, you're welcome here.'

Sam patted him on the shoulder with his moose paw again, and Dean announced that it was time for drinks before anyone could get too uncomfortable, or even worse, Sam could start telling embarrassing stories.

~ ~ ~

Back at Dean's apartment after the Roadhouse, Dean was still curious. He pulled a couple of beers out of the fridge, passing one to Cas, and eyed him, wondering.

'Hey Cas, can I ask you a question. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.'

'You can ask me anything, I have nothing to hide.'

'Well, it's just that you never really talk about your family, and you never ever see them, as far as I know. I don't even know how many siblings you have. Are all of these things by any chance related to your, how did you put it? Oh yeah, your 'horrific' coming out story.'

'You're a smart man Dean, they are indeed.'

Cas sighed sadly, and perched on the kitchen table. This was fast becoming his favourite spot in the kitchen, he would watch, while Dean cooked, and they could talk together.

'Do you, well do you want to tell me about it? I guess I've told you most of the worst bits of my story, I'd like to hear yours.'

'I did promise I'd tell you. Can we sit on the couch? It's not a short story.'

'Sure, lets go.'

They made themselves comfortable, curled face to face at each end of the couch, legs tangled in the middle, and Cas marvelled at these easy little habits they'd grown together. He took a sip of his beer, and began to tell his story.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for a horrible upbringing, and some homophobic behaviour.

'I have three brothers and a sister. Michael is the oldest, Lucifer is next, Gabriel and then me, finally Anna is the youngest.'  Cas began his tale.

'Lucifer?  Poor kid!'

'We tend to call him Luc, at least in public.'

'Right, I can see why.  Carry on, sorry.'

Cas had grown up in Connecticut, theirs was a religious household, and he had two bullies for older brothers. House rules included no TV, strictly limited Internet, and only religious radio. Books, art and school work were his only entertainment, and he only got away with the art because he was willing to illustrate their church's pamphlets and service guides.  His father was a church leader, and he and Cas's mother were strict. To realize at the age of fifteen or so, that he was attracted to boys was something of an issue, to say the least. For a while he thought he was going to hell for the way he felt, until he plucked up the courage to do some research on the rickety old computers in the school library.  He found a world outside of his understanding, and message boards full of support, and he found that his faith was beginning to change. What kind of God would punish a man for who he loved? It didn't seem right. As he answered his questions about his sexuality, he found new ones to shake his faith. He also found a high school senior by the name of Mark, who helped him confirm some of his theories about his feelings, in a dusty supply cupboard in the back of the library.

The more Cas grew into his sexuality, the more he lost his faith, and the more he felt his family to be hypocrites. He believed though, that if he could just make it to college, then he would be able to walk away from his family, and be who he wanted to be.

Unfortunately Cas's life did not run the smooth course. By the time Cas hit 17, his oldest brother Michael had begun harbouring suspicions about Cas, and the time he spent in the library. He had taken to following him discretely, in anticipation of catching Cas with a girl, which would give him the sadistic fun of ratting Cas out to their parents. When he found his brother making out, hot and heavy, with a boy instead, all hell broke loose. Michael beat the hell out of poor Mark, and threatened to come back again with Luc the next time if Mark didn't keep his hands off Cas. Mark was hospitalized with broken ribs and the police were called. Being a high profile family, the press were also involved.

The police had inevitably explained to Cas's parents just what had happened, what had set Michael off in the first place, and so with Michael under arrest, and Cas in disgrace, the headline 'Gay student badly beaten by boyfriend's brother' splashed across the pages of the local paper did little to ease the tension at home. The only people who talked to him were Gabe and Anna, and then only when their parents were out. While Gabe and he had been close, Gabe was away a lot, he was studying nearby, but took full advantage of being a college student to avoid the homestead wherever possible. Gabe also did not fit the mold his family had designed.

Cas spent the last few months of his seventeenth year, and most of his eighteenth, miserable and lonely. He threw himself into his studies, believing college to be a chance at a way out. But even that was a nightmare. His parents, being influential people, hired a lawyer and plead Michael's case out for probation only, keeping him out of jail.  They arranged for Michael to room with Castiel for his first two years of study, to keep Cas on the straight and narrow, so to speak. He'd escaped only when he managed to sell a number of his art pieces, mainly paintings, and a couple of sculptures, giving him enough money of his own to leave, change schools, and begin to support himself. He moved to San Francisco, as far away from his family as he could fly, and changed from his parent's preferred religious studies major to art. He felt free for the first time in his life.

'So yeah, my coming out was not my choice, was splashed all over the local rag, and got a boy put in the hospital.  Oh and my brother has a criminal record, which my mom never forgave me for. Not great. I haven't spoken to any of my family really, since I left for San Francisco. I got cards occasionally from Anna, until I moved here, but that's about it. I can't say I'm sorry though. My brothers bullied me viciously, maybe believing they could knock the gay out of me. My Dad researched those camps where they give you conversion therapy. We very nearly physically fought over that, when I refused to go. And when they weren't trying to make me not gay, they behaved as though I didn't exist. They even asked me to stop doing the illustrations for the church, as if someone might catch gay from seeing my art.'

'Wow Cas, that does sound rough. I guess I had it easy. So when you said if they loved me, they'd be ok with it, how did you know?'

'Anna and Gabe. The first thing they did when we got home from the police station, in front of my parents and my brothers, they hugged me and told me they loved me. And they meant it. They knew what had happened and their first instinct was love. I miss them both sometimes, but it's been so long, I don't know even if I should get back in touch, whether they'd want to hear from me at all.'

Dean pulled his boyfriend close. His first instinct too was love.

'I can't believe you survived that angel, I can't imagine how that must have been for you.'

'It was rough. In hindsight, meeting Balthazar, I wasn't really ready for the kind of relationship we had. He manipulated me and I didn't see it. I was just so happy to be out in the open, not pretending anymore, or hiding anything. Looking back though, I was never all of myself with him either. He hated the time I spent on my work, so gradually I kept him and that separate, and the more he demanded, the less I worked. The irony being that we split up and then I couldn't work at all. Sculptural impotence.'

Dean winced at the use of the word impotence, but thought it probably summed up the situation as far as Cas felt it, pretty well.

'If you ever feel like I'm stifling a part of your personality, angel, tell me and I'll back off. I like you for who you are, I want you to be you.'

'I know, Dean, it was you being you that made me realize how unhealthy my past with him was. So thank you. I think that's what's gotten me working again, getting a sense of perspective on the past. Do you want to see what I've been working on? I notice you go out of your way not to look.'

'I just didn't want to invade your privacy, I didn't think that was right.'

Cas felt a rush of love for the thoughtfulness this man had. He reached out athletically with a foot, and using his toe, snagged one of the books which seemed to have taken permanent residence on Dean's coffee table.

'Impressively dexterous, we can put that to use later,' Dean breathed hotly into Cas's ear, feeling the man twitch in his arms. Cas gathered his control though and opened the book. He placed it into Deans hands, they were sitting Cas's back to Dean's front, so Dean viewed it over his boyfriend's shoulder.

The first few sketches were of feathers, and Dean recognized the outline design of Cas's Halloween wings, and the plans for the frame and harness.

'Wow, Cas, you're pretty talented. If you weren't an artist I bet you'd make an awesome engineer.'

He turned the pages and the images became more abstract, still in essence related to the original feather, but creating sweeping lines which seemed to give lightness and movement. Detail drawings showed what the different sides of the sculptures would look like, Cas had designed four in all, and Dean could see that when they were displayed together, they would evoke the lightness and movement of a feather in the breeze. The man in his arms was incredibly talented, Dean was blown away.

'Cas, you're incredible. You got from a feather to this? Just, beautiful, man.'

Cas glowed under the praise, and then remembered that he had something to ask Dean.

'I was actually hoping you could help me with something. I'm having trouble with the inside structure of these pieces and I was hoping you could help me figure it out. If I explain how I see them looking, could you help me?'

'I, yeah, of course, I'd love to. Where are you planning to build these things, and with what?'

'Well that's the other question. I need reclaimed metal, fabrics, plastics maybe, and a lot of space and tools to cut and weld, and so on. I was thinking about asking the college if I could use the workshop there during vacation time, but that won't work during class time.'

Dean was practically jumping up and down in his seat behind Cas though, he knew just the place. He would pull Bobby aside tomorrow and ask him, and if they could get it sorted, it would make an awesome Christmas present to his man.

To Cas he simply said, 'We'll work it out, don't worry. You have all the help you want and more from me.'


	24. Chapter 24

They were still snug on the couch, flicking through Cas's sketch book, Cas explaining what his thinking was or how he got to a certain point, what he'd designed and what he'd already discarded. When Dean turned to the back page though, the picture there took his breath away. It was no sculpture, it was a stunning pencil drawing of Dean, lying sleeping on his back, sheets tangled over his body, exposing much of his chest and torso. It was lovingly done, capturing beautiful details like eyelashes and freckles, and it seemed to show the essence of Dean. It was incredible.

Cas could hear that Dean had stopped breathing as he stared at the picture, and he turned around suddenly, horrified, Dean hated it, oh god, no.

'This is how you see me? When did you draw this, angel?' He was a little lost for words, and then he spotted it, in the corner of the picture, the wings hanging over the corner of the bed. The first time Cas had made love to him.

'You don't like it?'

'I don't know what to say, it's just so incredible, you're amazing, you know, everything I learn about you, every time I see you, everything we do together, it makes me love you more.'

Dean realized what he'd said and looked up from the picture, at a wide eyed stare, shock adorning his man's features.

'You, do you mean that? You love me?'

'Ah, cat's out of the bag now I guess.' Dean put the book down and took his lover's hands.

'Yes, Castiel, it's true. I love you. I've wanted to say it for weeks, and I guess I couldn't keep it in any more. You're so gorgeous, and so talented, and so patient and caring, and you make me so happy. How could I not love you?'

Cas broke into a wide grin, so wide his nose crinkled and his eyes sparkled. Dean didn't think he'd ever seen a smile that broad on Cas's face before, and his heart slowed it's panicked beating. He hadn't screwed up, hadn't scared him away, it was all good. He leaned in for a kiss to confirm his point, and heat seared between them as their passion grew. They scrambled to remove clothes, and suddenly they were naked, grinding together, Dean pressing Cas into the cushions of the couch, as they panted into each other's mouth.

'I want you Cas, baby, wanna show you, how much, how much I love you. Will you let me?'

The man in his arms nodded, and Dean lifted himself off the couch, standing up and pulling Cas to come with him to the bedroom. Cas, as always, followed.

Dean lay his man down on the bed, reverence in his eyes. He ran his hands over warm smooth skin, knowing now where to touch, where to tickle, and where to use his teeth, to drag those noises out of Cas, the ones which made his own heart race. He paid attention to the places which made Cas writhe under him, nibbling along a collar bone as he pressed them both together again. He felt strong hands exploring his own skin, leaving a trail of heat everywhere they touched. They rocked together, feeling the delicious friction of their cocks pressed against each other. Just as Cas thought he couldn't take it any more, Dean's voice growled in his ear, hot and breathless.

'Not yet angel, hold on.'

With that he pulled away and the loss of heat, of pressure, was a shock to Cas, who groaned out Dean's name in response to the movement.

'Fuck, Dean, come back.'

'Wow Cas, hearing you swearing like that does all kinds of bad things to me,' Dean grinned as he dug into the drawer for the lube he'd taken to keeping there recently. He snagged the bottle and returned to his position, pressing his whole body along his lover's, every inch of skin that could, was touching.

'You like it when I say bad words?'

'Yeah angel, I do. I don't think I've ever heard you curse before.'

Cas was working up a witty retort, he was, but he suddenly got very distracted by what Dean's tongue was doing, just behind his ear, and all he could manage was a groaning 'fuuuu...' which trailed off into a whine when Dean pulled back again. As Dean licked and nibbled his way to wherever it was he was going, all Cas could do was take it, his normally expansive vocabulary had abandoned him, leaving him only primitive language and the occasional 'fuck', as Dean took advantage of the knowledge he'd acquired of the man's body to slowly pull him apart. When he felt a hot, wet mouth close around his cock, though, even those sounds left him, along with most of the breath in his body.

He didn't even hear the click of the bottle but when a warm, slick finger gently sought entrance he took in air desperately in a rush, spreading himself open for Dean without even thinking.

'Relax angel, come on,' Dean murmured, releasing his cock to focus on the task at hand, and Cas tried to follow instructions, breathing deeply, in and out, calming slowly, until he and Dean both felt his body settle, and his entrance open for Dean.

Dean prepared him slowly, loving to watch his man fall into a writhing mess of blissful anticipation. When Cas began to beg, he soothed him with loving words and a second finger, sprinkling kisses everywhere he could reach as he opened his man up. When Cas's words began to break, and his breathing turned to sobs, Dean added a third finger, carefully seeking out a small bundle of nerves which he knew would drive his man wild. Sure enough, Cas yelped like he'd been electrocuted, and began to beg in earnest, telling Dean how much he wanted him, needed him. But it was when he moaned, 'For god's sake Dean, I need you to fuck me, now!', that Dean finally broke. Manoeuvring Cas's legs so that he could line up his own thoroughly ignored, and impossibly hard cock, he slicked himself, and pressed himself into his boyfriend so slowly. Cas was hot and so tight, and the sounds he was making were driving Dean to distraction, and he had to work hard not to just pound into the man.

Eventually he bottomed out, leaning over the breathless man below him. He paused for a moment, letting them both catch up for a second, and reminded Cas again that he loved him. It seemed like now he'd said it, he could never stop.

Eventually he began to move, slowly at first, setting a rhythm of shallow thrusts, checking carefully that Cas was happy. He could feel fingernails dragging into his back and he knew he wouldn't be appearing shirtless any time soon. He leaned down and returned the favour, sucking a hot bruise into Cas's collar, which made Cas whine. As he soothed the bruise with his tongue, he picked up his pace, pressing deeper with long smooth strokes, loving the sounds coming from his man, who was now babbling incoherently, all Dean caught was the occasional plea not to stop, or to please, speed up, god, fuck, until eventually Dean was setting a punishing pace, fucking into Cas with everything he had, and he realized brokenly that Cas wasn't the only one babbling. He could feel the heat of his orgasm building, he couldn't hold off much longer, and he knew Cas was close when he reached for his own cock, moaning desperately. Dean took him in hand instead, stroking him with a flick of his wrist, and then that was it, Cas bucked beneath him and spilled rope after rope of hot seed, pulling Dean's orgasm from him as he did so, both of them crying out in ecstasy.

'Jesus Dean, I've never, ah, god, hngg...' Cas couldn't connect brain and mouth, and all Dean could mutter was 'I love you' over and over. Once he finally caught his breath, he sat up a little, he was probably crushing the poor guy underneath him. He looked down into wide blown eyes, black with just a sliver of blue, kiss bitten lips, and that gorgeous post sex flush across high cheekbones.

'Angel, you look so hot right now. Wanna keep you here like this, always.'

'I can live with that. You're pretty spectacular yourself.'

They lay together for a while, soft touches and kisses, until Cas suggested a shower before sleep. Dean groaned, but he knew he'd feel better for it, and when Cas also suggested they share, well, hell, he was up faster than he thought he was capable of at his age. Cas laughed, and then it hit him, hard, and he had to tell this man, this gorgeous, beautiful man, he felt like he couldn't breath until he said it.

'Dean,' he stood and caught the man's hand, pausing him in his movement, and looking him in the eye.

'Yeah angel?'

'I love you too.' Cas said simply.

Dean smiled, wide and soft and happy, and wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist, pulling him in for a long, loving kiss. Sticky and sweaty, bone tired and light headed, this, this was what happiness felt like, what home felt like.


	25. Chapter 25

Cas woke to the smell of food, and the sound of music. Specifically he thought he could smell pie. And was that Taylor Swift blaring from the kitchen? He looked at his watch, sitting on the nightstand, it was just after eight am. Far too early for pie, surely? He knew Dean took dessert seriously, but for breakfast?  He threw on pants that he thought might have been Dean's, they sat loose on his hips. He followed his nose to the kitchen where he discovered Dean, who was covered in flour. There was food covering every surface. Dean hadn't heard Cas approaching, the music was too loud. He was rolling out pastry, and shaking his ass as he sang along to what was indeed Taylor Swift. Cas stood and watched for as long as possible, this was pure blackmail material. Dean was now shaking it off as he sang into a wooden spoon, and Cas couldn't help himself, he let out a giggle at the sight of his man goofing around. Dean froze, and then turned around slowly, going pale.

'Ah, hey Cas, how long have you been standing there?'

'Long enough Taylor,' Cas arched an eyebrow, 'So this whole time you secretly liked Taylor Swift? The whole tape thing, the whole basis of our relationship, it was just an attempt to get into my pants?'

Cas was doing his best to scowl at Dean, who looked as white as the flour he was covered in for a second, but his attempt lasted about five seconds before he was almost doubled over laughing.

'Hey man, not cool. Not cool at all.' Dean eyed the still laughing Cas, and the bag of flour next to his hand. Quick as a flash he dipped his hand in, grabbing a small handful and advancing towards his boyfriend.

'Oh no, no you don't. Dean, don't you dare.'

Cas backed out of the kitchen, hands up, trying not to laugh, as Dean came closer.

'Dean, come on now, let's be reasonable here... Dean!' Cas shrieked as Dean caught him, swung him round and rubbed flour into his hair, until they were laughing and rolling around in the hallway, covered in flour and kissing. Once they came up for air they both looked like snowmen, covered with a fine dust of white flour. Dean blinked at Cas.

'Well at least I know what you'll look like when you're old and grey, angel. Still hot. Lucky me.'

Cas laughed, and they picked themselves up off the floor, staggering back to the kitchen arm in arm.

'So, terrible dancing aside, why exactly are we covered in flour at eight in the morning?'

'Hey, my dancing isn't terrible. You love my moves.'

To prove it he grabbed Cas and twirled him around the kitchen, depositing him back in his spot on the kitchen table with a kiss. Cas noticed that while the rest of the kitchen looked like a flour bomb had gone off, that spot on the table had been kept meticulously clean. Cas smiled softly.  As Dean dusted himself off and washed his hands, very patiently he pointed out to Cas that today was Thanksgiving.

'I'm from Connecticut, not the moon, I know what day it is.'

'No sass from you today,' Dean gestured with a wooden spoon. 'Thanksgiving means pie. I'm making pie. I do it every year.'

Cas surveyed the destruction slowly. There was flour and pastry, and apple peel and bags of nuts, and butter, and just stuff, everywhere.

'Just how many people are you feeding today Dean? How many pies are you making?'

'Well, lets see. There's you and me, and Sam, and Bobby, Ellen and Jo. Ash and Alfie too, and then possibly Charlie. Bobby and Ellen tend to invite anyone who's likely to be lonely too, so who knows? I'm making a pecan pie, an apple one, and a pumpkin one too. Do you think three will be enough? I have some cherries, I could do a cherry one too.'

Dean was rummaging in the fridge by this point, pulling out more fruit and butter.

'How are you with cherries Cas, think you can get the stones out of these?'

They worked side by side, making pastry cases and filling, and eventually four perfectly home made pies sat cooling on the kitchen counter, and they even managed to clean up most of the flour and destruction caused by their cooking. As the dishwasher rumbled, Dean turned to Cas and eyed his hair. The flour made him look grey, in a distinguished way. He had a flash of a long off future, grey hair and crinkles around bold blue eyes, pink lips still smiling at him. He liked that thought, he liked it a lot.

He reached out and ran his hand through dark flour snowed hair.

'Shower?'

Cas grinned. 'I think that's probably a good idea. What time should we be at Ellen's?'

'By around three, Dinner's usually at six, but it's good to hang out with people, you know?'

Cas looked at his watch. It was eleven fifteen.

'We have plenty of time Dean, we don't need to shower right away.'

Dean's voice dropped, becoming rough with want. 'I was planning a long shower, if you know what I mean angel.'

Cas thought he knew very much what Dean meant. Suddenly the situation seemed very urgent. He grabbed Dean's hand and hauled him towards the bathroom.

~ ~ ~

Inside the shower, Dean's plans of a long luxurious shower flew out of the window, when Cas ran his hands over Dean's chest, dropping to his knees as the water flowed over them. He wasted no time in taking Dean's swollen cock into his mouth, and it was all Dean could do to stay on his feet as Cas went to town, sucking and licking, groping Dean's ass as he urged Dean towards what Dean thought might be the fastest orgasm of his sexual career. His groans echoed off the walls as the combination of the flowing hot water and Cas's determined ministrations dragged him to his climax, and there was nothing he could do but warn the man that he was coming, and then he was releasing into the back of Cas's throat as the man swallowed and swallowed, gazing up at Dean, water soaked, with droplets collecting on long dark eyelashes. Dean lay his head back against cool tile and groaned again. This man was incredible.

As Dean gasped for air, Cas returned to his feet, looking at Dean like he was nowhere near done, and Dean drew a shaky breath. Cas leaned his head back, letting the spray rinse his face and then kissed Dean, before gently turning him around to face the tile. Wrapping one hand around Dean's chest, splaying his fingers wide, he used the other to prep Dean open, thrilled that Dean had thought to leave lube in the shower.  He nuzzled kisses and encouragement into the back of Dean's neck as his fingers scissored, moving constantly. Dean was panting and professing his love by the time Cas pressed into him, carefully filling Dean until Dean was pressed into the tile and Cas was pressed flush against him.

Their grunts echoed around the small room, as Cas started to move, grinding into Dean, slowly at first, then harder and faster, until the heat and the steam and the water and the sweat were indistinguishable. Dean was gasping and Cas was relentless, pounding into him hard, and goddamn if Dean wasn't getting hard again. As if reading his mind, Cas smoothed his hand from where he was gripping Dean's hip, to wrap his long fingers around Dean's hardening cock, and Dean was astonished to find himself fully hard again so fast. Cas timed his strokes in time with his thrusts, and soon Dean was sobbing into the tile, one hand bracing himself as the other gripped Cas's hand on his chest. He felt Cas's movements lose their rhythm, faltering as he fought to delay his orgasm, and jesus, suddenly his own climax felt like it was being torn from him. As he cried out, Cas followed him, biting down on Dean's shoulder as his climax racked his body.

As they both regained awareness, Cas ran a tongue gently over the teeth marks he'd left on his boyfriend. He pulled away, and Dean turned around, wobbly. He took Cas into his arms and smiled, leaning in for a kiss.

'So much for the long lazy shower huh angel?'

'What can I say, you're pretty irresistible when you're naked and wet. And it's not like we've done much actual showering.'

'True, angel, very true.'

Dean grabbed his shampoo, poured it out and began rubbing it into Cas's hair. Cas arched like a cat into his touch, practically purring.

'You like that?'

All Dean got in response was a happy sigh, as Dean did his best to get out the last few flecks of flour he'd put there in the first place. He ducked Cas's head under the shower, and rinsed him off, running his fingers through wet hair, and then Cas returned the favour, scraping his fingernails against Dean's scalp as he lathered his hair. Dean was experiencing a new kind of bliss, as Cas massaged his head and neck, and Dean was sorry when Cas pulled away and nudged him under the shower head to rinse. They'd showered together last night, but it had been quick and perfunctory, this, though, was something else entirely, as they took the time to wash and care for each other, every moment as loving as they had been in bed.

In the end Dean got the long, lazy shower he was planning on.


	26. Chapter 26

They eventually arrived at the Roadhouse at about three thirty. Cas helped Dean tote their pies carefully from the car, depositing them in the bar's kitchen to be warmed through later. Cas looked around at the bar, it looked so weird without the veteran regulars propped on their regular seats.  The blinds and shutters were all open, and sunlight streamed in through the windows.  Someone had taken great care, all of the wood was gleaming, and there was no dust anywhere.  Judging by the look on Jo's face she'd probably been press ganged into the work, alongside Ellen. A bunch of tables was clubbed together in the middle of the room, and they had real actual tablecloths covering them.  The effect was surprisingly homey.  Jo was using the bar's silverware in setting the tables, and Ash was behind the bar, teasing Alfie. Bobby was hanging out on the couches at the end of the room, watching football on the biggest TV they had, clearly making the most of hosting the holiday in the bar he and his wife owned. Sam was with him, beer in hand, occasionally shouting and gesticulating at the TV. Dean towed Cas over to the space after obtaining them both a beer from Ash. The other bonus of hosting dinner in a bar, plenty of beer. Grabbing spots on the couch, they were quiet until the break and then exchanged greetings, although Dean and Sam traded more insults than greetings.

As the game started up again Cas became absorbed, along with all the other stuff he'd missed growing up, he'd never really watched football with any real attention before, and although it seemed brutal at times, there was a certain amount of grace to the game. And there was no denying the attraction of watching a bunch of huge men wrestle around in tight pants, even if he had no clue about what was actually going on. As the men around him collectively yelled at the TV and groaned in defeat though, he started to consider that this was what being part of a family might feel like. He didn't really understand enough to cheer in support or commiserate in defeat but he felt involved, welcomed, and that was enough. Dean took the time to explain some of the rules, and Sam patiently explained why he should never be a Patriots fan, and along with Bobby's bitching, they made Cas feel like a part of the group.

The feeling grew as Ellen called them to the table, which was heaving with food. A huge golden turkey, at least two types of potatoes, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, Ellen's delicious biscuits, and more. Plates were passed, food served and shared, and insults and jokes exchanged. The group hushed though as Ellen picked up her glass and cleared her throat, making eye contact individually with every person who was at the table including Cas.

'There's no doubting we're an odd family, but we certainly are a family. And so I'm thankful for all of you assholes, sitting around my table. Thank you for coming. Enjoy.'

Bobby raised his beer bottle, looking up in open adoration at his wife for a moment. He muttered a 'here here' and at that, everyone fell to their food.  Castiel thought he put away more food than he ever had in his life before, and he still couldn't match Dean's appetite.  After dinner came the pies, and despite the mountain of food everyone had eaten, they all still managed at least one slice, apart from Dean, who managed a slice of each, and who apparently made the same happy noises regardless of who he was eating with. No one seemed to care, apart from Sam, who employed bitchface number 27 and asked him if he needed some alone time with his pie, and Castiel who blushed a little, thinking about the talents of a certain cherry pie.

They all moved back to the couches after dessert, bloated and sleepy. Jo and Sam were vaguely debating the merits of the latest Avengers movie, versus the original comic book series, but no one else seemed inclined towards in depth conversation, and in fact, when he felt a dead weight on his shoulder, Cas discovered that Dean was out cold, sleeping off his immense meal, probably dreaming of pie. Cas disentangled himself from Dean, who had basically collapsed onto Cas. He got up carefully, tucking a pillow under Dean's head and wandered into the kitchen where Ellen stood boxing up left over food and Ash was loading the industrial dishwasher. Cas picked up a stack of plates and pitched in.

'Dean comatose?'

'Yeah, Bobby too.'

Ellen huffed a laugh. 'Well if you're here you might as well be helpful,' and she pointed at the industrial sized sink full of pans. Cas laughed, rolled up his sleeves and got to work.

As everyone slowly came out of their food comas and started to move around again, there was a banging at the door, signalling Charlie's arrival just in time to tuck into leftovers and beer. She immediately established a Cards Against Humanity set up around the now cleared dining table, with Sam, Dean, Cas, Ash and Jo, Alfie was still out like a light, and looked younger than ever sprawled on the big leather couch. Bobby and Ellen were watching over him and chatting, curled on the opposite couch together in a rare display of affection. They played into the night, Cas and Dean sitting close together, discovering things about each others sense of humour which left them giggling wickedly in each others arms more than once. Jo rolled her eyes when their public displays of affection got too much, and Charlie was mock unimpressed with their lack of attention to the game. Sam just looked on with a far away, dreamy look, whenever the two of them touched.

When they finally gathered themselves and the pile of leftovers Ellen had boxed for them, ready to go home, Sam pulled Dean aside. Dean tossed Cas his keys and told him he was driving. Cas caught them and headed out to load and warm the old car.

'You let him drive the Impala?' Sam's eyebrows were making a break for the ceiling.

'Sometimes, yeah, why?'

'It's just, wow, that's a lot. You guys seem really good together. He looks at you like, like you're his whole world. I'm just glad to see you happy.'

'It feels good Sammy, he's a good man.'

Sam hugged his brother, and nudged him out the door. Dean vanished for half a second, then came running back in, looking for Bobby.

'Crap, I nearly forgot, hey, old man, you got a minute?'

Bobby dragged himself off the couch and they walked away into the back of the bar, heads together. When Dean came back he was grinning from ear to ear, and he reached up to ruffle Sam's luscious locks as he headed out the door, to be taken home by his gorgeous man.


	27. Chapter 27

The week after Thanksgiving everyone's lives went back to normal, Sam flew back to California, college was back in session and beginning the descent into madness that was finals, which meant increased workloads all round. The weather seemed especially bitter at this turn of events, and the temperature dropped heavily as they headed for December. Cas's college workshop was freezing cold on good days, it was old and drafty, and a challenge for the college's ancient heating system. After a week of seeing his man come home with blue hands and feet, Dean took action. Cas found a box on his desk the next morning. It contained a pair of thick black woollen mittens, and a pair of heavy black and yellow socks, embroidered with bees. Apparently Dean had in fact been listening when Cas had been waxing lyrical about how interesting bees were a few nights ago, not just nodding along to appease him. As Cas pulled on the mittens with relief, he found that they were in fact also fingerless gloves, which was just perfect, he could keep them on all day if he wanted to. Cas wondered again at the thoughtfulness of his boyfriend, and, not for the first time, he felt a slight panic about what to give the man for Christmas. Dean's gifts to him were always so thoughtful and considered, he wanted to do something equally considerate. He thought about his man, about what was important to him. The Impala, his baby, was of course on the list, as was Cas, but he'd already given himself to Dean, a thousand times over. Staring out of the classroom door, he saw a blonde head bob past in a sea of students moving between rooms, and he smiled. He added music and family to his mental list of Dean's favourite things. Pie was also a given. He thought of Dean's apartment, small and simple, but telling about the man. In the hallway, the first things you saw when you walked in were photos of his family, and that's when Cas's idea came to him. He'd have to go see Ellen, and maybe call Sam too, if Ellen couldn't help, but hopefully he could pull it together. It would be perfect.

~ ~ ~

Dean was also thinking about Christmas. Bobby had agreed to help him with his plan, and more importantly, agreed to lease Dean an old storage shed which had been on the grounds of his Auto Repair business for as long as they could remember. The large shed itself was old, but solid. Inside was a mess though, and part of the agreement between Dean and Bobby was that the lease on the place would be ridiculously cheap, if Dean did the clearing and renovating of the junk inside. It was a horrible job but it would be worth it in the end. He was planning to surprise Cas on Christmas day, and if that was going to happen, he had a lot to do. As well as clearing and painting the shed inside and out, it needed electricity, that and sorting out the parking outside were big jobs. Dean was also hunting for tools. Bobby had a few bits and pieces he could offer up, but for larger things like lathes and cutters, Dean turned to the internet. His engineering background meant he knew essentially what kind of stuff Cas would need for a fully fitted out workshop, and where to find it, but getting things at a price within his fairly small budget meant a lot of research. He was out a lot, and secretive about his computer habits, but he hoped Cas would understand once he saw what Dean had created for him.

~ ~ ~

Cas wandered into the Roadhouse. Dean had told him he would be home late, again, and so Cas thought he'd use the time to get started on his project. At the back of his mind there was a niggling question about why Dean was suddenly out so late, so often, but with the flurry of finals prep and the never ending stream of students seeking them both out for advice about grades, assignments and exam technique, neither of them really had a lot of time to offer the other. Dean had been spending a lot of time at Bobby's place too, and Cas didn't mind Dean helping the man out. It just seemed like they rarely saw each other for more than a few minutes before falling into bed these days. Every now and then though he would arrive in his classroom to find a new cassette sitting on his desk though, and that would settle his fears.

Cas wanted to give Dean a family portrait for Christmas. A photograph was impossible, with his parents both dead, and so Cas was planning to draw a portrait, of Dean's whole family, blood and chosen. He was hoping Ellen could help, he had no idea what Mary or John Winchester looked like, and he was hesitant about including John at all. Ellen though was incredibly helpful, providing him with boxes of old photographs to work from. Her belief was that John should be in the picture, he was Dean's father, and for all their problems, Dean had still loved him. Cas saw the sense in that argument and so took several pictures where John and Mary were together, and looking happy.

The search through family albums gave Cas a pang of longing as he thought, inevitably about his own family. It had been so long since he'd heard from them, and he missed Anna and Gabe terribly. That night, as he tucked the box of photographs Ellen had loaned him carefully under his bed, he was still thinking of them. Before he could talk himself out of it, he pulled out his phone, and scrolled down to what he hoped was still Anna's number. He took a breath and dialled. When a warm voice answered excitedly, 'Castiel, is that really you?' he sighed with relief. He and his sister talked long into the night, catching up on years of missed experiences. Before she hung up she promised to give Cas's number to Gabe, who was apparently working in San Francisco now, not far from where Cas used to live. Small world. Cas looked forward to catching up with him too. He hung up the phone and smiled, until he realized the time. It was after midnight and Dean still wasn't here. This was getting ridiculous, what was the man up to?

Cas sent a quick text to tell Dean he was going to bed, which received no reply. As he lay in the dark, old fears started to resurface. Was Dean avoiding him? Lots of late nights, and when he did arrive, he was always freshly showered. He claimed to be working at Bobby's place, but wouldn't say what he was working on. Was any of that true? Or maybe there was another explanation for Dean's behaviour, and Cas was just too dumb to see it. Cas sighed in the dark. Was he about to get his heart broken again? Would he even survive this one?


	28. Chapter 28

Mid December and finals week rolled around. Cas's classes acquitted themselves pretty well, he felt, and their achievement was as much down to their enthusiasm as it was his teaching.  Nevertheless he was proud of his first ever group of students, and he enjoyed the feeling of seeing what they'd learned as he graded final exams and projects.  Cas could see how Dean had wound up with so many old projects in his office, he was loathe to throw away any of the work his students had completed, he had a great sense of pride on his student's behalf for the work they'd done.

The only good thing about finals week was that it meant fewer classes, as students completed exams.  It was the trade off for the gruelling amounts of work both students and teachers put in to get through it, and so Cas was sitting in his office, going over exams, where he had been for several hours.  There was a knock at the door and he looked at the clock, thinking suddenly that he'd probably missed lunch again.  He looked up expecting, or at least hoping for Dean to be there, inviting him for food, telling him off for working too hard, but the man shadowing his doorway was not his boyfriend. Not any more at least. A tall, wiry man with neat blond hair and a sharp grey suit stood in the doorway. When he spoke his accent was English, with a hint of American twang, a testament to living in the US for many years.

'Cassie, the lovely lady at the front office told me I'd find you here. How are you darling? May I come in?'

'Balthazar? What in God's name are you doing here? How did you find me?'

'Well your brother and I, we've been in touch, and he sort of told me where you were. You don't mind darling, do you?'

_Mind? I'll kill Gabe next time I see him_ , Cas thought to himself. Out loud he said, 'What are you doing here? You can't possibly expect me to believe you just happened to be in Lawrence and popped by to look me up.'

'Well no, that's true. I did sort of come here specially. I just thought we should talk Cassie, everything ended so abruptly, and you just vanished. Can we talk?'

'Now? Here? At my work?'

'Perhaps not. Would you meet me for dinner later?'

Cas sighed. Dinner would most likely be a solitary affair, Dean was planning to be at Bobby's place again, and the question of what Dean was actually doing and where he might really be twisted in Cas's gut.

'Ok fine, why not, we can have dinner. There's a diner on 7th, I'll meet you there at about 6.30.'

'Marvelous, Cassie, see you then darling, I can't wait.'

Dean overheard the end of the exchange as he stood outside Cas's office door. Cas hadn't been by for coffee for a couple of days, they'd both been ridiculously busy, and so he'd come down to see him and catch up. He'd been so distracted lately but things were nearly there, and he was getting pretty excited about giving Cas his Christmas gift. So who the fuck was this English dude and why the fuck was Cas planning to have dinner with him? As the man headed out of Cas's office door Dean whirled away before he was seen.  He bolted for the exit, thoughts tumbling.

~ ~ ~

Dinner with Balthazar had gone surprisingly well. Cas had expected arrogance and attitude, his ex-boyfriend's trademark approach to most situations. But Balthazar had conducted himself like a gentleman. He had apologised for how their relationship ended, he shouldn't have done it, it was a big mistake, he'd been unhappy but had no idea how to tell Cas, so he screwed up. Cas was surprised at his confession, but happy to hear it nonetheless. They'd talked, about what went wrong and why, and eventually drifted to other topics, reminiscing over the past, Cas catching up on what their friends had done since he left. It was wonderful to reconnect with the past and people he'd run away from, San Francisco had been his home and it was true that he sometimes missed it.

The only awkward moment of the night had been as they were saying goodbye. Balthazar walked Cas back to his car, and they stood there for a moment.

'Thank you for dinner Cassie, it was nice to talk to you again. I have missed you so.'

'It was good to talk, you're right.' Cas smiled softly at the man in front of him, realising that their conversation had confirmed to him once and for all that Balthazar was not the man he wanted to be with. Unfortunately they had apparently not reached the same conclusion, for that was the moment when Balthazar leaned in for a kiss, pressing against Cas's lips, in a way that was achingly familiar. Cas froze for a second and then pushed the man away firmly.

'Balthazar, you and me, look it was good to talk, to get things cleared up, but I'm with someone now, nothing is going to happen between me and you ever again.  I hope you understand that.'

'Ah, well now, this is awkward, I obviously misinterpreted, ah, something. I'm sorry Cassie, it won't happen again.' He ducked his head, apparently embarrassed, and Cas nodded.

'Goodnight Balthazar, it was nice to see you again.'

'Goodnight darling, you too.'

Cas got into his car and drove home, singing along to AC/DC. He'd played the tape so often he knew the words, and he was still humming the tune when he let himself into his apartment. He stopped when he found Dean sitting there in silence, waiting for him.

'Hey, long time no see. I thought you were out at Bobby's tonight?' There was a note of bitterness in his voice but Cas didn't care. This was the first time he'd seen Dean in days, and here he was, sitting on his couch, glaring at him like Cas had done some terrible wrong to him.

'So I see.' Cas had never really seen him angry, but he could tell now, the man was pissed. 'Where the hell have you been tonight, darling?' he asked Cas, his voice controlled, yet somehow mocking.

'I went out for dinner, is that a problem? It's not like you were going to be here to eat with me. So I went out.'

'Who with? I know you didn't have dinner on your own. Come on, Cassie,' he spat, viciously, 'who'd you take to the diner for dinner, behind my back?'

How did Dean know where he'd been? And what was with the name, only Balthazar called him that.

'Have you been following me Dean? Eavesdropping on my conversations? What is wrong with you?'

'I know what's going on. I know what you've been up to. Tall blond fella, English accent, it could only be one man, couldn't it? Your long lost boyfriend is here to whisk you off, back to sunny San Francisco, isn't he? You've had your rebound and now you're going to run back to your old life. How long have you been messing around behind my back? Huh? How long?'

Dean was bitter and angry, who wouldn't be, after finding out that this whole thing had just been some sort of fling, a rebound exercise for Cas, and that now he was going to go back to his dick of an ex, leaving Dean alone again, after all Dean had done, opening himself up to his family, to Cas, all for nothing.

Cas's laugh was hollow. 'Are you kidding me? Of all the things I would do, you think I'd do that? After what he did to me, what I went through, you think I'd do that to you? Come on Dean, I keep telling you you're a smart man, you're cleverer than that surely?  You know me better than that, by now?'

'You think this is funny? Screw you Cas, I saw him coming out of your office. I heard you arrange to go to dinner with him.  Are you going to lie to my face?'

'So you have the time to hang around outside my office and listen in on private conversations do you? Yet you don't have the time to come home for dinner, or to spend an evening with me. I should be asking you all the things you're accusing me of. Is that it? It is, isn't it? You're screwing someone else behind my back and you're projecting all that on to me to ease your own guilt! Who is he? Or is it a she? Wow, Dean, did you finally realise you do actually prefer women huh?'

It was a low blow and Cas knew it. But he was furious. And so he kept going.

'Yes I had dinner with Balthazar. He came here to apologise to me. To try and make amends for the way things ended between us. And when he tried to kiss me I turned him down, because of you. Because I wanted to be with you, not him. But now I'm starting to wonder. If you really think I'm capable of screwing around behind your back, if you can't explain where you are at all hours of the night, why you show up here fresh out of the shower every time, then I don't know if I made the right choice after all.'

'Fuck you Cas. Let's get this straight. You go off to dinner in secret with your fancy English ex, and then you kiss him, and then when I get mad about it you have the nerve to question me, to accuse me of messing around, and then to question my choices, my sexuality? And now you're telling me you made the wrong choice? Where the fuck do you get off man?'

Dean shot to his feet, fuming. Before Cas could say another word, he flew from the apartment, slamming the door behind him hard enough to rattle the windows. Cas sank to the floor, too stunned to even cry.


	29. Chapter 29

Sam arrived at the Roadhouse for the Christmas holiday a few days later.  Ellen handed him a six pack of beer, took his luggage, and sent him straight out of the door again, over to Dean's apartment. When Ellen pressed a key into his hand and told him not to take no for an answer, he started to worry. When Dean didn't answer the door, he worried more. Letting himself in, he peered through the gloom, trying to see any evidence of Dean being here. The place was a mess, the curtains were all closed, the air was thick and smelled of booze and misery. Pulling up a blind in the living room, and opening the window to let some air in helped a little, and elicited a groan from a mound on the couch.

'Dean?'

'Urgh. Sammy, what are you doing?  Turn it off.'

'I can't turn off the sun, Dean.  Ellen sent me over to see you. What's going on? Are you ok? And what's with all the booze, man?'

Sam picked up a couple of empty bottles and dumped them out of the way, making room to perch on the edge of the coffee table as Dean slowly shifted until he was sitting upright.

'You look like crap man, what happened?'

Dean scrubbed his hands over his face, rasping through several days of facial hair, as he groaned again.

'Don't wanna talk about it Sammy.' Dean's voice was thick but filled with warning.

'Are you drunk? It's three in the afternoon. What the hell dude?'

'Don't give me bitch face, I can't deal with it right now Sammy.'

'I'm making you coffee, and then you're going to tell me what the hell happened.  And where's Cas?'

Dean just groaned and slumped back down on the couch.  Sam got up and started gathering bottles, full ones and empty, and toted them out to the kitchen. He rummaged until he found coffee grounds and set the coffee maker to work while he continued to clear up. He dumped the six pack in the fridge, no way was he going to give his brother more booze, given the state he was in.  He came back with hot coffee, which he pressed into Dean's hands, once he got him upright again, and then he resumed his spot on the coffee table, pulling an impressive bitch face. Number 76, Dean thought, his special 'Dean you fucked up' bitch face, and Dean almost giggled to himself. Spot on as usual Sammy.

'Talk Dean, what's happened? Did something happen to Cas?'

Dean heaved a sigh and stared morosely into his coffee.

'Me and Cas, we had a fight. A big one. Really big. He accused me of cheating on him, and I accused him of planning on running off with his ex.'

'Any accuracy in any of that? You didn't, did you?'

'No damn it! Sammy, I didn't. I wouldn't. I'd never do that to Cas.' Dean explained all about Cas's previous relationship, how it ended, how much that had screwed Cas up. As he talked Sam watched, and he could see how much Dean cared, how much he was hurting. It was obvious to anyone who heard him talk about Cas, how much he loved the guy, and it was clear to Sam at least that Dean would never deliberately hurt him.

'Ok, so why then, would Cas accuse you of cheating?' Sam was being very patient, trying to get to the bottom of what had left his brother in such a state, but nothing had become clear so far.

'Well I've been working on his Christmas present, and I've been out a lot, and I guess he started to wonder what I was up to. I've been setting him up a workshop so he can build his sculptures, in the old shed at the back of Bobby's place. It was really messy work, and took forever. So I was out a lot, and I guess, I was being pretty secretive, cause I needed to be, for it to be a surprise. I guess he's a bit paranoid after his last relationship. But I don't think I helped matters much. I kind of over reacted.' Dean trailed off as he hung his head.

'What did you do?'

'Well I kinda made some assumptions that probably weren't true. He had dinner with his ex, and I assumed he was going to go back to San Francisco, with him.  I mean why would he want to stay here with me?  It's not like I have a lot to offer.  Anyway, we both said some pretty horrible things to each other. And now he won't return my calls, and I don't know what to do.'

'And you thought drinking your own body weight in whisky was the answer?'

'It seemed like a good idea at the time. You got a better one?'

Sam sighed, shaking his head.

'I just think, if I could show Cas his present, make him see that I wasn't sneaking around, that I was making this thing for him, then maybe I tell him how sorry I am, and we can fix this. But he won't talk to me. He won't answer the phone or the door, so how in hell I'm supposed to get him to come to Bobby's place is beyond me. I don't know what to do.'

The beginnings of a plan were growing in Sam's giant moose brain though.

'Hey, Dean, do you still have that old guitar?'

~ ~ ~

Cas was miserable. More miserable than he could ever remember being. More miserable than he'd been after his disastrous coming out, or after finding Balthazar in his bed with another man. He cycled between lying in bed staring at the ceiling, and pacing the rooms of his small home. He slept during the day, and tossed and turned at night. He picked up the phone to call Dean a dozen times, and yet ignored the phone every time it rang, paralysed at the thought of what Dean might say if he picked it up. He was lost. He talked to his sister briefly, and that was his only human contact for several days. He lost track of time, wallowing in his misery. Even the prospect of Christmas did little to lift his mood. He and Dean had planned to spend it together, with Dean's family. Now he would spend it alone, with only the gift he'd made Dean for company. That thought was enough to almost drag him under again.  He missed the idea of the warmth of Dean's family almost as much as he missed the man himself.  He recognized that his body needed food, and that he needed to shower, shop, cook, and be a functional human being but all he could do was mope. He'd screwed up badly, said some awful things to the man he loved, driving him away, breaking both their hearts in the process.

Christmas Eve rolled around and Cas celebrated with a shower. It was about as much as he could manage to do with his day. He was sitting flipping through one of his sketch books, staring morbidly at the many sketches he'd made of Dean, his hands, the curve of his back, his hip, his lips, and over and over, his eyes. Smiling, somber, closed in sleep. He'd spent days drawing the man he loved, and he still didn't think he'd captured everything about him.  It was the only really functional thing he'd been able to do for the past few days, and though he could see he was torturing himself, he couldn't stop.

He sighed and picked up his pencil again, as a knock sounded at his door. For a moment he considered ignoring it, but when the knocking turned into a thumping and a woman's voice started yelling his name, he got up to answer it, if only to avoid pissing off the neighbours.

Jo was standing on his doorstep when he pulled open the door, and he scowled at her perky smile.

'What?' His voice was sharp.

'Dean sent me over. He asked me to give this to you.'

She handed him a small box, wrapped in Christmas paper, with a tag tied to it. His full name, Castiel, was scrawled on the tag in Dean's distinctive handwriting. He looked down at Jo, and then back at the box. She smiled, turned smartly on her heel and walked away, leaving him with the mystery box. He shuffled back into the apartment, closing the door behind him. 

He placed the box on the table, looking at it warily, as if it might explode.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the end is pretty close for this one! I just want to say thank you to everyone who's been reading along, leaving comments or kudos, it's been really nice to know someone's reading my work! This is my first fic, and I've learned so much about writing from it. I've got the bug though, so if you're in the mood for something a little darker, not quite so sweet, but still Destiel (of course!), check out my next fic, 'The Golden Rule'.
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/3560792


	30. Chapter 30

Twenty minutes later Cas was still staring at the box. He'd worked through a dozen reasons to open it, and a dozen more reasons, just to dump it in the trash. In the end though, he couldn't stem his curiosity, and so he picked up the box, and shook it gently. It rattled, but was light. Nope, no clues as to what was inside. He picked at the paper carefully, tugging the box free from it's wrapping, and eased the lid off to reveal the contents inside. He almost laughed. A cassette tape wrapped in a note. Now he saw it, he wondered what else he could have ever expected.

'Play this, then come here. Please?'

Underneath the plea was an address. Cas sighed, and looked at the tape. Padding into the bedroom he grabbed his cassette player and slipped the headphones on. Ejecting the Led Zeppelin tape that he'd fallen asleep to the previous night, he seated the new tape, closed the deck and pressed play. He heard crackle and hiss for a moment, and then what sounded like shuffling. Cas frowned. An acoustic guitar began to play, and Cas recognized the tune, although the last time he'd heard it, the melody had been picked out on a piano.

'I was dreaming of the past  
and my heart was beating fast  
I began to lose control  
I began to lose control  
I didn't mean to hurt you  
I'm sorry that I made you cry  
Oh my I didn't want to hurt you  
I'm just a jealous guy'

Tears rolled down Cas's face as he heard Dean's gruff voice working through John Lennon's masterpiece, Jealous Guy. By the end of the song he thought he could hear Dean's voice cracking too. He rewound the tape and played the song again, and again. After the fourth time through, he wiped the tears soaking his face, and remembered the note. Snatching it up he read through the address again. He grabbed his keys, and raced out of the door, tape and note in hand.

~ ~ ~

Dean was pacing. He'd had the call from Jo to say the tape had been delivered. Apparently Cas looked as rough as he did, and Dean couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or not. The man was hurting and that meant he cared, but he was hurting because of something Dean did. That made Dean's own heart ache. He looked around at what he'd created here for the man he loved. The spacious shed had been a ramshackle storage unit, and Dean had effected an amazing transformation. The outside had been stained and weatherproofed, and inside there were clean white walls. Along the back wall there was a selection of machinery, and a workbench, lights overhead, and a cassette player on one corner. The rest of the space held large bins, intended for material storage, and open space, to build, store and photograph. He'd even installed heating. Fairy lights strung from the rafters, twinned with green garlands gave the place a festive feel. It was perfect, he couldn't wait to show it to Cas, but what if his gambit didn't work, what if Cas didn't come? Sam had suggested the song, and Ash had helped him record it. Jo volunteered the mode of delivery, evoking the first contact they'd had, all that time ago. Dean had done his part. It had taken multiple tries to get through the song without breaking down, and in the end he'd had to make Sam an Ash leave, he felt like he was baring his soul and it was hard to do that while someone watched. They'd got there in the end though, and now all Dean could do was hope and wait. So he paced.

Cas pulled up to the address he was given. A sign with his name on it pointed him down an alleyway, so he steered his car along the trail, and pulled up behind a large wooden building. He climbed out of his car and walked slowly around to the front of the building, wondering what on earth he was doing here.  He found large wooden doors standing slightly ajar. What Cas saw when he peeked in, blew him away. Clean, white walls, an array of equipment and tool chests, storage, work space and in the middle of it all, a tall blond man pacing back and forth. Cas took a deep breath and slipped through the door, walking up behind Dean, waiting for him to turn.

Dean was losing hope, and he was so absorbed in his panic that he didn't hear the car, or hear Cas slip quietly into the building. He was obsessing, trying to figure out what he could do to reach out to the man he loved if this didn't work. He turned, and froze, hardly daring to breathe, as he looked at the man standing before him.

'Cas, you came.' Dean had been rehearsing the things he wanted to say for hours, but now his mind went blank, and his heart pounded in his ears. They were silent for a moment, gazing at each other, and then Cas filled the void.

'Dean, what is this place?'

Right, the workshop, Christmas present, focus.

'Well Cas, this is, ah, it's your Christmas present from me, and a bit from Bobby and Ellen too. But mostly me. You needed a space, I found you one. It was a storage shed, so I fixed it up for you.'

'For me? This,' Cas gazed around, eyes wide, 'this is for me?'

'Yeah Cas, it's for you.'

'You did this?'

'Yeah. This is where I've been all the time. Cleaning and painting, and putting in the electrics and stuff. I found you the tools and machines too. I had to search the net for good prices, it took a while, but I think you'll have everything you need to work here. I even made sure it was heated, and the doors open wide so it will be cooler in the summer.'

Cas felt a dawning realization. He'd accused Dean of cheating, and all the while he'd been here, putting this place together for him. All of his behaviour, the late nights, the secretiveness, the showers before he showed up at Cas's place, it all suddenly made sense. Suddenly Cas felt about two inches tall.

'Dean, I'm so sorry. The things I said, I never should have thought you would do something like that to me. I should have trusted you. I should have known, and I never should have questioned you like that. The things I said, they were so horrible, I'm so sorry.'

'Cas, I should be the one saying sorry. I could have said something, I could have set your mind at rest somehow, and besides, I never should have said the things I did you. I was hurt and scared, and I thought I was going to lose you. I lashed out and I hurt you. Can you forgive me?'

'Of course I can, Dean, this place is incredible, I can't believe you did this for me. I don't deserve it, after the way I treated you.'

'You do, you do, you deserve this and so much more. I'd give you everything you ever wanted if you'd let me?'

'Does that mean you forgive me too?'

'Without question. I love you angel, can't you see that?'

Dean stepped towards Cas, arms wide, posture open, tears streaming down his face. He hesitated when Cas didn't move, and Dean felt a moment of panic. Had he got this so wrong? And then in a rush, Cas threw himself into Dean's arms, almost knocking the wind out of them both. Calling him angel, that term of endearment Dean reserved only for him, tipped him over the edge and Cas could feel himself welling up to match Dean's tears.

'I'm so sorry', he sobbed, his own tears falling freely, as he felt Dean's strong arms wrap around him, holding him tight. It had only been a few days but it felt like they had been apart forever. Dean's grip was crushing, but Cas felt like he could breathe for the first time in days. Dean could hear something muffled from the face buried in his neck, and he pulled back to try and understand what his man was saying.

'What did you say angel?'

Cas swallowed and tried to compose himself. He looked shyly at Dean.

'Well I think there was a thank you and an I'm sorry or two, and definitely an I love you. I missed you Dean.'

'It's all good, we're ok, you're here now.'

Dean used his thumbs to rub the tears away from Cas's face and pulled him in for a kiss, sighing in relief as their lips joined together. He wrapped his arms around Cas again, holding the man as tight as he could, without crushing the man's breathing. Their kiss was long and deep, and when they pulled back they were both breathless.

'Happy Christmas, angel, let me show you around your present, I hope you like it.'

Cas was pretty sure he was going to love every inch of this place.

Cas was amazed at the work Dean had put in. The workshop offered pretty much everything he'd ever need. There was even a couch, and a coffee maker, just like the one in Dean's kitchen. A small fridge was ready to hold snacks and Dean had even managed to provide a sink and running water for cleaning up. It was amazing, so well thought out, perfect for what Cas needed. Cas looked around, he could see Dean sitting here drinking coffee while he worked. After the nickel tour as Dean called it, they curled on the couch together, thrilling at just being close together again. Swapping kisses and soft words, they reacquainted themselves. As they shed their clothes, they soothed over the hurts of the last few days with whispered words and gentle caresses. Cas leaned over Dean, suckling kisses and tender nips across his chest, and then looked him in the eyes and wondered aloud.

'I don't suppose in all of the things you thought to do here, you considered bringing lube?'

Damn he was right to the point, as usual. But Dean was ready for him.

'Yeah angel, I thought of that too.'

He snagged his jeans where they lay on the floor, and fiddled in the pockets until he found what he was looking for, a small bottle of lube, which he handed to Cas with a smirk, lying back on the couch with his head resting on one arm as he watched Cas lube his fingers, ready to prep him open. The smirk was wiped from his face as Cas pressed the first finger into him, and replaced with a groan of pleasure. Cas worked him open, one finger at a time, murmured words of encouragement and love falling from his mouth as he made his man ready for him. Eventually Dean was open and gasping, begging Cas to take him, to own him, to have everything he could offer. Cas finally, finally met Dean's requests, nudging into him slowly, filling him, until they were both whimpering. Cas looked down into sparkling green eyes, filled with love, hope, happiness.

'I love you Dean Winchester,' he whispered as he began to move, rocking into Dean, who moaned and canted his hips, meeting Cas's rhythm with his own. They moved together, synchronized, fasted and faster until they were both crying out. Cas pressed the length of his body against his lover, trapping Dean's aching cock between them, and the glorious friction was almost too much for Dean. All he could do was cry out his man's name before his orgasm tore through him, his body arching up to meet Cas, who followed, hard, sobbing Dean's name.

Both men fought to catch their breath, the intensity was overwhelming. Cas gently disentangled himself from Dean, reaching down for his t-shirt to clean them off. He settled into Dean's arms, moulding their bodies together again. This was the place he was meant to be, the world could go to hell outside and he wouldn't care. This man's arms around him was the only thing he needed in this world. And when Dean murmured, 'love you too angel, merry Christmas' he knew that coming here, taking the risk, it was the best choice he'd ever made. He could still hear that little voice inside him singing joyfully, praising the man who's arms held him tight. He was home.


	31. Chapter 31

Two Years Later

Dean opened the front door of the home he and Cas shared. It was a small, three bedroom family home, they'd found it a few months ago and it had been in desperate need of some love and care. With Dean's engineering skills, and Cas's creativity they'd managed to turn their fixer upper into a gorgeous home, a place that they both loved to live in. Cas had insisted on decorating for Christmas and there were lights everywhere, and silver garlands and green wreaths made the whole place look like the inside of Santa's grotto.  Dean smiled softly at the picture which held pride of place in the lounge, a drawing of his family, framed, hung over the mantle piece.  His first Christmas gift from Cas.

Dean piled his armful of boxes under the tree. There were gifts for Sam and Jo, who apparently had figured out that a six foot four guy and a five foot two girl fit together perfectly, and were now dating enthusiastically. There were boxes for Bobby, and Ellen, Ash, Alfie, Charlie, Anna and Gabe, and many more. This was their first Christmas in their shared home, and when Dean had shyly suggested to Ellen that they could have Christmas at their place instead of the Roadhouse, a major break with tradition, she'd been thrilled. Dean knew that it meant cooking the meal was on them, but hey, he and Cas knew their way around a kitchen, and it was good to give Ellen a break. Dean was looking forward to tomorrow, filling their home with the people they loved, feeding them a bunch of food, and sending them away full and happy.

He arranged his packages under the tree. Cas had insisted on a live tree, and since Dean basically couldn't deny the man anything, their six foot tree made the whole house smell of pine and Christmas. Dean loved the smell, but hated the needles, and had to brush a few off his knees as he stood. He made a mental note to vacuum again. He was heading into the kitchen to make coffee when he spotted a box on the table, with a tag on top.

'Open me' read the tag, and Dean frowned. Was this supposed to be under the tree with the rest?

He took a gamble and pulled open the box, which held two pieces of paper. One was a simple pencil study of two hands, clasped together, he would recognize his boyfriend's art anywhere. He could tell that one of the hands was his own, from the freckles on the back, and so he reasoned, the other must belong to Cas. The second was an address. The address of Cas's workshop. Beneath the address it said simply, 'Bring the drawing'.

Baffled, Dean grabbed his leather jacket and keys, and headed out to find out what his boyfriend was up to.

As he approached the workshop he noticed that the doors were slightly ajar. He stuck his head around the door and gasped. All of the lights were off, except for the fairy lights he'd strung up to make the place festive when he gifted the place to Cas that first Christmas. Lit only by those tiny white lights, the sculptures Cas had been working on were thrown into relief. They were also pushed back to the sides of the room. Cas had created and sold his beautiful feather inspired works, and was currently working on a new series, commissioned by a local business. The business had loved his work representing feathers, and had wanted him to create something relating to their business icon, a bird in flight. They'd given him a generous budget and free artistic reign. The works he'd produced so far were stunning, with fluidity and movement which belied their composition of reclaimed metal and car parts. Every time Dean watched his man work he was stunned by his vision and talent.

But the normal cluttered workspace was cleared, and there was a man standing in the middle of the room, hands in pockets, looking nervous.

'Hey angel, what's up? And why did you need me to bring this?'

Cas took a deep breath as Dean came closer, holding out Cas's drawing. He took the picture and studied it closely for a minute, before placing it carefully on the work bench behind him. He looked back at Dean and screwed up his courage.

'I asked you to bring it because it's not finished, at least I hope not, there's an important detail missing.'

Cas looked up into his boyfriend's eyes, wondering at this man who'd helped him to understand what a loving relationship could be, who'd helped him grow and trust again.  He reached out, taking one of Dean's hands, studying it for a moment. He fumbled in his pocket, pulling out a box, and dropping to one knee.

'Dean Winchester, I love you, with all of my heart. You make me so happy, and I love our life together.  I want to make you as happy as you make me, for the rest of our lives, if you'll have me.  Will you marry me?'

Dean swallowed. He had not seen that coming. He thought of the little box sitting in his own jacket pocket, against his chest, and he smiled. He pulled Cas to his feet, wrapped his arms around him and kissed him deeply. The smaller man was shaking slightly.

'Is that a yes?'

'Yes angel, yes. Yes, I'll marry you. I'd be honoured.'

With trembling hands Cas pulled the ring from the box and placed it on Dean's finger. It was stunning, a scroll of silver worked into a feather, which wrapped around Dean's finger.

'It's beautiful Cas, thank you. I love it. Did you make this?'

Cas nodded, and grinned, that wide, eye crinkling, nose wrinkling, grin, and pulled Dean in for a deep kiss.

'So this is what's missing from your picture huh?' Dean said, marvelling at the ring on his finger, loving the feel of it.

'Yes Dean, it seemed presumptuous to include it. I'm glad you said yes though, I'll add the ring to the picture. Maybe we can use it for our wedding invites?'

'That sounds perfect. But you should probably include this too. I was planning to give this to you tomorrow, but you beat me to it.'

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the little box which had been living next to his heart for the last couple of weeks. He handed it to Cas who opened it, and gasped, Dean had chosen a feather design too, a stylized feather was set into a wide silver band.

'Great minds think alike huh? Do you like it angel?'

Cas nodded vigorously and handed it back to Dean to place on his finger. Dean slipped the ring over his fiance’s knuckle, and pulled him close for a kiss.

'I love you too Castiel Novak.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the road for this story, but I think there's a good chance I might come back to these guys in the future, just to see how they're getting on! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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